Teenaged Daughters Pregnant? Blame the Schools.

[MagicNakor]

Jemma, Jade and Natasha Williams, who receive benefits totalling more than £31,000 a year, are raising their babies alone after they became pregnant within three months of each other.

The sisters, aged 12, 14 and 16 when they gave birth, live in Derby with their twice-divorced mother, who holds the education system responsible for their plight.

"I blame the schools - sex education for young girls should be better," said Julie Atkins, 38. "More and more kids are getting pregnant younger and younger and sex education needs to start a lot earlier.

"If I could turn the clock back I would definitely prefer them to not have children as their education is so important. They've all ruined their lives because they are all too young to have children."

Jemma, the youngest sister, was the first to become pregnant, giving birth to her son T-Jay in February last year. Then, in November, Natasha, 16, who had already had two miscarriages and an abortion, had Amani. The next month, Jade, 14, gave birth to daughter Lita.

Jemma and Jade, who is about to take her GCSEs, are still in school.

The family lives rent-free in a three-bedroom council house, which they claim is too cramped. Their mother claims benefit for Jade and Jemma, now 15, as well as for their children. However, she said that day-to-day life was a struggle.

"It's really difficult to survive on what we have," she said. "My average shopping bill is £90 a week, and then there's all that extra stuff like toys, nappies and medicine.

"The house is far too small. I have to share a bedroom with Natasha and Amani which is very cramped. Hopefully we may be able to get a bigger house, but who knows?"

Mrs Atkins, who had her first child at 20, said she was astonished that her daughters had become pregnant so young. "It just doesn't seem possible," she said.

"I was so shocked when I found out about Jemma. She thought I would hit the roof and didn't tell me for seven months. I only found out when I took her to buy a new bra and as she was being measured I saw her huge bump."

Jemma said: "I didn't tell anyone because I was too scared and didn't know what to do. I only told my boyfriend, who was 14 at the time, but I didn't want to have an abortion.

"He was my first love. He was great to start with, but he's got a new girlfriend now. I was so frightened when I went into hospital to have my baby. It was so painful and I was in labour for three days."

Jade said she had been determined not to do the same, after seeing all the dirty nappies and her sister enduring sleepless nights. But she became pregnant after "a one-night stand".

She said: "It was just one of those things really. I wasn't using contraception and I suppose I just thought it wouldn't happen to me."

Natasha said her pregnancy, while unplanned, had pleased her. "I don't really want to be anything but a full-time mum," she said.

The father, 38, came to see the child "from time to time", but "he's Asian and still lives with his parents, so they don't know about me or Amani".

Earlier this year, the Government's tax and benefit system was said to be responsible for making Britain the single-parent capital of the world.

The Centre for Policy Studies think-tank said married couples on average weekly salaries were only £1 better off than single mothers who never worked and had no contact with the father of their children.

-Telegraph

Just came across this one. I'm not going to post much of anything on it yet, because I've got an hour left in my shift and I'm completely knackered. Subsequently, anything I'd write probably wouldn't make much sense.

Although, £31,000 is aproximately $71,400....

1. Get teenaged daughters pregnant
2. ????
3. Profit

:shuriken:

[vidcc]

I'm not going to comment on the benefits or the winging that they don't have "enough"..This is the low side of what is a caring system.

I will stay with the thread title.

To blame the school is a cop out of the worst kind. Parents have to accept full responsibility for raising their children, not farm it out.
it is the schools job to teach maths, reading, writing, history etc.. etc.. not to teach morals or behaviour. I do however feel strongly that if a school covers sex ed. then it should be comprehensive and medically accurate.

the parent or guardian hold total responsibility for their kids behaviour. If this woman felt so strongly that sex ed should be better and start earlier she should have done it herself.

I feel sorry for these children but I have no respect for this woman's attitude

[Arm]

Stupid kids. Shoulda used birth control or should of gotten an abortion. :rolleyes: Having kids is idiotic anyway. Especially if you havent even gotten out of high school.

Anyone who is opposed to abortion I challenge you to this, you must raise all of the kids of the teenage mothers in the country. Well split them equally up towards all the self-righteus "pro-lifers."

[Illuminati]

It really is a sad day for society when parents expect education to teach their kids about literally everything :huh:

The fact she isn't getting that much in benefits doesn't bother me, as I've seen worse abuse & it seems a little fit as it's a seven-person family. It isn't the fact that she's the mother to (let's forget about the three for now) a teenage daughter, as these things sadly happen.

It's the case that she's pawning the blame to anyone else but herself, despite being the one who's the most likely to influence them against it.

"More and more kids are getting pregnant younger and younger and sex education needs to start a lot earlier." - Course they are due to the culture, but education is part of it - The deterrant from it should also be done in the home as well.

"If I could turn the clock back I would definitely prefer them to not have children as their education is so important." - Notice how she says prefer, not I'd do more to make sure they don't have children


Natasha said her pregnancy, while unplanned, had pleased her. "I don't really want to be anything but a full-time mum," she said.

The father, 38, came to see the child "from time to time", but "he's Asian and still lives with his parents, so they don't know about me or Amani".

A 38-year-old screwing a 16-year-old. It's legal, but shouldn't alarm bells have been ringing then? :blink:

I would go on about the role of education, but vidcc has done it well - The education system is there to teach children the skills for this world. It is not there to teach them how to live in this world, as that's the role of the parents. I was lucky to be in a decent high school and learn this lot in detail pretty early, but there are a lot of schools where they aren't as much cop and this in-depth education isn't going to be possible in them - Relying on the schools to do this is a risky & foolish way to make sure they learn.

The woman's ex-husband was in the papers a couple of days ago, having a go at her for letting them mother children so young. I really despise people who use the papers for revenge or just to slag off their ex-companion, but in this case I'd say he was right.

I think we have a new chav queen. :dry:

[DanB]

The thing is this mum let her kids 14 year old boyfriend stay over when she was 11 ffs.

It was in the paper today that when the youngest daughter had her baby the other two daughters embarked upon a race to see who could have a kid first so they could get some of thier mum's attention too

[vidcc]

If the school assures my daughter that sex is normal, acceptable and expected

Which schools teach this?


tells her that a prophylactic is adequate protection against STDs and pregnancy, then hands her a defective condom, who is to blame for the consequences?

Again which school hands out condoms.


Schools do teach sex ed. If it is a responsible program (and I don't think this abstinence only is) then they will teach ALL aspects emphasising the possible outcome.

That said it is not the schools responsibility to raise our children

[vidcc]

J2

there may have been reports on the news back then (but i was mobile at that period) about some places where student pregnancy rates where out of control but as far as I am aware it is not education policy and certainly not in the case of this woman in the UK.

The handing out that I have heard of was in reaction to a serious problem and as far as I am aware it isn't happening today, certainly not in my sons school and he is in the age group. At no point did those schools tell the pupils that sex was "acceptable and expected". the idea was not encouragement to have sex nor was it condoning the act. it was facing up to a reality.
But what do you consider "handing out" ? is it having a vending machine in the toilets? is it having a school healthcare worker that will hand them out if anyone applies or is it giving all students one?

[Rat Faced]

or is it giving all students one?

If they need them at all at that age... one will not be enough.

If their Sex Drive is low enough that one is enough, its not high enough to actually overcome the obsticles to getting laid.. :P

At least in the UK... at 16 and 17 (like in parts of the US), thats a different matter. (Although 1 is definatly not enough then)... :rolleyes:



In the UK, kids can get free condoms if they go to a family planning clinic. Hell, they can even get put on the pill if they go there. The clinic will try and talk them out of having sexual relations at an early age though.

Or, they can just buy the Condoms over the counter like the rest of us.. there is no age restriction on their purchase.

[vidcc]

They make leathal water baloons so I hear

[MCHeshPants420]

[QUOTE]
Or, they can just buy the Condoms over the counter like the rest of us.. there is no age restriction on their purchase.

The sexual health clinic I worked for we could not give condoms to children under the age of 13, if we did we risked losing our "licence" to give condoms out altogether. I don't know if this is the case for someone like Boots or Superdrug though.

I'll try and find out, I'm interested myself.

[iamtheoneandonlyone]

If you can't have safe sex, why do it? I though teenage kids were smart enough to think that.

[MagicNakor]

Right, well, I'm a wee bit more alert now. Not much, but a wee bit.

Regarding the benefits: It seems like an awful lot of money to be receiving, especially considering they aren't paying for rent.

