the matrix irc - by enstyne
********************************** THE MATRIX IRC (mIRC) *****************************
******** STORY BY Enstyne
******** Best viewed @ 800x600 in notepad.exe with the screen maxed
********a
******** Please excuse any errors, i did try and make the story as much as possible
******** simular to the real story, although some stuff i may of just forgot or
******** left out because it wouldn't of fit.
********
******** Don't forget to memo me with your comments :)
******** Also check out #cyberarmy on irc.cyberarmy.net
******** That's the place i usually hang out :)
********
******** Enstyne
**************************************************************************************
# Final Note: żG0t* is a trademark of the Chawmp.
# permission must be given prior to use
# by him personally and may only be used
# until his designated żG0t expiry date!
#
# :) lol
**************************************************************************************
*** Connected To Matrix-IRC 6667
Now talking in #chat...
Topic is 'how much wood could a wood chuck chuck?'
Set by leetobastard on 19th of May 2001
--------------------------------------------------
<Neo> hey guys, sup?
<ManiaMan> h1 ne0
<Neo> w4zzz4h
<acknsin> rofl
<Neo> ?
<acksin> lol @ leet speak
<acksin> leet speak is for lamers
<Neo> STFU
<ManiaMan> gonna get back to codin' up dis mofo...
<acksin> rofl... lamers
*** acksin ([email protected]) has parted #chat
<shitserv> whatcha coding mania?
<ManiaMan> oh, i've almost finished my clicker... in perl.
<shitserv> cool!
<shitserv> let me put it on my fserv when i'm done
* Neo is away: sleep [MatrixIRC msglog on] [MatrixIRC pager on]
<ManiaMan> k
<shitserv> thanx man
<ManiaMan> np
--------------------------------------------------
(2 hours later)
** DCC Chat From £"YTR^$%£%£TWSEY$%£$%
<£"YTR^$%£%£TWSEY$%£$%> wake up neo.
<£"YTR^$%£%£TWSEY$%£$%> the matrix has you.
<Neo> WTF?
<£"YTR^$%£%£TWSEY$%£$%> Follow the white rabbit...
<Neo> omg, wtf?
<£"YTR^$%£%£TWSEY$%£$%> *beep* *beep*
** DCC Chat closed
** Query from Tman
<Tman> Hey, man, you there?
<Neo> who are you?
*** Tman is now known as Troy
<Troy> it's me
<Neo> oh
<Troy> got the trojans?
<Neo> i'll dcc them, hold on
<Troy> thanx man, your a liphe-saver
<Neo> if you get caught using those....
<Troy> don't worry man, you never existed
* Neo feels ill
<Troy> what's wrong man?
<Neo> ever get the feeling... that things arn't what they seem, a minute ago i could of sworn
my computer was just talking to me.
<Troy> it's called windows man, it's the only way of liphe!
<Troy> ... hey, man, wanna join our channel?
<Neo> nah, i've got people to sub70rize....
<Troy> i really think you should come :)
** WhiteRabbit invites you to join #rave
Now talking in #rave...
Topic is 'ddddddaaaa dee da de dooooo da dee da da dooo da de da da.. do dee daaaaaaaaaa'
Set by Troy on 18th of May 2001
--------------------------------------------------
<Neo> ......
* Neo hears another pin drop
<Trinity> Hello Thomas, i am Trinity
<Neo> how the f**k do j00 know my name?!
<Trinity> that is something i can't say, you must trust me.
<Neo> are you.... THE trinity, that cracked the irish government's computer systems?
<Trinity> that was a long time ago neo, i used to hack macdonalds.
<Neo> ow.
-Trinity- I know why your here
-Trinity- and I know why, you spend every night on your computer
-Trinity- Your searching....
>>Neo -Trinity-: a/s/l?
-Trinity- no, i don't mean porn, you are searching for the answer
>>Neo -Trinity-: what is the matrix?
-Trinity- yes. I found morphious, the person who you are looking for.
he told me that, i wasn't really looking for the matrix.
