The most amazing quotes in the world......ever!!

k so this is pretty much a thread to just show off you Google (or memory) skills and enlighten people to your fantastical knowledge of the spoken word (or written) and those who's observations have made laugh and cry....

like :

"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." ~Plato

"Friends are relatives you make for yourself." ~Eustache Deschamps

"God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time." ~Robin Williams

"I think, therefore I am" ~~~ Rene Descartes

"A joke's a very serious thing." - Winston Churchill

We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.

Robert Wilensky,

This above all: to thine own self be true; And it must follow, as the night the day; Thou canst not then be false to any man.

William Shakespeare,

"I'm a born-again atheist." ~Gore Vidal

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Kurt Vonnegut

A smart man solves the problem, an intelligent one avoids it - enstein

There's some lesbian thing on the telly so I'm gonna have a flick

Teh wench.

"In a closed society the only crime is getting caught" ~Hunter S Thompson

"Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care." ~William Safire


"I can't imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem"

~Murray Walker (who could fill this whole thread with insane quotations)

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Douglas Adams

“It is bad luck to fall out of a thirteenth story window on Friday”

“Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.”

“Don't judge a book by its cover”

If only...

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas

for bush
An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
ghandi

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7Fz4CgSglg[/youtube]

A witty saying proves nothing. - Voltaire

"Love Is A Dream That Cant Come True"
Me

"Whoever can no longer desire the impossible will be able to achieve nothing more than all too probable." - Martin Buber

If something is too hard,give it up. The moral my boy is too never try anything - homer simpson

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan

Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle. - Ken Hakuta

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided. - Casey Stengel

"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants
to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant." ~Bill Hicks

W.C.Fields

"Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times."

"How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon--and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter."

"A woman drove me to drink, and I'll be a son-of-a-gun but I never even wrote to thank her."

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven."


"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

"A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money."

http://www.upload.ps/280807/aa5d916aa8.jpg

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

-Dorothy Parker

"The smaller the mouse, the bigger the baby"

George Schracta, famous Czechoslovakian cobbler. :whistling

"Always get a receipt on Black Friday"

Busyman, infamous shopper and internet character. :whistling

No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions. He had money as well. -- Margaret Thatcher

"LoooLLLA?"

z50% asking with pleading eyes for something milky yoghurty tasting of raspberries,encapsulated in abottle with a nipple suction at the top.

"absolute power corrupts absolutely"
-zaa730

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
Francis Bacon

Death is not an event in life: we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present.

-Wittgenstein

''When seagulls follow the trawler it is because they think fish will be thrown in to the sea''

-An arrogant frenchman....
(Eric Cantona, day after fly-kicking a 'fan'....)

http://www.upload.ps/280807/fc350b1150.jpg

"He who would give up an ounce of freedom for a pound of security, will lose both and deserve neither."

- Benjamin Franklin

An apple a day is seven apples a week.

~ fstrulz

SSDD -Stephen King (Same shit different day)

Politics -- the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other. -- Oscar Ameringer

The burden of originality is one that most people don't want to accept. They'd rather sit in front of the TV and let that tell them what they're supposed to like, what they're supposed to buy, and what they're supposed to laugh at. : marilyn manson

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fstrulz

An apple a day is seven apples a week.

~ fstrulz

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Wrong, thread. I'm sure there was a 'most retarded quotes' thread somewhere, try there....:dry: