Best of the best The Simpsons Quotes [Archive]

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Monkeee

03-04-2005, 08:31 AM

C mon Guys! You cant forget about The Simpsons! :01:

lol i remember i watched this a couple days ago.

Mr. Burns: Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!

Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.

Mr. Burns: No! They're so big and strong!

Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me Smithers from the Germans!

:lol: :lol:

ziggyjuarez

03-04-2005, 08:13 PM

Mr. Burns:Yes

cpt_azad

03-05-2005, 01:26 AM

Homer: I am so smart, smarty smarty smart. S-M-R-T......I mean S-M-A-R-T.

mike45450

03-05-2005, 01:36 AM

Computer: Hello, Smithers. You're-quite-good-at-turning-me-on.
Smithers: Uh...you should probably just ignore that

It's hard to pick some from Simpsons coz there's so many episodes to try and remember

cpt_azad

03-05-2005, 02:49 AM

here's another one:

Apu: Oh god, she's waking up, quick Homer, use the chloroform.
Homer: Gotcha (starts putting something on her face)
Apu: ....You idiot, those are colorforms!
Women (wakes up)

Bowen747x

03-05-2005, 02:55 AM

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Mail Attendant: OK Mr Burns, what is your first name.
Homer: I dont know!

cpt_azad

03-05-2005, 03:04 AM

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Mail Attendant: OK Mr Burns, what is your first name.
Homer: I dont know!

:lol: That's a classic :lol:

Homer: Hey listen, here's 10 dollars, go get me some pizza from over there
Vendor: No pizza, only karklash.
Homer: Alright alright (takes a bite)....ewwwww (keeps eating).. Ok, now what do you got to wash down this disgusting food
Vendor: Mountain Dew or Crab Juice
Homer: Ewwww yuck aww, damn it, gimme some Crab Juice.

LMFAO

david622

03-05-2005, 03:14 AM

Carl: Is there anything fluffier than a cloud?
Lou: If there is, I don't wanna know about it...

cpt_azad

03-05-2005, 03:20 AM

Carl: Is there anything fluffier than a cloud?
Lou: If there is, I don't wanna know about it...

:lol:

McBain: Thank you thank you, say hello to my music Stowie.
Audience claps
McBain: Hey Stowie, that tie makes you look like a homosexual.
Audience: BoooooO!!!

McBain: Why do men always leave the toilet seat up?.......That's the joke.
Audience member: You suck Mcbain!
McBain pulls out gun and shoots him
McBain: Now my impersonation of Woody Allen....Hello, I'm a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls.
Audience member 2: Hey that really sucked!
McBain pulls out grenade and throws it at him.

ofbz

03-05-2005, 05:08 AM

can't remember exactly how it goes... but is something like this:

*homer is in the lie detector machine*
Agent: ok Homer, the machine is gonna beep every time you lie. Do you understand that?
Homer: Yes
*the machine goes crazy*

Monkeee

03-05-2005, 05:12 AM

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

cpt_azad

03-05-2005, 07:20 AM

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: LMFAO

Adster

03-05-2005, 12:48 PM

hello my name is mr burns i believe you have a letter for my

"OK Mr burns whats your first name

Homer

I don't know

that team suck I tel you they really sucked but they were the suckiest sucks that ever sucked

or the elephant one

homer stuck in the quick sand

"thats ok ill just get my hands to get my feet out"

homer sings more

"thats ok Ill just use my head to get my arms out

homer sinks completley

"homer shoots flanders'

bart: Dad you just shot the zombie flanders

Homer : He was a zombie??

Man fall down......... Funny

mike45450

03-05-2005, 02:35 PM

or the elephant one

homer stuck in the quick sand

"thats ok ill just get my hands to get my feet out"

homer sings more

"thats ok Ill just use my head to get my arms out

homer sinks completley

LMAO! :lol:

----

FBI Agent: ''Listen! When I press down on your foot and say hello Mr Thompson, you smile and nod.''

Homer: ''Got ya.''

*Agent stamps on Homer's foot*

FBI Agent: ''HELLO MR THOMPSON!''

*Homer stares blankly, then leans over to the guy sitting next to him*

Homer: (whispers) ''I think he's talking to you.''

hondarvf400

03-06-2005, 12:33 AM

"my eyes, the goggles do nothing"

david622

03-06-2005, 02:28 AM

Lisa: If you need me, I'll be in my room...
Homer: What kinda catchphrase is that?!

QualityPapers

03-10-2005, 04:08 PM

Homer just out of the shower, talking on the phone

"You'll have to speak up, im wearing a towel"

Classic

Virtualbody1234

03-10-2005, 06:55 PM

darkmatter

03-12-2005, 02:56 PM

# "Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:

You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

Filliz

03-12-2005, 04:53 PM

LMAO! :lol:

----

FBI Agent: ''Listen! When I press down on your foot and say hello Mr Thompson, you smile and nod.''

Homer: ''Got ya.''

*Agent stamps on Homer's foot*

FBI Agent: ''HELLO MR THOMPSON!''

*Homer stares blankly, then leans over to the guy sitting next to him*

Homer: (whispers) ''I think he's talking to you.''

Yeah,that's one of the best ever.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

cpt_azad

03-12-2005, 05:24 PM

Trainer: Up and Atoms!
McBain: Up und at zem!
Trainer: Up an Atoms!
McBain: UP UND AT ZEM!
Trainer: UP AND ATOMS!
McBain: UP AND AT THEM!
Trainer: ......(sigh) getting better.

david622

03-12-2005, 08:38 PM

lol, awesome quote

trajillo

03-13-2005, 01:12 AM

SIMPSONS SCANDAL UPDATE !! HOMER SIMPSON SLEEPS NUDE IN AN OXYGEN TANK WHICH HE BELIEVES GIVES HIM SEXUAL POWERS!!

Homer: HEY! thats the half-truth