some things u mite need 2 know
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A. A Klondike Bar
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
Q. Why don't women wear watches?
A. There's a clock on the stove!
Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.
Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin?
A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.
Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?
A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!
Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
Q. What's the difference between love and herpes?
A. Love doesn't last forever.
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.
Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A. The thief was spending less then his wife.
Q. Why do women have small feet?
A. So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.
Q. How do men sort out their laundry?
A. Filthy, and filthy but wearable.
Q. What's the difference between a man and ET?
A. ET phoned home.
Q. Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?
A. It doesn't need cleaning.
Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.
Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A. Brothel sprouts.
Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
Q. What's white, smells, and can be found in panties?
A. Clitty litter
Q. I married Miss Right.
A. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."
Q. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
A. He's smoking a cigarette.
Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A. He worked it out with a pencil.
Q. Who's the world's greatest athlete?
A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving
Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"
Q. What is the cheapest meat?
A. Deer balls, there under a buck.
Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
Q. What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?
A. The captains log.
Q. What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A. A lesbian with a hard-on.
Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
Re: some things u mite need 2 know
Re: some things u mite need 2 know
Was a time that kids were actually discouraged from having a potty mouth.
Also when exactly did this section become "Bad jokes I got from a Playboy magazine"?
That and I believe the words are "you" "might" and to" .
Re: some things u mite need 2 know
well thanks 4 ur remarks if u dont like this dont read this is the 2nd time u have been rude 2 me so y dont u go sit on a bar of soap and clean up ur act,cuz i will put up with ur rudeness go away leave me alone, that`s MR.Slighfox 2 u IdolEyes787 leave me alone or get me kick off your site.....
Re: some things u mite need 2 know
I'm missing the part where I was rude to you.Could you please quote it because frankly I'm a little slow.
As for being rude,you insistence on defiling the English is being exceedingly rude to humanity.
Re: some things u mite need 2 know
I am not going 2 keep this BS with up u Sir should leave me alone as well as everyone
Re: some things u mite need 2 know
Quote:
Originally Posted by
slighfox
IdolEyes787 leave me alone or get me kick off your site.....
It's not my site.I know this because there is no cycling section and it does not have the San Diego chicken as a mascot.
Also RealitY still has a job. :)
You do realize that PMs like this are like a red flag to a bull?:mellow:
Quote:
Originally Posted by slighfox
go and read ur remarks if u dont like my jokes dont read them i have the right 2 post my jokes ur the only 1 that has something to say out of order and u know what i mean so again just leave me alone sir:angry::angry:
Also as previously stated and blatantly ignored, I never said anything rude or implied that you couldn't post anything you bloody well liked.I merely pointed out that I and hopefully others find the kind of text message abbreviations you use offensive in their laziness and lack of caring,not to mention their lemming-like quality.
Now if you want to continue writing like that then fine and dandydo but just don't expect me to sit on my hands and be silently happy and about it.
Re: some things u mite need 2 know
:lol:
Slighfox, Idol was referring to the video I posted which contained a 9-ish year old (Macky, an expert ruling on this...) telling dirty jokes. He was not talking about your post.
Re: some things u mite need 2 know
Quote:
Originally Posted by
slighfox
well thanks 4 ur remarks if u dont like this dont read this is the 2nd time u have been rude 2 me so y dont u go sit on a bar of soap and clean up ur act,cuz i will put up with ur rudeness go away leave me alone, that`s MR.Slighfox 2 u IdolEyes787 leave me alone or get me kick off your site.....
http://i.imgur.com/HHUuXwc.jpg
