A Fly....

[Jon L. Obscene]

Coming to the end of it's life is buzzing around just how they do, not quite as quick on his wings as he used to be.
A laps of concentration and without warning he realises he is flying towards the electric fly bug killer, the fear and shock give the fly a heart attack just as he hits the light which gives him a jolt and restarts his heart :01:

Now what are the chances of that huh :01:

Jonno :cool:

[Jon L. Obscene]

Care to lay something on it?

I intend to test the theory later :01:

Jonno :cool:

[Mr. Mulder]

It’s possibly some form of government sleeper agent build with parts from alien technology by the Military :unsure:

[Mr. Mulder]

You should check to see if the man who installed the bug zapper has a smallpox inoculation scar on his upper left arm – that’s how they keep stock of you for when colonization comes http://www.filesharingtalk.com/vb3/images/smilies/unsure.gif

[100%]

ops wrong thread

Fly swatters are cheap

[Virtualbody1234]

Do flies have hearts?

----
Where's your avatar, 15%?

[Jon L. Obscene]

You test the theory and I will do the same. We can then establish scientifically what the odds are of it happening.

My wager is a large apple, are you willing to cover this sirah.

Indeed sir.
I will wager a Des O conor album which I will obtain from the Salvation Army shop therefore our wager will be helping charity.

My test will comprise of :

1 x Fly (alive)
1 x Fly Electricution Chamber
1 x Rubber glove
1 x Throat Sweet

I will hold the fly loosely in my gloved hand.
Switch on the Fly Electricution Chamber and set it to "Fry teh Fly"
I will stand Approx 4 Feet from said Chamber.
Having pre eaten throat sweet in order to clear my voice.
I will shout very loudly into my hand in an attempt to give the Fly a heart attack.
I will then throw said Fly into said Chamber.

The result should theoretically be one of 2 outcomes.

1 : The Fly will fly straight out again and continue with it's life.

2 : The Fly will be subjected to "Fry Teh Fly" and will simply cease to exist.At which point the proper authorities will be notified of the "Accident".

Jonno :cool:

[Jon L. Obscene]

So it's agreed.

FEC's at 5pm and not a moment later.

This expiriment shall be named

"The GL Prodject"

After George Langelaan, the writer of the Movie entitled "The Fly" 1958.

Jonno :cool:

[100%]

I hope the fly's family will be notified should the result be accidental
also be warned a few animal rights groups have been notified

[Jon L. Obscene]

The Fly's next of kin have given concent in the name of Science.

There will be a large police presence to help with protesters.

We have also turned the signs at the end of the road to point in the wrong direction to help with this possible problem.

Please note : No fly's will be harmed in this experiment except the one's we will be using.

Thankyou for your time and support. The results will be posted as soon as we have them.

Jonno :cool:

[Jon L. Obscene]

Yes I have that time too (at the time of the above posting).

I will add that having researched the mental agility of a Fly it is possible that this will need to be attempted more than once.

May I suggest a "Best Of 3" aproach?

I will now travel utilising my automobile to the Nearest curry house to obtain said Fly's.

Jonno :cool:

[100%]

Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.
Chinese Proverb

You must lose a fly to catch a trout.
George Herbert (1593 - 1633)

[Jon L. Obscene]

Ok so I used 1 Fly.

I followed all instructions given earlier.

Notes:
Fly is bugger to catch when you let it go.
Rubber glove smells funny.
Do not switch on FEC with wet hand, this leads to a resulting electric shock, which is kind of ironic.


Findings:
Fly most definitely had heart attack after I shouted as it suddenly stopped buzzing just before I threw it.
When said Fly made contact with FEC there was a loud crackling noise.
The Fly then dropped to the ground.
At this point I came to the conclusion the experiment failed, upon closer inspection the Fly seemed to be twitching. I put this down to electricty still flowing causing the nerves to react.
After approx: 84.9 seconds the Fly without warning suddely flew up out of my hand and promtly landed on my sandwich at which point I splattered it's brains with a newspaper and threw my sandwich to the birds.

Thus proving that my theory is sound but Fly's are still very fucking annoying.

Thank you for your interest.

:w00t:

Jonno :cool:

[DanB]

:lol:

Jonno becomes a mad scientist :ph34r:

[100%]

Another step forward in the amazing world of Science

[Jon L. Obscene]

This experiment seems to have gone horribly wrong, there is a huge swam of flys outside my house all carrying what seem to be tiny picket signs :huh:

Hang on...................

.................I don't believe it, one of them only has a minimegaphone, most interesting.
Most interesting indeed.

I'm going to open the door and squirt them with fly spray.

Jonno :cool:

[Jon L. Obscene]

The spray did'nt work, it seemed like they lifted there wings in order to catch the spray.
Maybe some kind of deoderant?

I'm not sure what to do now as there seem to be Fly's chaining theselfs to shelf brackets in some form of protest :huh:

Jonno :cool:

[100%]

Your last house burnt down mysteriously

what now?

[manker]

http://www.neowin.net/forum/fun/die_thread_die.jpg

[100%]

REDRUM

[Jon L. Obscene]

http://www.neowin.net/forum/fun/die_thread_die.jpg

Acording to Sideshow Bob, that is Spanish for "The Thread.....The" :01:

Jonno :cool:

[100%]

According to CrossDresser Suzy(aka Joe), that is German for "The Thread.....The"

[vidcc]

two flys were standing on a lump of doggie do....one farts the other says "do you mind...i'm eating"







http://www.nigelhumour.co.uk/coats1.gif

[100%]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: