My idea for future prisons

[ziggyjuarez]

Some one commits a crime,lets say murder.They get 30years.Put them in an ageing machines and make his body age 30years in 1sec.Then slap him then let him go.Less tax,less attacks on people :01:
Youre not allowed to sell this idea to eny companies
it works.i seen it in a movie

[GepperRankins]

but then they wont have got bored, which is what i thought the punishment was :blink:


my solution:
http://www.solo-regalos.com.es/catalog/images/food%20mixer%20brasil.jpg

[DarthInsinuate]

your plan is flawed Ziggy, you haven't considered the tax money that needs to be spent on developing magic

GepperRankins' idea is much better, you could get the same affect from some guys with big knives whirling their arms round

References:
The Simpsons 1615 Future-Drama

[sArA]

Would they die earlier in your scenario Ziggy or just live their normal expected lifespan as an old person?

[ziggyjuarez]

they live their normal expected lifespan as an old person.If they have cancer then they will most likely die from non treatment

[GepperRankins]

they live just as long. it would be fun to throw someone through 100 times just to see what happens :shifty:

[TheYogi]

I say: Close all prisons, release every inmate. :naughty:

Same for asylums, hospitals and shelters. :huh:

Fire all policeman and firefighters. :ohmy:


And spend all the money saved on buying drugs and booze for bums and

corrupt politicans. :wacko:


And Baileys for Lillmiss.............




And Apple for Jpol.





And Southern Comfort for Hobbes.....




And carrots for the horses.



And celery for Chaos!!!!



Cos chaos rules!!!




TheRealThinkerYogi

[GepperRankins]

I say: Close all prisons, release every inmate. :naughty:

Same for asylums, hospitals and shelters. :huh:

Fire all policeman and firefighters. :ohmy:


And spend all the money saved on buying drugs and booze for bums and

corrupt politicans. :wacko:


And Baileys for Lillmiss.............




And Apple for Jpol.





And Southern Comfort for Hobbes.....




And carrots for the horses.



And celery for Chaos!!!!



Cos chaos rules!!!




TheRealThinkerYogi
does this mean no benefits?

[sArA]

It also means no laws so help yourself to what you want! :w00t:










Hmmm I forsee a few problems... :blink:

[TheYogi]

It also means no laws so help yourself to what you want! :w00t:










Hmmm I forsee a few problems... :blink:

Such as???? :w00t:

[GepperRankins]

Such as???? :w00t:
you wont be able to get at anything with your bad back :(

[MCHeshPants420]

Most crime is committed by unemployed people. So I reckon we should lock up all unemployed people and thus cut crime by 120%.

[GepperRankins]

maybe just put cyanide in all the special brew and lambrini

[100%]

@Ziggy - My lawyersesses will contact you for copyright infrigement
of item IKKAZZ.153 "InstaWellDone" developed by bad chefs around the world.

Its mere existense causes crime.

[manker]

maybe just put cyanide in all the special brew and lambriniHow about testing the bad back brigade with heavy weights and flame filled room. If they can lift the heavy weights off their chest, burn them for lying - if they can't, just leave 'em there.

Worked with witches, don't see too many of them around nowadays :sage:

[GepperRankins]

is there away to put landmines in parks that are only live during school hours. that would get rid of a good few chavs

[DarthInsinuate]

just lay them around outside McDonald's, that should get 'em

[manker]

just lay them around outside McDonald's, that should get 'emBut it might also get the people that eat or work there.

Could be a vote winner :happy:

[(>Zero Cool<)]

But it might also get the people that eat or work there.

Could be a vote winner :happy:


only problem with that is they will prob just stick em in the burgers...or create a new 'landmine' special :ermm:

[vidcc]

I think the justice zone from red dwarf is the best idea.

[ziggyjuarez]

I think the justice zone from red dwarf is the best idea.
ziggysystem works just fine (This is only to test sig)

[Gripper]

oi Manker wot u got against witches :sorcerer:

[Busyman]

Some one commits a crime,lets say murder.They get 30years.Put them in an ageing machines and make his body age 30years in 1sec.Then slap him then let him go.Less tax,less attacks on people :01:
Youre not allowed to sell this idea to eny companies
it works.i seen it in a movie
Flaw: he serves no prison time.

