manker vs chalice: Idol Custody Battle Royale.

I should begin, I suppose, by admitting a degree of culpability in this very serious matter. I haven't, of late, been the best of role-models, being something of an absentee fatherly influence to that fully poseable action figure we know and tolerate as Idoleyes. Hey, I've got responsibilities. Shit needs doing and it doesn't get done itself. Get off my back, you murmuring mob of mauve motherfuckers. I'd taken a special interest in the forumular development of Idol quite a whiles back and I'm willing to concede some areas of neglect in that benevolent undertaking.

When first he camest here, this veritable Caliban, subject like all to the initial pinioning and summary humiliation, I grew to glean in him a crooked, dormant potential. This kid could be great, I thought. Given the benefit of my circumnavigations of the block, why, he could be something the likes of which we're yet to experience. I took him under my bingo-wing from afar, and probed and pushed his progress like a phantasmagorical Magwitch to his burgeoning Pip. I generously demonstrated my best chicken-chasing techniques seeking only future glory for him and a vicarious, profound thrill for myself reserved only for the top tennis coaches and Floyd Mayweather Snr.

Alas, a crack has fissured the marble. Something unearthly and untoward has infected my protege, and he's not the champion I blueprinted. I'm attributing this to the Don King types who stalk these waters, stick and carroting my boy with delusions of humanity. Namely, manker the anchor. His maternal magnificence pervades every crevice of this board and his influence is overwhelming, such is his relentless prolificness. He's watering down my fighter with his logic and reason. I honed a Tyson, not a Eubank.

Give me back my killer. Court is now in session.

Legend.

You can have him - should he chose to back-track down the wide and gently sloping paved route I've carefully laid out for his navigation in favour of the precipitous and narrow verge-way you'd have him traverse.

You see, he's not the wild-eyed and callow fellow he once was, gone is the devil-may-care air of a man who wasn't sure where to lay his forumular hat. The longing to belong was already very much in evidence, I simply had to provide some stability and lightly place my hulking post count where his furtive gaze couldn't fail to fall.
While our young hero was searching for purpose, you were too busy with forum tyros and lost causes. Building them up before their inevitable supernova. This high risk strategy has its own rewards and, certainly, no one does it better than your good self. It's to the benefit of every onlooker and does you no little credit.

I prefer to invest my time in longer term assets, mulching their roots with the goodness of sound idealism and addressing their ailments with the soothing balm of shared perspective.
If you'd looked beyond the lip, the Tyson you regarded with wanton ambition was actually a latter day Ali.

While you two sort that out, I'll continue shagging him in the central area of my 1963 VW Kombi whilst wooing him on the idea of eloping without an actual marriage.

Summary of all posts above: Idol has two dads and a molester, and they are all disappointed in him.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Summary of all posts above: Idol has two dads and a molester, and they are all disappointed in him.

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I think Idol's still trying to figure out how to initiate his sleepy entrance to this whole debacle, and here you are trying to give him an inn.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Summary of all posts above: Idol has two dads and a molester, and they are all disappointed in him.

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I think Idol's still trying to figure out how to initiate his sleepy entrance to this whole debacle, and here you are trying to give him an inn.

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All the love in the air drew me like a moth to the disappointed mob. I've got to work on my analogies a bit... :(

As usual, I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

As usual, I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

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My scrotum has become alit on a lantern jaw.

Ew :pinch:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Ew :pinch:

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Oh don't be sheepish.

I've seen the way men have sex in films and it's horrible.

Actually I aspire to be like Snee because he's Asian and I have always wanted to be a ninja and have a small penis.

I'm pretty sure he's Japponese, but only on the internets.

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Originally Posted by Something Else

I'm pretty sure he's Japponese, but only on the internets.

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Then he also drives one of those cool tuner cars and goes out drifting so even more reason for my continuing respect.

The horrible reality is that he rides bikes badly and sets things on fire and keeps pet crayfish or something.

Giant crayfish*

So, lobsters then?

Not lobsters. They were crayfish but they were fucking gigantic.

OK, so lobsters.

Fucking monsters, they were.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

OK, so lobsters.

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Freshwater, so no.

They were simply the biggest fucking crayfish you're ever likely to see.
Hulking, enormous, titanic crayfish.

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

OK, so lobsters.

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Freshwater

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OK, dead lobsters.

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Originally Posted by Proper Bo

Fucking monsters, they were.

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OK so gathering all the facts(Japanese,giant ,Crayfish-like,monsters,not a lot of sense) it's obviously this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2mbsfAQeS4

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Summary of all posts above: Idol has two dads and a molester, and they are all disappointed in him.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K908wGhF5ko

No wonder all Canadians grow up to love the cock. What kind of a show is that to have on the tellybox while you're rearing youngsters.
And they're so brazen about it - even casting a guy called Dick Buttkis ffs.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

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Originally Posted by Proper Bo

Fucking monsters, they were.

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OK so gathering all the facts(Japanese,giant ,Crayfish-like,monsters,not a lot of sense) it's obviously this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2mbsfAQeS4

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Snee is Japanese and so is Godzilla and the relative size of the Crayfish is absolutely spot on.
I'm not sure if it was mentioned but they were veritable behemoths.

Also, the vid was a mere 33 seconds long :happy:

Post of the year. Fact.

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

OK so gathering all the facts(Japanese,giant ,Crayfish-like,monsters,not a lot of sense) it's obviously this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2mbsfAQeS4

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Snee is Japanese and so is Godzilla and the relative size of the Crayfish is absolutely spot on.
I'm not sure if it was mentioned but they were veritable behemoths.

Also, the vid was a mere 33 seconds long :happy:

Post of the year. Fact.

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He ripped the claws off, and clacks them at the fleeing crustacean. Noice.

BTW, Stacy Keanan is about as close to spot-on as any actress could come to Idoll herself. Win and Win. on the clips.

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Originally Posted by manker

Snee is Japanese and so is Godzilla and the relative size of the Crayfish is absolutely spot on.
I'm not sure if it was mentioned but they were veritable behemoths.

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Ebirah was supposedly a giant shrimp, but it's clear that he was a giant lobster. A giant shrimp would be a regular lobster.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

BTW, Stacy Keanan is about as close to spot-on as any actress could come to Idoll herself.

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I like to think that I'm not nearly so butch.

Also Dick Butkis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBumQdwc-tE

Imagine how great he could have been if he wasn't gay.

The Godzilla vs Crayfish screencap begins to look like gay pron if you stare at it long enough.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Imagine how great he could have been if he wasn't gay.

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I thought if anyone was great at initiating man to man contact, it would be a gay.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

The Godzilla vs Crayfish screencap begins to look like gay pron if you stare at it long enough.

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Speaking of bears.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

The Godzilla vs Crayfish screencap begins to look like gay pron if you stare at it long enough.

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I'm no expert on gay porn, having never watched it unless you mean lesbian porn, which isn't really gay as if I was to walk into the room at any given juncture, the girls would stop with the butt-plugs or whatevar and start sucking me off, but I can't see any correlation to the monster fight and bumsecks.

Please elucidate, my good man.

Did I say 'Idol'?

Fuck. I meant mary.

Also, mbm, my missus wants to know where's the best place to get your phoatie taken outside the White House. I need co-ordinates now, dammit. I need to know now. Front or back? Now.

I'm given to understand the the be-weaponed one lives in the Twilight Washington rather than the District of Columbia, like.
Busy's yer man for that.

Busy's yer man for getting her raped. fuck that.

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Originally Posted by chalice

Did I say 'Idol'?

Fuck. I meant mary.

Also, mbm, my missus wants to know where's the best place to get your phoatie taken outside the White House. I need co-ordinates now, dammit. I need to know now. Front or back? Now.

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Tell her to meat me around back. :naughty:

Seems rape knows no colour.

I was going to ask her permission after a bottle of whiskey. :shifty:

Guns, there's a correlation with guns.
Give a man a gun and he'll rape your wife with his cocked cock.