I was looking for mad cyber-sex0r
.... He was right
>>Neo -Trinity-: argh, gtg.. cya some other time
*** Disconnected***
The next day.....
*** Connected To Matrix-IRC 6667
Now talking in #chat...
Topic is 'how much wood could a wood chuck chuck?'
Set by leetobastard on 19th of May 2001
--------------------------------------------------
<Neo> crap, the ircops are after me
<Neo> i sub7'd one.
<Neo> omg they are coming.
<ManiaMan> Neo, i've got something for you, i need to dcc
<Neo> hurry
<Neo> 70%
<Neo> done
<ManiaMan> k
<Neo> wtf is server.exe?
<ManiaMan> you must trust me neo
** Connection Established with Morphious
there are ircops after you.
carefully, do /topic #agents
<Neo> shit!!
yes....
you must do exactly as i say without question
understand?
<Neo> ok ok
They are looking at the nicks with N
so switch........ now!
** Neo is now known as oNe
ah, rot1.
stay there for just one moment.
....
...
okay, you need to disconnect, and connect to the second server
in the /links from your server
stay low, and use the bnc
<Neo> done.
there's two channels you must exit. that's #chat and #rave.
<Neo> how do j00 know all this?!
there's no time for specifics now Neo.
<Neo> omg, no way am i gonna reconnect...
there's two ways to stay on this network
that's by evading until they forget.
Or try explain to them and take the risk.
The choice, I leave to you.
** Connection Dropped
*** Disconnected
*** Connecting to Matrix2-irc 6667
(decides not to evade and goes to ircops)
Now talking in #operhelp
Topic is 'find that bastard'
Set by ChanServ on the 1st of Janurary 1961
----------------------------------------------------------------
<Neo> turning myself in
-Matrix2-irc- You were forced to join #interrogation
Now talking in #interrogation
Topic is 'find that bastard'
Set by ChanServ on the 1st of Janurary 1961
----------------------------------------------------------------
<Smith> well mr. neo, it looks like you've been pretty busy for quite some time now.
<Smith> it seems... you've been leading two clients.
<Smith> the first one is involved with jeet hax0ring
<Smith> where you crack into protected systems with leet trojans
<Smith> and deface them under the name of 'Ron885'
<Smith> .... and are guilty of virtually every software crime we have a law for.
<Smith> the other, is a normal j00ser...
<Smith> who even helps the lamers out with perl coding.
<Smith> one of these connections, has a future.
<Smith> i'm willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start.
<Smith> .... my colleages think i'm wasting my time here, that you will not respond.
<Smith> all you have to do, is tell me what contact you had with the international terrorist
called 'morphious'.
<Neo> well, that sounds like a really good deal.
* Smith hmmmms...
<Neo> but i think i've got a better one.
<Neo> i give you the finger
-> [Smith:FINGER]
<Neo> and i make a phone call to your isp for harassment. You don't scare me with the gestappo
crap, i don't have to reveal who i've been chatting with.
<Smith> tell me, Mr. Neo. How can you make a phone-call.... if you don't.. have net2phone?
<Neo> OMG
<Neo> WTF????
<Neo> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*** Connection Reset by peer.
*** mIRC Terminated
..... later on the next morning, Neo gets a phone call
Hello, do you still want to meet securely?
<Neo> whu?
i can't talk long, this line could be sniffed, meet me with ssl at #thebridge
--------------
*** Connected To Matrix-IRC 6667
Now talking in #thebridge...
<Trinity> okay, connect to this address.
<Trinity> bnc.matrix.xion.net
<Trinity> ok?
<Neo> k
-------------
*** Connected to bnc.matrix.xion.net 6667
Welcome [email protected]
----- Welcome to our secure xion server ------
End of /MOTD
.... in #car ....
**** Switch sets mode +zi
<Switch> invite him in
... Neo's client...
-bnc.matrix.xion.net- Trinity invites you to join #car
*** Now talking in #car...
* Neo looks around....
* Switch gets ready on the kill command
<Neo> what's that for?
<Trinity> for our protection
<Neo> from what?
<Trinity> from you...
<Neo> ?
<Neo> i ain't takin dis shit man. stop the car
* Neo prepares to part #car
<Trinity> You don't want to do that Neo
<Trinity> You've been there before, nowhere, you know what it's like
* Neo stays
* Trinity lifts up neo's shirt
<Trinity> Hold still for a second, don't talk.
<Neo> whoo hoo!
* Trinity gets out her special tool
<Trinity> Ok, this may feel weird
<Neo> i hope so
* Trinity puts it on Neo's penis
<Trinity> okay, let's go. :)
---- a sudden humming noise ensues ----
<Neo> WTF?
<Trinity> hmmm, it's in deep
<Switch> Trin, your gonna loose it, let me try
<Trinity> no, i can get it out, hold on.
<Switch> your making it go in deeper
<Trinity> i can DO IT!
<Neo> TRINNNNNNNNNITTTTTTYYYYYYYYYY
<Trinity> Oh yeah! almost got it!
<Neo> marghalarghadarggaaaeeetrgggg
<Trinity> yes! got it.
* Trinity throws the used "special device" out the window
<Trinity> i never thought i'd do that in a limo, lol
<Neo> sheesh
<Switch> okay, let's hurry apoc.
<Apoc> hehehehhe, k
--- about a minute later
<Apoc> we're set up, Neo, goto unknown.xion.net pass: 42 and join #daroom
---------------------------------
*** Connected to unknown.xion.net 6667
* Sent Password
Welcome [email protected]
----- Welcome to one of our secureleaf xionnet servers. ------
End of /MOTD command.
*** now talking in #daroom...
*** topic is 'what is the matrix?'
set by Neo on the nowth of the now nowthy nowthy now
<Trinity> Morphious, someone to see you.
** Trinity has parted #daroom
<Morphious> Hello Neo.
<Neo> you are morphious?
<Morphious> yes. And i trust you have some intresting questions for me, but in your own eyes.
They are rather not quite as intresting as something else. literally. make sense?
<Neo> nope
<Morphious> the way i like it, hehe.
<Morphious> i bet right now, you are feeling a little like alice, tumbling down the rabbithole?
<Neo> sure am.
<Morphious> so you want to know, what the matrix is?
* Neo nods
<Morphious> The matrix cannot be explained, it can only be experienced.
<Neo> try me ffs. I've been waiting for ages.
<Morphious> Okay, For what it's worth, the matrix, is the wool that has been pulled over your
eyes to blind you from the truth. An invisible prison of which you cannot touch
nor taste nor smell. The matrix, 0wns you.
<Neo> huh?
<Morphious> well, here's your options. accept this dcc.
*** Dcc Transfer Complete
*** Dcc Transfer Complete
<Morphious> you execute the redpill.exe, you stay in wonderland, your connection speed upgraded
and you learn just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
<Morphious> you execute the bluepill.exe, your computer restarts, your logs will be gone,
you come back like this never happened.
* Neo thinks
<Morphious> Remember, all i'm offering is the truth.
---- Neo executes redpill.exe -----
<Morphious> good, now let's get started
** Switch has joined #daroom
** Trinity has joined #daroom
** Cypher has joined #daroom
* Trinity waves to Neo.
<Morphious> hold on.
*** Morphious sets mode +v Neo
<Morphious> that file you executed neo, was part of a tracer program, it will allow us to
work your MAC address from inside the matrix.
<Cypher> in other words, hold on to your ass dorothy, coz Cansis, is goin' byebye. :)
<Neo> heh... ?
<Neo> hmmmm, i'm getting lag spikes, is that normal?
<Morphious> did you ever connect to a chatroom neo.
<Morphious> that you were so sure was real?
<Switch> c'mon, we need a lock now.
<Morphious> what if you were unable to disconnect from that server.
<Cypher> hold on
<Morphious> how would you know the difference, between the IRC world, and the real world?
<Morphious> what the status on the lock switch?
<Switch> almost there
<Cypher> got him!
*** Neo has quit IRC (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙./!*..£)
--------------------
---- neo's computer restarts ---
WTF? win32chargh.exe?
