hippychick
11-18-2004, 01:59 PM
One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about. Okay, first: it's round, plumb and red."
Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered:
"An apple."
"No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking. Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish."
Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy.
"Is it a peach?"
"No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard." By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically.
The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally.
"A banana," she says.
"No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."
Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it it's round, hard, and it got a head on it."
"Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!"
"Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like the way your thinking!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull foreskin back
4. Pee
5. Push foreskin forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did good.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5. :ohmy:
Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered:
"An apple."
"No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking. Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish."
Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy.
"Is it a peach?"
"No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard." By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically.
The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally.
"A banana," she says.
"No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."
Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it it's round, hard, and it got a head on it."
"Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!"
"Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like the way your thinking!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull foreskin back
4. Pee
5. Push foreskin forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did good.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5. :ohmy: