A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a“Living Will”
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Albert Einstein's birthday was March 14, 1879. Few remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919.
He stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed. He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection.
It was called Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A rabbi once asked his old friend, the priest, "Could you ever be promoted?" The priest says, thoughtfully, "Well, I could become a bishop." The rabbi persists, "And then?" With a pause for consideration, the priest replies, "Maybe I could be a cardinal, even." "And then?" After thinking for some time, the priest responds, "I may, someday, rise to be the Pope." But the rabbi is still not satisfied. "And then?" With an air of incredulity, the priest cries, "What more could I become? Jesus Christ Himself?" The rabbi said, quietly, "Well, one of our boys made it."
