Torrent Language for Dummies

Terms

Noob/n00b = New, green, inexperienced, Virgin-like, Or just plain dumb because you didn't read the rules and don't know what the feck you're doing.

Torrent - This is a term used for something you are downloading. It comes in rar'ed files for the most part, and is broken up into parts.

Client - If you go to download a torrent, and nothing happens, it's because you need one of these doofus. BitTorrent, BitTornado, Azureus, are all popular clients.

Ratio - This is a math equation. 2+2=4, 1x6=6. This is not a measure of food or known as a Ration. This isn't the army Soldier! Ratio is calculated by the total amount you download compared to the total amount you share back or upload to others.

Ratio examples... (remember these are JUST examples of a guideline)

3.49 = very good, better than most.

1.67 = good, you are among the average.

0.98 = you have a little catching up to do.

0.46 = You greedy *******! You suck monkey balls!!



Seeding (Seeder) - No this is not knocking some girl up or wanting to spermage all over your desk. You don't need a box of kleenex handy for this seeding !! Seeding means, to share back. When you are sharing your torrent you will be giving parts to various others that you have all ready downloaded. Like a flower, when it pollinates, it sends seeds all around in the wind. Now get to work you Pansy!

Leech (Leecher) - Yes it sounds just like what it is... this person will be downloading off you, in essence leeching your bandwidth dry. Ok, so it's not that bad, but this is a term given to anyone that is downloading a torrent. In bad terms this is a glutton that doesn't share and has a ratio below even their I.Q.

Cheat/Cheater = FFS People! You are getting the freaking thing for free! It's not much to ask for you to seed a file back. Cheating or trying to manipulate your ratio with things is just plain greedy and lazy!! It means you want everything without having to do anything back. Cheaters are BANNED!!! No Questions asked. Cheaters are the greedy types that when sitting in a McDonald's restaurant, you take a fry from them and suddenly you're missing your arm!

Download Speed - This is how fast you can get a file from the internet.

Upload Speed - This is how fast you are sharing back. Despite myths, You cannot upload as fast as you can download. So don't be worried. This is normal.

Zero Upload - If you are wondering why you have no upload speed. It's probably because no one wants the torrent you are attempting to share back. This means one of a few things.... either the torrent is so old that everyone has it by now, or there's very little activity on it. This also means that if no one downloads this torrent after you, that you are screwed!

WinRar - This is a thing you need to open up, or unpack those little suitcases of torrents you now have on your computer. This will open the files up, and stick them all together in one big piece.



Now that we know the basics, it's time to move on to more harder things.





How to Download



Now that you have all the tools, you are ready to find a site to download from.

Choose from a list of torrents. Pick something You'd like to try. For example a movie. You click on the name of the movie and it shows you a page that tells you a little bit about the movie. How big it is, how many are downloading or seeding, a release group possibly, and a few other items you may find interesting such as the format of the movie. (note, try to get something that still has a lot of leechers on it. If you choose something too old you may not be able to get your ratio up, so, at that point you might as well bend over and take it!! )

Any hoo, Once you downloaded and the torrent is finished, If you stop your client your balls will be removed and sold to science. If you are female and have no balls, your ovaries will be given to aliens.

You can still watch a movie while SEEDING back. So keep the damn thing opened and share back. You have to try to establish your ratio (see terms above you forgetful thing) So if your file is 1gb, you MUST seed back at least 1gb (if possible, see zero download term) or even more if you can. Depending on what crappy internet provider you have, and the amount of people still trying to leech the file, will depend on how fast you can seed your torrent back to the amount you downloaded.



While seeding, you can use winrar now, to open up your torrent and extract it for viewing. You may need another type of Viewing tool such as VLC (Video Lan) to view your movie, because MS Media player is just plain old crap at times.

(no surprise there huh? )





Common Bittiquette

Yes I made that word up (Damn I'm good!) Bittiquette is Etiquette .

Be nice, thank the person that uploaded the torrent you are downloading.

Don't ***** if a movie is crap quality. You got it free, and the uploader didn't direct, produce, or even write the movie.

When using a community forum, please read the rules, and do a search first if you have a question. You look soooooooooooo stupid asking a question that has been asked a million times before and it's been answered a million times as well.

Various sites have various rules they enforce or are relaxed on. So always make sure you read the rules. I said read, not scan or skim over them. The rules are there for a reason, and if they aren't followed, a person gets banned. ( I love banning)



When posting on forums, please, don't call the person above you an asshole, or an idiot, or any kind of flame-like term. We have to try to respect others. If you don't agree with something. Tuff **** for you! Proper ways of posting, instead of "what the feck are you talking about??" Try something like, "I just don't get what you are saying" You can 'think "what the feck are you talking about" but just don't post it.

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