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answers in this section cant be wrong. some of them are meant to be silly. when I said you are not tall enough I meant your nose is not far enough away from your feet. perhaps the next time your nursery class finishes early may I suggest you look back through some of the previous answers.:)Quote:
Originally Posted by dion09529
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigboab
wrong!
because they are stuck in the ass.
Why do I have to?
You really don`t but it makes me smile... oh the scratch thing, because it is a group collective response between host and the lice.... the lice know best so need consultation.
When H.R. dept tells you 'you`ve gone above and beyond' does that mean you are now lost in space and hence sacked without a pension?
the scratch thing. I was taught at an early age to rub salt on the parasitical area. apparently when they lift their wee hands to rub their eyes, they fall off.:rolleyes:
you have confused the penthouse with the paint house. you might not be able to draw your pension you will, however, be able to paint it.:cry:
why do we all reach the belt and braces age? its not as if I/we have anything to hide anymore.
There is no age you have to reach :( We aspire to get to the point where our trousers are too short and need holding up to show our socks.
Why do we conference call when there is nothing to discuss?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYu_bGbZiiQ
they just want to pear everybody up.
why is a house called a building and not an erection?
Call it either, I usually go with home
As Mercury rises with heat why is it still so close to the Sun?
because the sun is cheaper than most other papers.
does a hose pipe ban sound anything like a bagpipe ban?
if everyone had sense we`d drown all the bagpipes in a reservoir and then ban hose pipes so they stay buried
Can I coin a phrase if I only have notes on me?
depends what is written on the notes
what do the Trump children call a fart?
Yes that is just too easy.... Dad.... but you knew that was coming
Do logic gates have locks?
yes, because not many people use them
do Robins know they have an orange breast as opposed to a red breast?
They are usually reliant on yellow. (only works if you are English and watched 'Only fools and horses' and a few other bits)
If my memory lost a bit would I crash or just need a stable 5V boost?
if your memory lost a bit you could recover it if you know the drill (p.s. how would you know you had lost it:unsure:)
if your roof leaks should you slate the builder?
Not sure as I like leaks, just big long onions and good in a stir-fry.
Why do we have post-it notes when you don`t send them?
it is just an excuse to fire the messenger
do paperboys go all soggy when it rains?
No they are not yet of age, but the papergirls do get moist (yeah bit pedo but it did seem just on the line as funny)
If I pull my socks up to my calfs does that mean I will succeed?
no! the only thing that succeeds is a budgie without teeth
if you fall in the street can Thomas Cook charge you for the trip?
If they own the pavement and you are economy then I would suggest yes. Anyway it was probably more fun than you would of had with the kids in Spain anyway so except the costs and claim via some scam site shite that appears in every UK advert
When I climb higher does my weight change?
if you are moving away from the scales, yes
why does you clothes not shrink when you get older?
I suspect it is a cunning design so that we get more sun exposure around the ankle area and mid-rift to boost Vitamin D. Another government conspiracy to save on NHS costs.
Has anyone ever caught a fly when fly fishing?
if you fly fish in this area you are done for poaching
if Eskimos call their houses igloos what do they call the toilets?
Very handy, or maybe just a fishing hole afterwardsQuote:
Originally Posted by bigboab
Does bait ever get it`s own back?
only if it pees against the wind
if you ask for a dozen rolls in a bakers why don't you get thirteen?
Well there are budget cuts which do affect dough.... maybe on a Friday you could get a 13 batch but then you`d be chopped up with a chainsaw
Should we worship our desktop icons? My recycle bin one rates high but I`ve not committed yet
where do you get them from? you should always be aware of geeks bearing gifs
does the winner of a one horse race get all the prize money?
Depends if it makes it to the finish line I guess.
When you can`t grow facial hair does it make it OK to put McDonald's trays under your rear wheels with hand-break on and spin out down at your local super market carpark? Come on you know you`ve tried it before being 30 years the wiser :)
I was born with facial hair, I have, however, turned a car over when I was in my teens. no McDonalds in sight.
if a teenager comes out in spots is he gradually becoming gay?
Hey they can come out any way they like as this is the 21st century but Clearasil clearly hates them.
Would plastic surgery help Morph?
Attachment 174654
I add picture as only old UK people would get the reference :D
Plasticine surgery? I understand.:)
on the same subject would Morph creep up some walls? He would if he was aye screaming. Walls, ice cream, forget it.:cry:
Shite, not sure where to go with that one (missing ref between Tony Hart and Ice cream I think).... yes he would if you throw him high enough :S
Do insects keep out of the rain under mushrooms?
:glag:
yes unless the mushrooms are being fried for dinner. too much at steak then.
why do they put Easter eggs in boxes? the corners of the boxes stop them rolling. :cry:
It is an EU policy to stop the abuse of innocent unborn (by definition) chocolate embryos. Shame on you for trying to roll them, it is not like they are chocolate logs.
Do my video delta frames all contain Chuck Norris?
there is only one frame, that is Chuck Norris
in the electricity stores how many meters are in a metre?
All down to Mr. Farah, many Pico Farahs at least but you may have some impedance
Why do relays want to bounce (we are digging up my early years now :))
...and well done on the Chuck Delta Force link, I thought it was obscure but you are on my odd wave length :)
impedance or impudence?
relays bounce because they don't repair the potholes correctly.
why do dogs bury a bone, is it because we bury bones?
Dogs are saving for a hike in Marrowbone Jelly prices. We just do it because we killed the broker selling Marrowbone Jelly to keep the dogs down
Is a super nova better than a nova? I've had Vauxhall cars over the years and not sure that can be true.
a super nova has a satnav
why does grass keep growing, just to get cut down again?
It is reaching for the heavens and enlightenment, never going to get there but the struggle makes `em happy (suckers)
Where do the fairies live if you don`t have a garden?
a local pub caters for them, there they will grant all your wishes, so I hear.:rolleyes:
where would we go if they closed all the shops?