Regarding the mother's parenting choices, or lack thereof: How oblivious would you have to be in order not to notice your 12 year-old daughter is seven months pregnant? Generally, at that stage, there's no disguising it. The almost 40 year-old "boyfriend" is a whole other bundle of trouble. As for her being astonished her daughters became pregnant so young...if she had *her* first at 20, she would've been pregnant at 19, which isn't "old" by any stretch of the imagination.

Regarding sex ed in schools: vidcc already said it, "...the parent or guardian hold total responsibility for their kids behaviour. If this woman felt so strongly that sex ed should be better and start earlier she should have done it herself."

The sex ed program in my school district is actually very good. The same nurse goes to all the schools starting in the elementary grades (where it's more of a hygiene class than anything else) and continues up through to grade 12. The kids really do get to know her, and she sees the kids grow up. It's far more personal than someone they don't know coming in, and she establishes a good rapport with them. That said, it's not being taught that sex is "normal, acceptable and expected" to children in kindergarten. It's more along the lines of thinking that "if you're going to do it, these are the consequences, and these are the ways to be responsible about it" to older kids. The woman isn't handing out condoms to everyone and anyone, but if the older students ask about it, she will make them available (or give them the information they need to procure their own). She is a public health nurse, after all.

:shuriken:

[DanB]

The thing is this mum let her kids 14 year old boyfriend stay over when she was 11 ffs.

I am so surprised that no one has mentioned this fact yet and you have all centred on giving out condoms instead.

Surely this mother is commiting some form of child abuse by allowing them to sleep together at such a young age? :unsure:

[vidcc]

The thing is this mum let her kids 14 year old boyfriend stay over when she was 11 ffs.

I am so surprised that no one has mentioned this fact yet and you have all centred on giving out condoms instead.

Surely this mother is commiting some form of child abuse by allowing them to sleep together at such a young age? :unsure:

you don't think it was covered by statements like this ?


the parent or guardian hold total responsibility for their kids behaviour

the condom debate was relevent to the mother blaming the school and not herself which is what the thread is about.

[Rat Faced]

If she let them sleep together, she cant blame the school or anyone else.

I notice she claims "They would have done so anyway"..

Well, this is possibly true... when they're gonna, they're gonna.

This doesnt mean she has to encourage it though :blink: she didnt even make sure they were using protection if they were sleeping together, thats not just bad parenting, thats neglect.

So, yes Dan... she should be done for assisting Child Abuse, or possibly charged herself.

She neglected her care in both ways, not just the failing to teach sex education to her kids (Its NOT a school responsibility, although they try.. they cant win on how or when they teach this subject) but also in encouraging the behaviour by default.


Magic, that £31,000 figure includes the value of the free rent/council tax etc.. I think the figure received in cash is closer to £20,000.

[Biggles]

The tabloids love these "moral panic" stories. If one delves through the years or even reads Victorian social commentators one will find identical tales of "moral turpitude". In short this is not a sign of our times or a reason to become a survivalist.

There will always be a degree of variation from the social norms no matter how rigid those might be. This mother will not read the Daily Mail and declare " I see where I have gone wrong". However, neither will she or hers become an icon for our age.

[bigboab]

Anyone who is opposed to abortion I challenge you to this, you must raise all of the kids of the teenage mothers in the country. Well split them equally up towards all the self-righteus "pro-lifers."

Seems like a good idea.:)

Alternately, if they did not tell the doctors what it was they would stitch it up. That would solve the problem. :lol::lol:

[DanB]

I am so surprised that no one has mentioned this fact yet and you have all centred on giving out condoms instead.

Surely this mother is commiting some form of child abuse by allowing them to sleep together at such a young age? :unsure:

you don't think it was covered by statements like this ?


the parent or guardian hold total responsibility for their kids behaviour


No not really.



the condom debate was relevent to the mother blaming the school and not herself which is what the thread is about.

Yes it is but in my mind that takes the back burner compared to letting your 11yr old sleep with her boyfriend.

[Rat Faced]

Dan, if they are gonna they are gonna.

No one can stop a girl when she decides its time to open those legs, there will be a que of boys willing to help her.

However, if she was allowing it to happen in the house (Its Controversial, however its safer than some places i can think of).. she was:

1/ Negligent in not having taught her child basic Sex Education.

