Advice & tips

[100%]

Please Donate Advice or Tips about everything and anything to everybody and nobody....

to the old lady in the queue,
in the future please retrieve your wallet and locate the (non-exact) cash BEFORE you reach the cash register.

[ziggyjuarez]

To Cuba& China:
Cut the shit,you know what you must do.

[Mr. Mulder]

For the attention of old women who walk there dogs in the Lincoln area: just because my dog sniffs your dog, it does not entitle you to speak to me and or follow me to the shops and back. I do not now, nor have I ever cared for your medical history or your nephew who’s just gotten married.

[manker]

To people that text message me; If I've answered your text and I haven't asked you a question, don't bother texting me back with an unrelated question. If you want to chat just phone me. Texting pisses me off.

[Mr. Mulder]

For the attention of the workers of the Lincoln Bus Station Co-op. When I am standing in line to purchase whatever bottles of delights you have on offer and keep checking my watch whilst looking at you in disgust, it generally means hurry the fuck up as I have a bus to catch in less than two minutes. It does not mean, turn to your left and start chatting to Barbara on till one about putting in some extra hours, please just concentrate on the ones you have.

[100%]

To all foreigners living in Scandinavia,
Take a vacation, or go home at least once a year (especially in the winter) inorder to (try) save your integrity.

[DarthInsinuate]

FAO drivers who nearly hit me when i cross the street - use your damn turn signals

[vidcc]

Always fart into the rings on top of your gas cooker. This will turn back the gas meter, and save you a fortune over a period of time.

[100%]

Thanx for that economically enhancing tip Vidccc.

To women,
When there is a stressfull situation, screaming does not help.

[vidcc]

for women as well.

don't even try to throw overarm.

[vidcc]

Housewives. When nipping out to the shops, remember to carry a stiff broom in the boot of your car. Use it to sweep the broken glass to the side of the road every time you have a minor accident.

[Money Fist]

dont shit (or let any one shit) in the same bathroom ur about to have ur bath in

[Vargas]

Persons who reside in crystallized domiciles, should refrain from the projection of geological specimens.

[manker]

Taking Fiber's lead - as he's just reminded me of something that happened years ago, something that you wouldn't normally think of or try to prevent.

Never, under any circumstances, let your girlfriend to take a dump using a toilet in a bathroom that you're in, having a shower, bath, shave or whatever. Your relationship will be damaged, I'm not sure how exactly, but it's irretreivable.

Just lock the fucking door to be sure :fear:

[bigboab]

To boy scouts and girl guides. Please stop helping old ladies to cross the road unless they really want to go across the road.

[Yogi]

To people who lost their head in my supermarket:


If you would have said "sorry" after hitting my ankle with your shoppingcart, i might

have considered not ripping your head off and just have kicked you instead.



yogi

[bigboab]

If you are old and/or erratic dont go into supermarkets in the Netherlands. :lol: :lol:

[TheDave]

turn off lights and tvs and stuff at night. if we all did it, it could have a significant effect on carbon emissions from powerstations

[Yogi]

If you are old and/or erratic dont go into supermarkets in the Netherlands. :lol: :lol:


Advise to scottish elderly man:

Don't try to talk with your head ripped off. :lol: :helpsmili

[bigboab]

Advise to scottish elderly man:

Don't try to talk with your head ripped off. :lol: :helpsmili

Advice to any married man.

You will get used to talking with your head ripped off. :lol:

[ziggyjuarez]

To Canada:
What the fuck are you doing up there brotha?Have you been in eny wars ever?I think you guys are the nice's race of human kind ever.Dont think you guys even kill each other to.Thanks canada for being so nice :)

[Gemby!]

Thanx for that economically enhancing tip Vidccc.

To women,
When there is a stressfull situation, screaming does not help.

Yeah it does :rolleyes:

My advice would be to the number 7 bus drivers - stop driving so dam fast !! i keep falling over.

Also, do not talk to me when i hop on, you are not my friend :no:

[100%]

To Michael Jackson,
Nope, it's too late to go back

[ziggyjuarez]

to jesus:
whats up my favorite jew

[bujub22]

To Cuba& China:
Cut the shit,you know what you must do.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

[TheDave]

tip to gemby. dont stand in front of the number 7 bus

[Gemby!]

tip to gemby. dont stand in front of the number 7 bus

So that is where i am going wrong :rolleyes:

Next tip : Tuna with mayo is even better when you add some vinegar - makes it tangy :w00t:

[DarthInsinuate]

Tip for the chippie man: i don't like vinegar, so stop asking if i want any on my chips :dry:

[100%]

Advice: When giving advice to someone, try to avoid sounding condescending

Tip: When giving tips in Restaurant's or Cafe's, avoid giving to little and when abroad avoid giving too much.

[DarthInsinuate]

To anyone: if you need to ask me any questions that means i'm smarter than you, which also means i don't care, so bugger off

[brotherdoobie]

turn off lights and tvs and stuff at night. if we all did it, it could have a significant effect on carbon emissions from powerstations

But leave the lights on during the day...

Peace bd

[brotherdoobie]

Don't eat the yellow snow...

Peace bd

[Cheese]

Don't invite Jessica Fletcher to your home/city/country. Someone will die and someone else will be framed for the murder.

[uNz[i]]

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

[Gemby!]

Advice - Be polite to gemby :) and she will be polite to you

be mean and she cries secretly :(

[(>Zero Cool<)]

']If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

:lol:

sorry but I actually laughed out loud at this one and felt obliged to inform you.

tip: when making funny posts please be sure to warn other peeps who may be reading them whilst trying to swallow a beverage. :dry:

tip: having a beverage come out of your nose is not an advisable method of cleaning it, your nose I mean :huh:

tip: keyboard do not like getting beverages spilt on them. :no:

[brotherdoobie]

Don't allow yourself to become static.

Peace bd :)

[Money Fist]

okok let round these all up
and find out what the best Advice/tip was

my vote goes to my contribution on the second page

[Skiz]

Vargas - Page two.

[(>Zero Cool<)]

tip: don't always presume that other users have the same number of posts per page viewable :rolleyes:

Ps I go for unzi #thirty four

[bigboab]

Too late Zero. I was drinking tea when I read this too. :lol: :lol:

Drying the keyboard now. :)

[(>Zero Cool<)]

Too late Zero. I was drinking tea when I read this too. :lol: :lol:

Drying the keyboard now. :)

:lol:

I did try to warn you mate :rolleyes:

[Djtima]

i got advice...
from the pope himslef
http://img22.exs.cx/img22/8181/n00b6fk.jpg

[ziggyjuarez]

To people in general:
1.If you see a bug,dont run to get the spray and come back to find its hidden somewhere in your room.

2.Dont get scared and spray the whole house with anti-bug spray and sit in the mist well your head beats and you nose bleeds.

3.Dont listen to kanya west.hes gay.

4.Dont bump topics...

[Gemby!]

1) relax

2) dont do it

3) pick your nose and chew it

:blink: childhood rhymes dont always offer the best solution to your problems :(

[ziggyjuarez]

Im going to tell on you
why?
Because you pushed me off the bus and made me cuss

[Gemby!]

thats not advice ....

'im going to tell on you' may be considered a tip though

[Alien5]

to the thing or person who is stopping me from accessing filesharingtalk.com for the last 48 hours
f**k off

[ziggyjuarez]

It gets funnyer every time i see it.they look at him as if he farted or something

[ziggyjuarez]

oooop wrong thread

[Gemby!]

:lol:

WTF?!?!?

[Alien5]

its not funny you little s**t

ive been messing around with f***king proxy servers for 5 hours

just to get here, for you to laugh at me.. :cry:

[ziggyjuarez]

it was supposed to go in the kanye west thread :(

[DarthInsinuate]

its not funny you little s**t

ive been messing around with f***king proxy servers for 5 hours

just to get here, for you to laugh at me.. :cry:
that's the sort of post that just makes me laugh more :lol:

[Alien5]

i thought i was banned for some reason :cry:

[Gemby!]

i thought i was banned for some reason :cry:

its ok to feel alienated :w00t:

:console:

[Alien5]

thankyou god :happy:

[Gemby!]

did you not get my joke ???

:( and i tried so hard too

[ziggyjuarez]

i thought i was banned for some reason :cry:

its ok to feel alienated :w00t:

:console:
:shutup: :slap: :whistling :fist: :no2: :ermm:
wtf

[Alien5]

gemby (is god) said: its ok to feel alienated!
alien5 said: thankyou god!


i did get it did you? :)

[Gemby!]

finally some appreciation :lol:

[Alien5]

finally i can look at this site through a proxy server in malayzia :-)

[Gemby!]

mm k

[Gripper]

Don't offer you spliff to the undercover policeman at the concert..the greedy bastards smoke it all!!!

[GepperRankins]

i had a dream is was shooting a rabbit sized weavel with a BB gun and it wouldn't die

[Gripper]

weavels wobble but they won't fall down

[Gripper]

Don't ever let your significant other persuade you to shave your genitals:)

[Mr. Mulder]

Don't ever let your significant other persuade you to shave your genitals:)

wize wurds mr gripper, wize wurds indeed :no: