Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Snap (on the two kids) I don't actually think they hand out certificates for not being a sex offender here, the police check seemed to be good enough... :idunno:
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
They have something called a PVG scheme here - you need to pass their checks if you are going to work with vulnerable groups.
I got it because I volunteer for this organisation called STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Maths). Funnily enough (and in line with this thread), the only event I am currently involved in is a mathsjam once a month in the local high security prison.
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Jesus.
Tell stories about fucked up relatives or fuck the fuck off. The pair of you. Fuck.
Nice story, Art, apart from having a non-presence of horse fucking and relevance to this thread. Every breath you draw pulls you further away from your Scottish sense.
As soon as our kid gets done with Dave, you and your lovely horses are next.
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Sorry, I have no current stories of fucked up family members, though I may have some old ones, will that do?
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Skweeky
Sorry, I have no current stories of fucked up family members, though I may have some old ones, will that do?
Yes. Better be good, though. And better be true. The truer the betterer.
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chalice
Jesus.
Tell stories about fucked up relatives or fuck the fuck off. The pair of you. Fuck.
Nice story, Art, apart from having a non-presence of horse fucking and relevance to this thread. Every breath you draw pulls you further away from your Scottish sense.
As soon as our kid gets done with Dave, you and your lovely horses are next.
The horse fucker is the only really sick twist in my arsenal chalice and he wasn't a relative or I would have quietly drowned him, sadly either the relatives are still in Scotchland where they can't yell at me, or here and decidedly normal so that's about if for this fred, I'll fuck off now....
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Ok, erm, I'll start off gently with the story of my half-brother.
My dad had a son from his first marriage who is 25 years older than I am. They kept falling out and then sporadically either of the two would get in touch with the other again. The first time this happened I was 10 years old, understandably, I was quite excited about the prospect of having a new older brother (especially since I wasn't allowed any contact with my other siblings, but more about that some other time).
A few months later my half-brother announced that him and his missus were opening a new pub. Great news you say? Not quite.
Said pub was actually a front for a brothel. Naturally, my half-brother started an affair with one of the girls and his missus started turning the odd trick or two herself. I am not sure of this, but in hindsight, I think they both had a massive cocaine addiction as well.
Anyhoo, things soon escalated and my half-brother took it upon himself to start beating up his missus on a regular basis, which put me into some lovely situations where I would be sent round to pick up a key from his missus only to discover her face was black and blue and he was holding her hostage inside the flat so she couldn't tell people.
Eventually, the whole 'pub' thing fell down and he was left with a ginormous mountain of debt, which of course, he fled from.
By the time that whole episode happened, the pub was called 'Granada V'. Why 'V' I hear you ask? Ah, that is because that was the fifth time they had embarked on a similar venture, of course each time with exactly the same outcome.
I believe there was Granada VI at some point, but this was after my dad had died and we were no longer in touch by then. Thank fuck.
Not quite as spectacular as your story though chavis - soz man.
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Artemis
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chalice
Jesus.
Tell stories about fucked up relatives or fuck the fuck off. The pair of you. Fuck.
Nice story, Art, apart from having a non-presence of horse fucking and relevance to this thread. Every breath you draw pulls you further away from your Scottish sense.
As soon as our kid gets done with Dave, you and your lovely horses are next.
The horse fucker is the only really sick twist in my arsenal chalice and he wasn't a relative or I would have quietly drowned him, sadly either the relatives are still in Scotchland where they can't yell at me, or here and decidedly normal so that's about if for this fred, I'll fuck off now....
Nowhere near good enough, compadre. Nobody leaves that easily.
Hey, I've got loads. We bred like rats. The Pope decreed it. There's bound to be traffic. I'll start.
My cousin bared her magnificent tit one time when we were playing Spin The Bottle. It rearranged my neurons. She died in a car crash. No, not really.
But I did see my cousin's tit. And nobody can take that away from me.
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Skweeky
Ok, erm, I'll start off gently with the story of my half-brother.
My dad had a son from his first marriage who is 25 years older than I am. They kept falling out and then sporadically either of the two would get in touch with the other again. The first time this happened I was 10 years old, understandably, I was quite excited about the prospect of having a new older brother (especially since I wasn't allowed any contact with my other siblings, but more about that some other time).
A few months later my half-brother announced that him and his missus were opening a new pub. Great news you say? Not quite.
Said pub was actually a front for a brothel. Naturally, my half-brother started an affair with one of the girls and his missus started turning the odd trick or two herself. I am not sure of this, but in hindsight, I think they both had a massive cocaine addiction as well.
Anyhoo, things soon escalated and my half-brother took it upon himself to start beating up his missus on a regular basis, which put me into some lovely situations where I would be sent round to pick up a key from his missus only to discover her face was black and blue and he was holding her hostage inside the flat so she couldn't tell people.
Eventually, the whole 'pub' thing fell down and he was left with a ginormous mountain of debt, which of course, he fled from.
By the time that whole episode happened, the pub was called 'Granada V'. Why 'V' I hear you ask? Ah, that is because that was the fifth time they had embarked on a similar venture, of course each time with exactly the same outcome.
I believe there was Granada VI at some point, but this was after my dad had died and we were no longer in touch by then. Thank fuck.
Not quite as spectacular as your story though chavis - soz man.
Fan-fucking-tastico. to the max.
I've missed your mental ways. True story. :smooch:
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Skweeky
Ok, erm, I'll start off gently with the story of my half-brother.
My dad had a son from his first marriage who is 25 years older than I am. They kept falling out and then sporadically either of the two would get in touch with the other again. The first time this happened I was 10 years old, understandably, I was quite excited about the prospect of having a new older brother (especially since I wasn't allowed any contact with my other siblings, but more about that some other time).
A few months later my half-brother announced that him and his missus were opening a new pub. Great news you say? Not quite.
Said pub was actually a front for a brothel. Naturally, my half-brother started an affair with one of the girls and his missus started turning the odd trick or two herself. I am not sure of this, but in hindsight, I think they both had a massive cocaine addiction as well.
Anyhoo, things soon escalated and my half-brother took it upon himself to start beating up his missus on a regular basis, which put me into some lovely situations where I would be sent round to pick up a key from his missus only to discover her face was black and blue and he was holding her hostage inside the flat so she couldn't tell people.
Eventually, the whole 'pub' thing fell down and he was left with a ginormous mountain of debt, which of course, he fled from.
By the time that whole episode happened, the pub was called 'Granada V'. Why 'V' I hear you ask? Ah, that is because that was the fifth time they had embarked on a similar venture, of course each time with exactly the same outcome.
I believe there was Granada VI at some point, but this was after my dad had died and we were no longer in touch by then. Thank fuck.
Not quite as spectacular as your story though chavis - soz man.
I forgot to mention - we would regularly stop by this place; I once met my teacher in there (I was 11). You can imagine the splash that made at school.
