jetje
10-18-2004, 09:17 AM
So....Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road?
GEORGE W BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Our side of the
road is the right side of the road and the chicken is either against us or
for us.
There is no middle ground for any chicken.
JOHN KERRY :
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road...I am now against it.
COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
DONALD RUMSFELD :
I have known about the chicken crossing the road for several months. I was
investigating why the chicken moved but didn't feel it was necessary to
alert anyone.
HANS BLIX :
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
RALPH NADER :
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, God-fearing, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH :
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when
I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from you to build road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART :
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any inside information.
DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die in the rain. Cold and alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. :
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
AL GORE :
That was my chicken. I invented the chicken, as well the road that it
crossed over.
GRANDPA :
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS :
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON :
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together peacefully.
ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX :
It was a historic inevitability.
CAPTAIN KIRK :
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
SIGMOND FREUD :
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES :
I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook...and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN :
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON :
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken crossing?
COLONEL SANDERS :
Did I miss one?
GEORGE W BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Our side of the
road is the right side of the road and the chicken is either against us or
for us.
There is no middle ground for any chicken.
JOHN KERRY :
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road...I am now against it.
COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
DONALD RUMSFELD :
I have known about the chicken crossing the road for several months. I was
investigating why the chicken moved but didn't feel it was necessary to
alert anyone.
HANS BLIX :
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
RALPH NADER :
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, God-fearing, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH :
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when
I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from you to build road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART :
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any inside information.
DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die in the rain. Cold and alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. :
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
AL GORE :
That was my chicken. I invented the chicken, as well the road that it
crossed over.
GRANDPA :
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS :
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON :
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together peacefully.
ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX :
It was a historic inevitability.
CAPTAIN KIRK :
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
SIGMOND FREUD :
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES :
I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook...and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN :
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON :
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken crossing?
COLONEL SANDERS :
Did I miss one?