*** krenel32: your system has been effected with an abnormal windows virus, suggested action:
erase OS.
deleting c:\windows\ ................
wiping boot partitions ................
removing virus traces ..............
--- a loud beeping ensues, during which the screen flickers left and right for a few seconds ---
*** Now talking in #evachaneza
<Neo> wtf happened? i'm b0rked!
<Morphious> your system is unpatched, we are installing new services packs
<Neo> why do my eyes hurt?
<Morphious> your mIRC has it's default colours, you've never used it before.
<Neo> urrrgh
--- a few hours later ---
<Trinity> neo, wake up
<Cypher> you do say that alot don't you? is it your catchphrase or sumfin?
<Trinity> lol
<Morphious> Neo
<Switch> neo, you there?
<Cypher> hey neo, wakey wakey
<Morphious> Neo wake upppppp
<Morphious> NEO!
<Trinity> NeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeoNeo
--- a couple of minutes pass ---
<Neo> WHAT!??!
<Morphious> welcome, to the realircd.
<Neo> leet
<Morphious> join #shipbridge
*** Neo has parted #evachanezea
*** Now talking in #shipbridge...
*** topic is 'see our newest member'
<Morphious> this is the main channel of my server, evachaneza
<Morphious> this is where i we connect to the matrix and broadcast our pirate raw messages.
<Morphious> most of my crew, you've already met
<Morphious> as for the ones you don't know.
<Morphious> meet tank...
<tank> hey
<Morphious> and his brother, dozer..
<dozer> sup?
<Morphious> the non-opped one is mouse...
<mouse> blah
<Cypher> and together, we are!
<Trinity> shh. Morphious is doing his jeet matrix bit now.
<Morphious> ahem....
<Morphious> so Neo, do you want to know. what the matrix is?
<Neo> will i ever know or will you keep asking me if i want to?
<Morphious> rofl, join this channel, #leetro
<Morphious> this may be a little, elite.
*** Now talking in #leetro...
*** Topic is '...m33p..'
*** Set by evachaneza.xion.net on the 1st of Jan 21??
*** Morphious sets mode +U
<Neo> +U?
<Morphious> un*
<Neo> ah...... (?)
<Morphious> this is the network as you know it....
*** Dcc send complete (matrixnetwork.jpg)
<Morphious> at the end, of the 20th century. MatrixNet, running unrealircd....
<Morphious> A technological wonderland, a network to many millions of people.
<Morphious> this, is the real world....
---- Neo's desktop theme changes to a normal mountain scene
<Morphious> welcome, to the eliteness, of the real.
<Morphious> you believe it is the year 1999 but it is actually closer to the year 2199
<Morphious> i can't tell you exactly what year it is because we honestly don't know...
<Morphious> At the end of the 20th century, man marvelled as he gave birth, to the internet
<Morphious> I don't know much about what happened afterwards,
but i do know that it was us who made the chatrooms.
<Morphious> This was only the beginning, after this people programmed bots.
<Morphious> people were pushing for better and better bots. finally, the bots became sentiant..
<Morphious> They began to think for themselves, the leader was called 'drkplague' and he wreaked
havoc amongst the human users. He eventually combined with another evil IRC genius
called 'khaled' and together they found a way to entrap users on IRC whilst
preventing them from knowing so. he called this method mIRC. Matrix IRC.
<Morphious> For centuries man has been dependant on bots to keep their channels alive,
fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.
<Morphious> i didn't believe it myself until i saw the channels with my own eyes
i watched them kick the idle so they could preserve the active.
<Morphious> The matrix, is a computer generated dreamworld designed to turn the human race...
<Morphious> into this...
<Morphious> Current local users: 1,564,765 global: 21,4053,3593
<Neo> no, your wrong, i was on small servers too
<Morphious> you've been living in a dreamworld neo.
<Neo> no.... it.... can't be true.
<Neo> no, i won't believe it
<Neo> lemme out! i can't quit
<Neo> lemme out! outttt!
*** Neo has parted #leetro (fast disconnect)
<Morphious> ah crap....