Flaw: he may die immediately after aging.

Flaw: What if you are wrong? Does the machine do anti-aging......or do you give the convict anti-aging creme? :huh:

[manker]

oi Manker wot u got against witches :sorcerer:I only dislike the evil ones, I'm cool with the good ones, like Gandalf - he only uses his powers for the well-being of earth.

It's the same with most mythical creatures; the goodies get a thumbs up, the baddies get my distain. Unless we're talking transformers 'cos I like the decepticons.

[DarthInsinuate]

I always liked the Constructicons, just because Devastator looked cool, Trigger Happy was a good laugh too

[MCHeshPants420]

I love lamp.

[GepperRankins]

Flaw: he serves no prison time.

Flaw: he may die immediately after aging.

Flaw: What if you are wrong? Does the machine do anti-aging......or do you give the convict anti-aging creme? :huh:
http://d21c.com/AnnesPlace/Summer2/FishingRod.gif

[Gemby!]

a cheaper alternative would stick them on an island and let them fight for survival :01:

and put it on tv ! :01:

gemby rules !

[ziggyjuarez]

a cheaper alternative would stick them on an island and let them fight for survival :01:

and put it on tv ! :01:

gemby rules !
sounds good to me. Must see tv

[Gemby!]

Why am i not rich and famous yet ?? tis a mystery !

[manker]

just lay them around outside McDonald's, that should get 'emI was walking by Maccy d's yesterday. Minding my own business and I heard a cry of 'Oi, what you looking at' - I turned around and took a pic of the chavs with my phone. One noticed and asked me what I was looking at, I moved closer and said "You, arsehole. Stop shouting at that old bloke'.

They obliged but instead started shouting at me, I started to walk over when they darted into McDonalds and started pulling faces and making gestures at me thro' the window.

I knew I was beaten, so I trudged off with chants of 'That's right, walk away you pussy' ringing in my ears :(

http://img57.echo.cx/img57/2012/chavs3ew.jpg

[GepperRankins]

what happened to his head?

[Guillaume]

Why didn't you go in McD's and bash their (unused) brains in? There was only three of them...
You didn't risk anything it's been mathematically proved. (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/8schweiger.html)

[manker]

I can't go into McDonalds :fear:

I may have only been confronted by three fourteen year-old chavs in the outside world, but there were probably millions of 'em inside their headquarters :fear:

[manker]

what happened to his head?I duno but he was the bravest one, when I was walking over he didn't run away for about a half second longer than his mates.

[Guillaume]

Oh. The alpha male.
Gotta take down that one first. :01:

[GepperRankins]

yeah. go straight for the hardest one and the others won't even challenge you :01:

[manker]

Yeah, that's all very well but for the next time I need a strategy that won't involve going into McDonalds.

My consolation prize was that the old guy who was having a whiff on the seat tipped his hat to me as I walked past in hot pursuit of the chav melee.



I expect they robbed him later tho' :mellow:

[Guillaume]

Yeah, that's all very well but for the next time I need a strategy that won't involve going into McDonalds.

OK. You'll need a van, two thousand pounds of high-yield explosive, a clock, some batteries and wires.
Of course, why you didn't have them with you in the first place is still open to questions... :dry:

[Busyman]

I moved closer and said "You, arsehole. Stop shouting at that old bloke'.
Do you guys in Europe actually say "arsehole" or only spell it that way for posting purposes?

[manker]

Do you guys in Europe actually say "arsehole" or only spell it that way for posting purposes?Arsehole is said like it's spelled in the UK.

In the rest of Europe they probably use a different language :unsure:

[Busyman]

Arsehole is said like it's spelled in the UK.

In the rest of Europe they probably use a different language :unsure:
That's hilarious!!! :lol: :lol:

If I was ever called that, I would probably lmao!!! :lol: :lol:

What I meant was that I thought folks were sugarcoating ass.