2/ In the perfect position to make sure that they were using protection.


She did neither..

Thats how she neglected her child. There is an argument that allowing it to happen in the home was a good idea, if she couldnt change her daughters mind. However by the looks of it, she didnt even try to teach her the basics, never mind change her mind.

[vidcc]

No not really.
why? Doesn't your point come under the heading of what a responsible parent sould do? We have set the blame on the parent...do we have to go into every item of bad parenting?




Yes it is but in my mind that takes the back burner compared to letting your 11yr old sleep with her boyfriend.

Nobody has said that it is acceptable, all we have been doing is staying on thread, as usual it will veer off to related areas but just hasn't done so. There are many parts of the story. The complaint about finance, the complaint that the school didn't do her job for her... and yes the age factor. it hasn't been ignored...simply the discussion has centred around this
Teenaged Daughters Pregnant? Blame the Schools.

We can discuss multiple parts

[claire2005]

this story made me so angery, honestly, yep there is probebly more schools can do, but the sex edd at schools now is at a good standered, you grt free advice plus condoms, and the morning after pill if things happen.
how dare this bad mother blame the school, you dont go round shagging in school do ya, i never did and neither id my freinds. as for them all being under 16 and the youngest 12 well thats just sick, what the hall is a 12 year old sleeping about in the first place, its obvius the mother ahs no morals and that ha s shown in her kids, plz somone tell me who lets there 12 year old out till all times of night in the first place. i think its a discrace and there mum needs a slap for tryin to blame the education system when its her fault for not teaching her kids not to sleep about.

[claire2005]

why? Doesn't your point come under the heading of what a responsible parent sould do? We have set the blame on the parent...do we have to go into every item of bad parenting?




Yes it is but in my mind that takes the back burner compared to letting your 11yr old sleep with her boyfriend.

Nobody has said that it is acceptable, all we have been doing is staying on thread, as usual it will veer off to related areas but just hasn't done so. There are many parts of the story. The complaint about finance, the complaint that the school didn't do her job for her... and yes the age factor. it hasn't been ignored...simply the discussion has centred around this
Teenaged Daughters Pregnant? Blame the Schools.

We can discuss multiple parts

its not accseptable, these 3 kid are on benifits not in full time education, and there mother is as well may i add. its wrong wrong wrong, i dont want to pay for some mothers mess up cos she cant bring her kid up properly, and she was letting her 11 year old ahve a sexual relashinship, thats illegal and wrong, women like her do not deserve kids, i hpoe she is proud.

[maebach]

i hate how people arent responsible to admit anything. everybody tries to blame each other and ti works!

[NeoTheOne]

yea this shit is crazy in my skool this gilr whoz 15 just had a baby 2 days ago lol i mean WTF UR 15 BITCH

[Chanel]

Don't be silly, wrap your willy.

But seriously now, I was taught sex ed. in school by grade 4. It taught me a lot about consequences and responsiblity. Now I never want to get pregnant.

[Peerzy]

yea this shit is crazy in my skool this gilr whoz 15 just had a baby 2 days ago lol i mean WTF UR 15 BITCH

LOLLZZZ A GIRL IN UR SKOLL WHO 15 LOLZ\ZZ BITCH WTFFSS?z? SEE HADZZ BBBY LEIK 2 DAYZZZZ IGO WTF BQQ!11!!!11

On a serious matter personally its not the schoolds fault at all. Its the attitude kids have, they all want to be 'gangsta', 'G'd up' and so on so ofcourse they go out drinking there weak chav juice get mildly pissed and end up doing it on a bus shelter. To be honest theres nothing to schools can do legally, its just sociaty today, either give the schools more pulling power or teach the mothers how to be decent mothers/

:oldman:

[bigboab]

If they are under age mothers put them in care. Put the babies in separate care, unless someone is willing to pay for the babies keep. It is obvious these young mothers are not being cared for properly where they are.:ph34r:

[manker]

If they are under age mothers put them in care. Put the babies in separate care, unless someone is willing to pay for the babies keep. It is obvious these young mothers are not being cared for properly where they are.:ph34r:That's a touch archaic, boab.

Is this to be a blanket proposal or will some 15 year old mums be allowed to remain with their families. What about the father of the child, surely if the mother is put into care then the father should be too. It's only fair.


