4 points on my driving license

So I happen to be driving through Texas and got pulled over by Texan highway patrol. He didn't say anything, just took my license and came back and said I have an infraction worth 4 points. I didn't even get the, "you know why I pulled you over, son" introduction. Well, since he was a patrolman of few words due to his limited capacity to generate them, I inquired what exactly I did wrong. He bent down, spit on his boot and polished it with his jizz rag, removed his funny looking hat and said, "I was watching the way you drive, and I just don't like it".

You know, I've had OK experiences with some city cops, none but 1 sheriff, and never with highway patrol. What is it with Texan highway patrol anyway?

That was me.

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Originally Posted by chavis

That was me.

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I doubt it, I imagine you don't have the reservation to keep your jizz contained on fabric

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Originally Posted by chavis

That was me.

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Hard to believe since I don't remember mjmacky mentioning that the officer used the word "cunt".

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

What is it with Texan highway patrol anyway?

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I imagine you were giving off that "I'm working on a PhD" vibe in an area where they would pronounce the initials as a word. :mellow:

Maybe it was a case of, "I noticed you're not from Texas, and I just don't like it".

Since hijacking threads it de rigueur here in the lounge......

Hey Alien5! It's been a long time. Nice to hear from you :)

Hey kallieb :wave: thank you, i have been reading your posts, not just your posts but everyone's :lol: i just haven't been able to login for a while.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

What is it with Texan highway patrol anyway?

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I imagine you were giving off that "I'm working on a PhD" vibe in an area where they would pronounce the initials as a word. :mellow:

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You mean he had the intellect of Elmer "Fudd"?

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

What is it with Texan highway patrol anyway?

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I imagine you were giving off that "I'm working on a PhD" vibe in an area where they would pronounce the initials as a word. :mellow:

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Isn't this also the home of the double banger first name (bobby-sue, jim-bob) and cow tipping ?

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Originally Posted by Artemis

Isn't this also the home of the double banger first name (bobby-sue, jim-bob) and cow tipping ?

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Just assume it is, it's the home of most things one should feel ashamed of.

Also have to remember that Texans voted Bush and Perry as their governors, on purpose. They're right at the bottom of the list for high school graduation, women voting, SAT scores and such (and just like everything else in Texas, they go big on the bottom).

I don't want to claim that nothing good has ever come out of Texas. For instance, after I entered Texas, I left it.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

I imagine you were giving off that "I'm working on a PhD" vibe in an area where they would pronounce the initials as a word. :mellow:

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You mean he had the intellect of Elmer "Fudd"?

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You intellecksual types and yer faaannnceeey pronunciashuns! EVERYONE knows it's pronounced Puh-huh-D. Just like it's spelt. :cowboy:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

You intellecksual types and yer faaannnceeey pronunciashuns! EVERYONE knows it's pronounced Puh-huh-D. Just like it's spelt. :cowboy:

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You dun fudg'd up now, we all ready stablisht dashes er only fer 1st names

We call em Jim-Bob after hi daddy, s'either Jim or Bob.

You got me there. PuhHuhD is obviously a last name...Must be foreign, though, since the only ones in Texas are from out of state drivers...

Speaking of which, most of the state should be given back to Mexico anyway.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Speaking of which, most of the state should be given back to Mexico anyway.

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Yeah, but do you really want migrant red-necks living next door to you? Somebody would have to take them all in, and I sure as heck don't want 15 ft. tall trucks blocking my view as I try to drive on the freeway. Don't even get me started on the hat-to-brain ratio... :noes:

Drunkenfuckpoemwoppedwhiskeykissedwords > gerneralizedsterotypicalclichevomits, all day long.


True story.


Word.


-brotherdoobie

I submit to you search results for "Texas truck" via Google image search. :mellow:

I'll refrain from doing a similar search for their hats and brains.

Where is my coat, ffs? I need fresh air.


-doobs

Back On-Topic (could we get a mod to delete those posts from that Redneck Sympathizer, please) :P

You wouldn't want on of them rednecks to move into your town and take your chemist job, now would you, Macky (well, maybe that's a bad example)- but IF you had a job a Texas redneck could do at 1/4 the wage would you want him to take it from you just because we gave Texas back to the Mexicans? Heck, some Texicans are practically American.