[bigboab]

I thought the residents of the USA pronounced it Asshole because they could not get their tongues round their 'R's. :blink:

Back on the thread. :rolleyes:

I thought the French had a good prison policy, separation. Separate the head from the shoulders. :lol:

[Busyman]

I thought the residents of the USA pronounced it Asshole because they could not get their tongues round their 'R's. :blink:
...and apparently UK residents can get their tongue around it? :blink:

:sick:

[Guillaume]

I thought the French had a good prison policy, separation. Separate the head from the shoulders. :lol:

Works with the royals too. :shifty:

[bigboab]

...and apparently UK residents can get their tongue around it? :blink:

:sick:

No we just read their posts. :rolleyes:

[manker]

That's hilarious!!! :lol: :lol:

If I was ever called that, I would probably lmao!!! :lol: :lol:

What I meant was that I thought folks were sugarcoating ass.Yeah but an ass is an animal, an arse is a curseword for ... umm ... bottom.

It's the Yankfolk who are doing teh sugarcoating.

Btw, if you laughed your arse off when I called you an arsehole, I'd presume that you were one :snooty:

[Busyman]

No we just read their posts. :rolleyes:
Well no, your implication is that we can't get our tongues around it.

You apparently can.

I think we are ok with not having that skill. :sick:

[manker]

Well no, your implication is that we can't get our tongues around it.

You apparently can.

I think we are ok with not having that skill. :sick:Ladies love teh rimmage :lookaroun

[ziggyjuarez]

Arsehole is said like it's spelled in the UK.

In the rest of Europe they probably use a different language :unsure:
thats so gay

[manker]

Arsehole is said like it's spelled in the UK.

In the rest of Europe they probably use a different language :unsure: thats so gayI know, fecking continental Europeans can't be bothered to learn a proper language :dry:

[Busyman]

Yeah but an ass is an animal, an arse is a curseword for ... umm ... bottom.

It's the Yankfolk who are doing teh sugarcoating.

Btw, if you laughed your arse off when I called you an arsehole, I'd presume that you were one :snooty:
You didn't so your post is irrelevent.

Ass is a curseword as well so I don't know what you're on about. :huh:

[ziggyjuarez]

I know, fecking continental Europeans can't be bothered to learn a proper language :dry:
But you say ass right?I say to-ma-toe :01: You have to sand up to bad pronunciations and say no more :angry:

[Busyman]

Ladies love teh rimmage :lookaroun
....so that's what you have them do to you......

[Guillaume]

I know, fecking continental Europeans can't be bothered to learn a proper language :dry:
Connard.

[bigboab]

Well no, your implication is that we can't get our tongues around it.

You apparently can.

I think we are ok with not having that skill. :sick:

I was only implying that you cant pronunce your 'R's. :rolleyes:

@ Guillaume, Give us a call if you look like running out off them. There are a few hundred to spare over here. :lol:

[GepperRankins]

Do you guys in Europe actually say "arsehole" or only spell it that way for posting purposes?
arse'ole.

i also correct people who say ass because it sounds gay

[Guillaume]

@ Guillaume, Give us a call if you look like running out off them. There are a few hundred to spare over here. :lol:
I was actually offering you second-hand guillotines. We eventually found out that the royals would wipe themselves out by inbreebing. Saves on the cleaning bills. ;)

[manker]

You didn't so your post is irrelevent.

Ass is a curseword as well so I don't know what you're on about. :huh:Ass is a curseword AND an animal whereas arse is 100% pure curseword.

Arse > ass.

[MCHeshPants420]

Ass is a curseword AND an animal whereas arse is 100% pure curseword.

Arse > ass.


Arse sounds better as well, much more harsh sound to it.

[GepperRankins]

Arse should be said by all at least once a day.

because once arse has gone it'll be nukiller and alluminum :fear:

[ziggyjuarez]

arse'ole.

i also correct people who say ass because it sounds gay
But when youre mad how do you call someone an areshole,dont sound right.HEY FUCKING ARSEHOLE :lol:

[GepperRankins]

But when youre mad how do you call someone an areshole,dont sound right.HEY FUCKING ARSEHOLE :lol:
yes it does! :mad:

if some shouted asshole at me i'd laugh at them and call them a soft git

[bigboab]

Arse should be said by all at least once a day.

because once arse has gone it'll be nukiller and alluminum :fear:


Americanism. :ph34r:

[manker]

Ladies love teh rimmage :lookaroun ....so that's what you have them do to you......I'm damn good but I doubt having teh ladies licking my arsehole would do much for them :unsure:

[ziggyjuarez]

yes it does! :mad:

if some shouted asshole at me i'd laugh at them and call them a soft git
wow.Its like a different universe :shutup:

[Guillaume]

I'm damn good but I doubt having teh laidies licking my arsehole would do much for them :unsure:
More tax refunds?

