going to heaven

"It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honor," testified the man charged with indecent exposure.
"Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge.

"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman, so I showed her."

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The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven!" Suzy cried out.

"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the preacher.

"Dead!" yelled Little Johnny.