Breeding Cows, Viagra & Talking Frogs

A farmer who's prize Bull isn't doing his job with the cows begins to get worried. day after day the farmer leads the bull into the field with the cows but nothing ever happens.
In the end the farmer is so frustrated that he calls in the vet;
'It's my prize bull Dr.' the farmer explains, 'he won't mate with any of my cows. he just doesn't seem interested in the slightest.'
The vet then examines the bull for some time before returning to the worried farmer.
'Well,' the vet says, 'there dioesn't seem to be anything wrong with him physically so there is only one thing for it. you will have to get him going yourself.'
'I'm not jerking off a bull replies the farmer!'
'not like that,' laughs the vet, 'It's very simple you see, all you have to do is stick your hand up one of yopur cows Vaginas and then rub the juices on your bulls nose, the smell will drive him nuts and you won't be able to drag him away from the cows.'

so the farmer tries this the next day and to his relief it worked the bull was running from cow to cow fuckin them every which way.
'wow!' thought the elderly farmer 'if it works for cows it my work for my ailing cock.'

so that night in bed he waited until his wife was asleep and then dipped his finger in her pussy and wiped her juices under his nose, lo and behold his manhood sprung into action for the first time in years. excited he shook his wife awake, ready to give it to her like never before.
his wife woke up bleary eyed and turned on the light.

'If you've woken me,' she says angrily, 'to tell me you have a nose bleed, i'll kill you.'


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Apparently Viagra have just released a new Eyedrop form of their little blue pill.
It wont help your dick but it willl make you look hard.


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One day a man was playing golf, he was having the worst round ever, balls were flying into lakes and rivers and everywhere else but the green. that was until the third hole when the man was just about to take his shot.
he took his back swing and just as he was about to strike tha ball he heard '5 iron!'
thinking he imagined it the man went to take his shot again. but again '5 iron!'
the man was begining to think this was a little strange but willing to play along he went to his cart and swapped his 7 for a 5 iron, he took his shot and it landed straight on the green.
amazed, the man went in search of this strange voice but all he could find was a frog, a little pertubed the man picked up the frog and decided to take it to the next hole.
on the next tee the man looked at the frog and said 'Well what do you think?'
the frog looked at the man and croaked '2 wood'
the man pulled out his 2 wood and sure enough the shot flew straight down the fairway.
amazed the man decides that this is a lucky frog of some kind and takes it around with him for the restof the day, the man's golf game was the best he had ever played including three hole-in-ones.

after the round of golf was over the man looked at the frog and came to a decision 'you and me are going to vegas' he said
as soon as the plane landed in vegas and they were disembarking the frog croaked 'Caesars Palace!' so the man and his frog went to Casars palace. the man went to the cashiers desk and changed up 10k, all his savings and as soon as he did the frog croaked 'Roulette!' so the man went to the roulette table and the frog croaked '27 black' so the man put thewhole 10k on number 27.
sure enough when the ball came to a halt it was 27 black!

after a little while of this the man is up millions of dollars and decides to retire for the night he goes to the hotel lobby and rents the biggest penthouse suite and takes the frog up there. when he gets to his room he is so happy he can't believe his luck. he looks at the frog and says,
'you helped me play the best round of golf ever, you've made me a millionaire, is there anything, anything at all i can do for you in return?'
the frog looks up at him and croaks 'Kiss me!'
a little grossed out but very grateful he kisses the frog and with a puff of smoke the frog turns into a beautiful, naked 14 year old girl.

and that, your honor, is how she ended up in my hotel room!