the doctor's

The nurse burst into the doctor’s office. “Doctor! She yelled, “you just gave a clean bill of health to Mr. Smith and … and he dropped dead right outside the door!”
The doctor jumped into action. “Quick,” he said, “We’ve got to turn him around so it looks like he was just coming in!”



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
: At a rape trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what the defendant said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer. After reading the note, the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it among the rest of the jurors.
One juror, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror sitting next to him. He took the note from her and read, "I'm going to fuck you like you've never been fucked before."

The juror smiled at the woman and slipped the note in his pocket. "Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!" ordered the judge.

"I can't, Your Honor," the juror answered. "It's personal."



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the Smith family moved into their new house, a visiting grandparent asked five-year-old Tommy how he liked the new place.
“It’s great,” he said. “I have my own room Alex has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. But poor mom is still in with dad.”

I liked the 2nd one best

nice