Just got a parcel off manker (again)

First of all, he ingeniously wrote "Cawk" before my surname, making it double barrelled and ghey.

Turning it over i saw this on the back:
http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/3922/picture48ot.jpg

In short, an apology from royal mail for damaging the parcel (it was inside a clear bag when I got it, the envelope itself was open).

Inside:
http://img83.imageshack.us/img83/9674/picture54ly.jpg
tabs

http://img157.imageshack.us/img157/6127/picture62mt.jpg
jam

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9113/picture71sq.jpg
honey

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9452/picture81wx.jpg
another, slightly smaller, ghey paperclip

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/7...cture107ut.jpg
???

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/4708/picture97ea.jpg
5 pack of razors (2 missing)

http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/9...cture124wb.jpg
burberry womens perfume


http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/5...cture115jn.jpg
chewing gum (one opened)

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/9568/picture143yd.jpg
baccy tin (with two embassy tabs inside, both with burnt filters)

http://img68.imageshack.us/img68/4983/picture155gp.jpg
ghey tea

not pictured:
green highlighter

free tabsFTW:smilie4:

Did he send you a "Teach Youself Photography" manual?

rushed webcam photography: it's the future:smilie4:

note: the postman didn't write cawk on the thing he put through the door yesterday saying he couldn't deliver it:no:

I would like to announce than on May 9th, I'm giving up smoking again. I think CrabGirl is too.

I will have no need for my lighters anymore so I'm generously giving them away (I might keep one for starting fires :smilie4:) - if anyone wants them, and my other smoking paraphenalia, apply here.

That's not how you spell "paraphernalia".

Well it is how you spell it, but you're wrong.

That's not the proper spelling of "paraphernalia".

Damn.

Darn.

Golly gosh.

Flippin' heck.

Cripes and fiddlesticks!