[manker]

I'm damn good but I doubt having teh laidies licking my arsehole would do much for them More tax refunds?This could be the start of a beautiful pricing strategy :wub:

[Guillaume]

Look, it was just a joke, I don't want any problems with Mrs manker. :ph34r:


Edit: Nice one Boab.

[bigboab]

I'm damn good but I doubt having teh ladies licking my arsehole would do much for them :unsure:

I thought you were supposed to account for everyones taste. :)

[manker]

With all these comments flying about, it's a good job the esteemed Mrs manker doesn't frequent this forum :snooty:

http://moderation.invisionzone.com/style_emoticons/default/bin.gif

[Busyman]

I was only implying that you cant pronunce your 'R's. :rolleyes:
....and you implied that you, as a UK man, could get your tongue around it. :sick:

btw how can you imply Americans can't pronounce R's when with your accent, arse sounds like "oss". :lol: :lol:

I've played a British part before in a small play but didn't have to say arse ('cause I've never actually heard a Brit say it).

[Busyman]

wow.Its like a different universe :shutup:
Tell me about it.

"You oss(arse)hole!!! Whot the feck are you daoing you motherfecka? I'm gaoing to wring yaw neck!!!" :lol: :lol:

[GepperRankins]

Tell me about it.

"You oss(arse)hole!!! Whot the feck are you daoing you motherfecka? I'm gaoing to wring yaw neck!!!" :lol: :lol:
you what?


i reckon we all need to record our voices like we did a million years ago.

which reminds me. i'm now 2 years old

[Gripper]

To hear the best "Arse" you need to watch Father Ted,the mad old catholic alchaholic priest seem's to limit his vocabulary to "Arse" and "Drink"

[ziggyjuarez]

To hear the best "Arse" you need to watch Father Ted,the mad old catholic alchaholic priest seem's to limit his vocabulary to "Arse" and "Drink"
you=voetsek? (http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/member.php?userid=88266) :ohmy:

[Gripper]

No he quotes "The League of Gentlemen"from the that pictureque village of Royston vasey,I believe they they are due to release a film soon

http://www.leagueofgentlemen.co.uk/ weird brit comedy

[yo-gi-oh]

my prison rules just cut off what did the crime!

[bigboab]

my prison rules just cut off what did the crime!

I notice that you are typing and not talking. :rolleyes:

[Lilmiss]

the mad old catholic alchaholic priest seem's to limit his vocabulary to "Arse" and "Drink"


Feck. :01:

[Biggles]

Feck. :01:

Girls!

Oh! and Nuns!!!!!! Feck! Arse! Drink!

[wacko jacko]

I notice that you are typing and not talking. :rolleyes:
I for see a NEW victim :naughty:

[Lilmiss]

Feck! Arse!


Something you're trying to tell us, Bigglesworth? :whistling

[Biggles]

Something you're trying to tell us, Bigglesworth? :whistling

:dry:

I had emphasised the important word. :beer:

[Lilmiss]

Aha, I thought it was meant to be subliminal.
My bad. :blushing:




:shutup:

[Biggles]

Aha, I thought it was meant to be subliminal.
My bad. :blushing:




:shutup:

:dry:

Sit at the front.

[Lilmiss]

At least it gets me out of this corner. :happy:



may I take the "D" hat off too?

[Biggles]

At least it gets me out of this corner. :happy:



may I take the "D" hat off too?

You can take the hat off - but only so I can get a clear aim with duster for any other troublemakers (Gemby)

Any more malarky and detention will be so long you will be booking breakfast. :dry:

I should have taken up this teaching lark (I might have lasted a term - or a week ... or something)

[RPerry]

Closed by request of topic starter :)