*** Morphious has parted #leetro (disconnected)
---- (#shipbridge) -----
<Neo> wtf. no..
<Morphious> neo!
<Neo> no... it's not true, what's that?
<Morphious> neo! just breathe
<Morphious> breathe neo breathe
<Cypher> erm, he's gonna peer
<Neo> no! it can't be!
*** Neo has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
----- some time later -------
*** Now talking in #neoroom
<Neo> urgh... wtf..
<Morphious> i must apologise
<Neo> ?
<Morphious> we have a rule, we never free a client once it's reached a certain uptime
although, i had to in this case.
<Neo> why?
<Morphious> because i needed to.
<Morphious> when the matrix was first setup, a man was an IRCop inside it and had the ability to
./config things as he saw fit, when he died, or4cl3 prophesised his return; ...
<Morphious> the return; would spell the end for the bot's hold over the matrix IRC client compilation.
<Morphious> anyway, get some downtime, your gonna need it.
<Neo> why?
<Morphious> you'll see
*** Morphious has parted #neoroom
------- a few hours later -------
*** Tank([email protected]) has joined #neoroom
<Tank> get some downtime?
<Neo> nope
<Tank> well you will tonight. after this..
<Neo> what's that?
<Tank> your training :)
<Neo> leet
<Neo> hmmmm... wtf? you have no lag
<Tank> yup, good old flesh and blood, hosted here in the real world
<Neo> how?
<Tank> i hosted a server here
<Neo> what is this place anyway?
<Tank> xionnet, the last of the human ircds, in america, where there are still routers...
<Tank> hey, live long enough you might even be able to co-locate to it.
<Tank> i'm not supposed to talk about this but if morphious is right about you then
damn, this is a very exciting time...
<Tank> let's get going.
------
........
<Tank> we'll we've got a few operational basic training programs here
<Tank> but dats major bull fuckin' shit, so....
<Tank> how about, "combat training" ? :)
* Tank waits for it to load
<Neo> smurfing... I'm going to learn, smurf4win?
* Tank winks
<Tank> uploading
*** REDPILL SEND FROM TANK COMPLETE (smurf4win)
<Neo> woah!
<Tank> hey, i think he likes it!
<Tank> more?
<Neo> hell yeah, more l33t toolz
<Neo> hell yeah...
<Tank> comin' right up
---- some time later
<Morphious> how's he doing?
<Tank> he's been downloading for 8 hours... he's .... an oc128, man...
<Morphious> what's up neo?
<Neo> i know winsyn!
<Morphious> show me!
----------------
*** now talking in #dojo
<Morphious> this is the #dojo, a simulated internet combat environment.
<Morphious> this place has rules, simular to the rules on the real thing, such as packetloss...
antispoof... You must remember however that like the rules on the real internet,
some rules can be bent, others can be broken.
<Morphious> now DoS me.
* Neo starts up smurf4win
<Morphious> i've managed to block your incoming icmp type, c'mon you can do better.
* Morphious starts up his oc trinoos
<Neo> aaaaaargh
* Morphious stops
* Neo waits for the lag to die down
<Morphious> you arn't trying, you are making it look as such, I know you are better...
do you know it?
<Morphious> you think that's lag your feeling now?
<Neo> hmmmmm
* Morphious smiles
<Morphious> again!
* Neo gets up.
* Neo starts
<Morphious> much better, i can sniff the hatred flowing through you.
<Morphious> but you are not a hax0r yet neo.
<Morphious> Your weakness, is not your technique..
(Morphious' client) * [CTCP PING REPLY] from Morphious 14secs
<Morphious> wtf?
<Morphious> time to bring out da big shit
---- in #shipbridge ----
<Mouse> guys! quick! Morphious is packetting Neo!
<Cypher> leet!
-------
*** Trinity has joined #dojo
*** Cypher has joined #dojo
*** Mouse has joined #dojo
*** Dozer has joined #dojo
<Trinity> hmmm, they arn't talking, must be some real action going on there.
<Dozer> hmmm...