I currently make less than most Mexicans. I'm on par with Chineses and Indians.

Maybe a mod could just arbitrarily warn the Texan sympathizer because he is overcome by mayonnaise when reading his posts.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I currently make less than most Mexicans. I'm on par with Chineses and Indians.

Maybe a mod could just arbitrarily warn the Texan sympathizer because he is overcome by mayonnaise when reading his posts.

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Since the head honcho mod is a Texan, you're deeply screwed there....:shutup:

To Mr. Skiz
Texas c/o FST

Re: http://filesharingtalk.com/content/1...on-October-4th

From a concerned citizen


Attachment 87147

It was a legitimate comment.If you and bobbinth were engaged in conversation and he replied thus ,while you might not agree ,the first thought that popped into your head wouldn't be "Gawd he's trolling me".:mellow:

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Originally Posted by Artemis

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Maybe a mod could just arbitrarily warn the Texan sympathizer because he is overcome by mayonnaise when reading his posts.

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Since the head honcho mod is a Texan, you're deeply screwed there....:shutup:

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I know there's a Texan mod, and he's very boring.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

To Mr. Skiz
Texas c/o FST

Re: http://filesharingtalk.com/content/1...on-October-4th

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Not to mention that it's the comments section of a news article. It has to be one of the least read parts of this board (still probably more read than comments on NZB posts). Actually, before they fixed the vB following of article posts, I never read them.

How else was someone supposed to comment on the fact that Apple has announced a press conference (that's news, right :unsure: ) to announce their latest product.

Option #1: Wow, that's GREAT, I want to buy one! I haven't upgraded my phone in almost 6 months...

Option #2: Who really cares? I don't like Apple, and think that their marketing and business practices suck.

The article itself creates the possible views on the subject.

Option #3: Oh man, I can't wait to hear what they have to say!
Option #4: Durrrr, dur dur durrrr dur durrrrrrrrrrr

Attachment 87307

Now that I think about it, I should have went with parking ticket, since I can essentially ignore an out of state parking ticket (San Francisco can't wait to boot my wheel if I get back).

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"I was watching the way you drive park, and I just don't like it".

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Fixed.

Pulling straight into the spot in a hatchback is a big nono. This is how Texans park:

Attachment 87315

That picture clearly isn't from Texas as there's no gun rack.

Also to a Texan that truck is a compact.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Also to a Texan that truck is a compact.

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I believe compact in Texas means you drive a non-Suburban SUV

Attachment 87318

All the red states are the same anyway, you can interchange them with poor intelligence, oversized vehicles, racism... it's just that their funny accents are slightly different from each other.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

That picture clearly isn't from Texas as there's no gun rack.

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I'm guessing he just keeps his rifle handy resting on the seat. If he has a passenger, they can hold it on their lap.

There is also the likelihood that he took it in the store with him. While this may concern people in other states (pun in there, I think), it won't raise any notice unless he shoots someone. As long as it remains a one-on-one shootout, patrons will take cover until its over, then resume shopping. The legal standard for a "Justifiable" shooting is substantially lower in Texas (than say Iraq), and store managers are authorized deputized to make determinations on the spot. Town folk Shoppers are frequently asked things like "Who drew first?", "Did the dead guy have right-of-way with his cart?", and the all-important "Did he look like he was fixin' to stir up trouble?"

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I currently make less than most Mexicans. I'm on par with Chineses and Indians.

Maybe a mod could just arbitrarily warn the Texan sympathizer because he is overcome by mayonnaise when reading his posts.

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How did you manage to write such a fucked up sentence? :dabs:


-doobs

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Originally Posted by brotherdoobie

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I currently make less than most Mexicans. I'm on par with Chineses and Indians.

Maybe a mod could just arbitrarily warn the Texan sympathizer because he is overcome by mayonnaise when reading his posts.

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How did you manage to write such a fucked up sentence? :dabs:


-doobs

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If it may ease the hurting in your head, it was worded that way in particular with intentions. Among these include a hidden jab and a bit of fun on my part.

If you are interested in further elaboration, you could probably point out which 1 sentence you'd like to address (since you quoted 3).

You're correct, sir. I should have replied: "How did you manage to write such a fucked up paragraph?"

My bad.


-doobs