Kids won't wait til the law says that they can have sex. They'll do it when they want to, unplanned pregnancies happen to adults all the time so it follows that some kids will end up with child. Having sex with a peer at fifteen is commonplace and always has been, to make it punishable in some cases by bannishment from your loved ones is absolute nonsense.

[bigboab]

If they are under age mothers put them in care. Put the babies in separate care, unless someone is willing to pay for the babies keep. It is obvious these young mothers are not being cared for properly where they are.:ph34r:That's a touch archaic, boab.

Is this to be a blanket proposal or will some 15 year old mums be allowed to remain with their families. What about the father of the child, surely if the mother is put into care then the father should be too. It's only fair.


Kids won't wait til the law says that they can have sex. They'll do it when they want to, unplanned pregnancies happen to adults all the time so it follows that some kids will end up with child. Having sex with a peer at fifteen is commonplace and always has been, to make it punishable in some cases by bannishment from your loved ones is absolute nonsense.

I am really sorry Manker:( I made a mistake. I forgot the boys. Castrate them.:ph34r:

[Solvanora]

In my country sex is a open subject. And we have a little problems with it.

If young people have sex its because there is something wrong with the culture. For example, young kids hardly know what sex is till they are 14 unless someone tells them of it. And thats what TV does ALL THE TIME. And the most dangerous thing is that TV does it in a mystic manner and irrealistic way.

So the kids know about sex. You can't get it out of their heads because they will be reminded of it everyday by the tv. So as a last resort we can only try to make the childeren's view about sex a more realistic one. But it's really a last resort because you cant expect such young people to be responsible about something thats so interesting.

To come to a conclusion, in my opinion the government is to blame because they should restrict the sex on TV. (adding bleeps when someone says fuck isnt helping and in my opinion makes it even worse) A big problem in my opinion is the Music Industry. Somehow they figured out that Sex Sells and because they make talentless popmusic and rapmusic - made by idiots who can't spell - that wont sell otherwise. Let the Government step in and promote channels like National Geographic and Discovery Channel and ban all sex and sex insinuation, because in my opinion the government is to blame.

[crysmileyguy!]

there all stupid sluts for not using a condom in the 1st place! blame the school my ass blame there mum for not talking them about it as well!

bitches have 1 night stands then gets money of the council, fucking idiots glad they fucked up there lifes! will teach them a lesson 'USE A CONDOM U STUPID SLUTS' u would of thort after 1 of there sisters got pregnent the others would be more carfull.

u could probly blame it on there underage drinking which they missed out!

[vidcc]

In my country sex is a open subject. And we have a little problems with it.

If young people have sex its because there is something wrong with the culture. For example, young kids hardly know what sex is till they are 14 unless someone tells them of it. And thats what TV does ALL THE TIME. And the most dangerous thing is that TV does it in a mystic manner and irrealistic way.

So the kids know about sex. You can't get it out of their heads because they will be reminded of it everyday by the tv. So as a last resort we can only try to make the childeren's view about sex a more realistic one. But it's really a last resort because you cant expect such young people to be responsible about something thats so interesting.

To come to a conclusion, in my opinion the government is to blame because they should restrict the sex on TV. (adding bleeps when someone says fuck isnt helping and in my opinion makes it even worse) A big problem in my opinion is the Music Industry. Somehow they figured out that Sex Sells and because they make talentless popmusic and rapmusic - made by idiots who can't spell - that wont sell otherwise. Let the Government step in and promote channels like National Geographic and Discovery Channel and ban all sex and sex insinuation, because in my opinion the government is to blame.

So you think the government should be running your home for you? You don't feel that parents are the ones that should decide what their children watch on TV or listen to on the radio?.... people without children should not be allowed to watch the TV they like?

[Solvanora]

No thats not what I'm saying. I'm just saying sex should be banned in daytime tv. All other things should be as open as possible.

And maybe you can restrict your kids but you cant restrict your neighbours kids. And when your kids are at your neighbour's place.... Or they just talk about it a lot.

In my opinion its a problem for all people so the solution should be for all people.

[vidcc]

No thats not what I'm saying. I'm just saying sex should be banned in daytime tv. All other things should be as open as possible.