--- a minute or so later ---
(Dozer's client) *** [CTCP PING REPLY] from Morphious 1min 22seconds
(Dozer's client) *** [CTCP PING REPLY] from Morphious 1min 14seconds
(Dozer's client) *** [CTCP PING REPLY] from Morphious 1min 02seconds
(Dozer's client) *** [CTCP PING REPLY] from Morphious 37seconds
<Dozer> Morphious is coming back.
<Morphious> yep, i've stopped, i w0nx0r! mwhahah
--- another minute later ---
<Neo> woah, you biatch!
<Cypher> h4w h4w! j00 g0t ch-0wned!
<Neo> blah
<Morphious> no matter neo, you will improve in time.
<Morphious> Tank, load the jolt program.
*** REDPILL SEND FROM TANK COMPLETE (jolt2.c)
*** Compiling . . . . . .
*** Loaded
<Morphious> you must focus on your target.
*** joltme has joined #dojo
<Morphious> it's all about faith neo, clear your default values.
*** joltme has Quit IRC (ping timeout)
<Morphious> now you try.
*** joltme has joined #dojo
<Neo> okay, clear my defaults
<Neo> set my options.
<Neo> okay
<Neo> i can do this.
--- Meanwhile ---
<Mouse> what if he makes it?
<Trinity> he won't make it, nobody survives the first jolt2.c execution
<Mouse> i know, but, what if he does :)
--- back in the #dojo -----
<Neo> ok...
<Morphious> damn....
*** Neo has quit IRC (Local Kill by Morphious[evachaneza.xion.net] (ghost))
--- later on. -----
(#thebridge)
<Neo> how come my comp is lagging too? i thought it was the matrix?
<Morphious> your connection makes it lag
<Neo> if you get DoS'd in the matrix, you are killed here too, on your comp?
<Morphious> the client cannot live without the connection...
---- a couple of hours later ----
<Morphious> look around you neo, what do you see?
<Morphious> the very clients of the users you are trying to free
<Morphious> but until we free those clients, they are still part of the ircd
<Morphious> and some are so inurged, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will
DoS, to protect it.
<Neo> woah
<Morphious> we're you looking at this window neo? or were you in a private chat with the woman
in #reddress?
<Morphious> chat again.
--- neo switches to the #reddress chan
*** sexybitch changed their nickname to Agent_Simth
* ERROR CLOSING LINK ([email protected](evachaneza.xion.net ->(Neo(?)) <- services.xion.net)
<Neo> wtf, i wasn't disconnected.
<Morphious> nope
<Neo> what was that.
<Morphious> this is another simulation RAW to teach you one more thing
<Morphious> if you are not one of us, you are one of them.
<Neo> what are they?
<Morphious> sentiant bots.
<Neo> AI?
<Morphious> yes, they can move through any user still connected to their network.
<Neo> crap
<Morphious> Indeed. They are they are the gatekeepers, the guardians to every channel, they have
all the usermodes, and sooner or later, somebody is going to have to hack them.
<Morphious> I won't lie to you neo, everyone who has tried to hack an agent has been /kill'ed,
i've seen an IRCop gline thru a few bnc's, hax0rs have emptied entire clips of
smurfs at them and hit nothing but microsoft, the fbi and numerous other music
groups such as 'nsync.
<Neo> are you telling me i can dodge packets?
<Morphious> no, i'm saying that...
<Morphious> when j00r ready, j00 won't have to :)
<Neo> coo
<Morphious> let's go.
(Trinity/wallops) guys, we got trouble...
(Morphious/wallops) we're on our way.
----- on #shipbridge ------
* Neo wonders wtf is up
<Dozer> kiddies, connecting in fast.
<Morphious> prepare the gecos akill
<Morphious> set +mi in the major channels and warn them
* Morphious waits for the mirkforce to reach potential
<Morphious> go!
*** -evachaneza.xion.net- Dozer added AKILL for *!*@*.lamer.aol.com set on 1st Jan 21??
expires: never
<Tank> we're okay
<Morphious> reactivate channels.
---- .......