And maybe you can restrict your kids but you cant restrict your neighbours kids. And when your kids are at your neighbour's place.... Or they just talk about it a lot.

In my opinion its a problem for all people so the solution should be for all people.
Not sure about where you live but I haven't noticed any sex on daytime tv here...what do you class as sex?....

My answer to you is be aware of which neighbours you allow you children to play.

What is your idea then? do we stop children growing up?...... I absolutely guarantee that if children where totally shielded from the "facts of life" they would be able to figure it out themselves....it's called instinct.

[Solvanora]

Not sure about where you live but I haven't noticed any sex on daytime tv here...what do you class as sex?....

My answer to you is be aware of which neighbours you allow you children to play.

What is your idea then? do we stop children growing up?...... I absolutely guarantee that if children where totally shielded from the "facts of life" they would be able to figure it out themselves....it's called instinct.

I live in the Netherlands. And with sex I don't mean actual sex but I do mean videoclips for example. The lyrics are about sex and the visual part is extremely suggestive (wich is great for us grown up kids :lol: ).

And it's a bit naiev to think you can control your kids talking with the neighbour and it certainly would be a shame to forbid your kid to play with certain kids just because their mommy's let them watch mtv (or whatever).

And no we can't stop children from growing up, and that's certainly not what I am saying. In my opinion we do the opposite now. We speed up the growing up part. When I was young (I'm only 19) and was 12 or so we knew where baby's came from and stuff. But that was it. We were interested in kissing maybe, but nothing else. Nowadays 12 year old girls wear strings and seem to talk about sex a lot more than me and my friends did. And they know in my opinion to much, to soon. So I'm just saying we shouldn't speed things up, that's all. Let kids be kids till they're ready to go into the next phase.

[vidcc]

@ Solvanora

I think you would agree that different children grow at different "speeds". I knew about the mechanics of reproduction years before my desires kicked in and made me pursue the activity.
What I am saying is knowledge of sex is different from wanting to do it.
Everyone reaches that stage at different times, some earlier than others. My view is that they should be prepared for when the day comes so that they are aware of the consequences.

And it's a bit naiev to think you can control your kids talking with the neighbour and it certainly would be a shame to forbid your kid to play with certain kids just because their mommy's let them watch mtv (or whatever).


No we can't shield our children from every thing, but it is not the governments job to raise your children. You as a parent should be aware of the places your child goes and the things he or she is up to. It's not easy all the time but you have to do the legwork. This gets harder when they are in their late teens but hopefully by then you will have taught them right from wrong and can allow them their entry into the world of adult responsibilty with confidence.
As a parent you are responsible for that child, not the government.
The only part government should be playing in the raising of your child is in maintaining laws to protect children from abuse and neglect by adults (this covers a wide range of things) and as part of a civilised society make sure they have access to healthcare / education etc...... even then the latter should be subject to parental approval if it involves social issues such as sex education.


BTW. I did grin at being told by a 19 year old that I am "a bit naive" seeing as I have 4 children ranging from just under your age to 2 months...each one an individual...each one requireing a different approach...... Ask any parent. :) Welcome to the board by the way :D
::: father talking to son :::

"Son.... you are 13 years old...do you know about the birds and bees yet?"

"well I can't be sure dad but I can only assume they fuck like everyone else"

[KaBuTo]

What is this world coming to????????

[Smith]

Its not the schools fault, its

A) the parents fault for not watching her daughters more closley and
B) the slut of a daughters fault for not keeping her legs closed.

[bigboab]

Its not the schools fault, its

A) the parents fault for not watching her daughters more closley and
B) the slut of a daughters fault for not keeping her legs closed.

As far as I know no woman has ever got pregnant without the help of a male. So should they not have some of the blame too?

[dodgy368]

Its not the schools fault, its

A) the parents fault for not watching her daughters more closley and
B) the slut of a daughters fault for not keeping her legs closed.

I wouldn't blame the daughter, I would blame the person responsible for her moral well being, her MOTHER!

The 3 daughters should be taken away from this neglectful parent and be brought up by people that don't have the morals of an alley cat.

How the hell she can blame the school is beyond me.:angry:

[Smith]

16 is old enough to know right from wrong, she knew damn well what she was doing and could have stoped it.

The mother is just looking for someone else to blame.