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racist

...but yeah, I know, that's a mute point :dabs:

Here's where I'd normally try to jump in with something clever, but that point is mute.

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Originally Posted by manker

I was gonna copy and paste that part, but now that you did the point is mute and I'm no gluten for punishment, so I can move along without lowering myself.

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So you are gluten-free?

Yeah you're going to have to send me your Skype for a couple of reasons. The first being such that I can fill you in on fst memes so you don't think I'm a moran and the other is to ascertain that you're a real girl.
I've been caught out before :smilie4:

I'm obviously very internets busy so it would help if we could kill two birds with one stone. Can you please wear a translucent robe or some kind of cape.

In other, more depressing news:
- my kitten got run over last night and died.
- had to send my eldest to the dentist because he had a fall last week and now one of his front teeth is discoloured.

In other, more optimistic news:
- the dead kitten was an excellent opportunity to teach the children about atomic recycling. I even threw in a simplified explanation of Raleigh scattering and why the sky is blue. Those kids don't know how lucky they are, really.

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

In other, more depressing news:
- my kitten got run over last night and died.
- had to send my eldest to the dentist because he had a fall last week and now one of his front teeth is discoloured.

In other, more optimistic news:
- the dead kitten was an excellent opportunity to teach the children about atomic recycling. I even threw in a simplified explanation of Raleigh scattering and why the sky is blue. Those kids don't know how lucky they are, really.

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Poor kitty :(
Cats are either good with knowing about not jumping out in front of cars, or they die. It really is 50-50 whether you get one that's conditioned to survive living in proximity to a busy road or not.
I've had two stupid (now dead) cats, one that is still alive and living with me and one who forgot where she lived and is now in permanent residence with my ex-neighbour.

I have since moved away from the busy road in order to protect my last remaining cat.

Btw, when you said 'atomic recycling' I was like; 'wut' but then I thought about it and I think I know, now.
Anyway. You German child rearers are kinda demanding :ermm:

I could send you one of our cat collection as a replacement skweeky, but by the time it got to you, you would just have to repeat your awesome atomic recycling story for your kids again. I don't think they could handle it twice in one week. :idunno:

Hey what happened with your cat that wouldn't go outside to crap?
I cured mine via the gift of not letting it inside much. She hasn't shit in the corner for over a month now.

Ironically, I am looking at cottages nearby to move to to get away from this road - one of the reasons was to protect the now dead kitten.

Your cat is a mewed point, Skweeks.

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

Ironically, I am looking at cottages nearby to move to to get away from this road - one of the reasons was to protect the now dead kitten.

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You should definitely do it and get another cat. A grey one with blue eyes if possible.
They're the ones, in my experience, who don't die or cheat on you.

A cottage sounds lovely and I didn't realise how much living by a road sucked until I moved.

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Originally Posted by chalice

Your cat is a mewed point, Skweeks.

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:lol:

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

In other, more depressing news:
- my kitten got run over last night and died.
- had to send my eldest to the dentist because he had a fall last week and now one of his front teeth is discoloured.

In other, more optimistic news:
- the dead kitten was an excellent opportunity to teach the children about atomic recycling. I even threw in a simplified explanation of Raleigh scattering and why the sky is blue. Those kids don't know how lucky they are, really.

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Poor kitty :(
Cats are either good with knowing about not jumping out in front of cars, or they die. It really is 50-50 whether you get one that's conditioned to survive living in proximity to a busy road or not.
I've had two stupid (now dead) cats, one that is still alive and living with me and one who forgot where she lived and is now in permanent residence with my ex-neighbour.

I have since moved away from the busy road in order to protect my last remaining cat.

Btw, when you said 'atomic recycling' I was like; 'wut' but then I thought about it and I think I know, now.
Anyway. You German child rearers are kinda demanding :ermm:

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That reminded me of 'The German Joke' wot I heard on QI last night:
A young couple adopt a German baby. He was a perfectly normal except for the fact he never spoke a word.

They had him tested in every different way to find out what was wrong but nothing came up until one day aged five after lunch he says, "This strudel is tepid."

His parents are completely amazed. "What's been wrong? How can you talk? Why haven't you spoken before?"

The boy turned to the parents and slowly replies, "Until now, everything has been satisfactory."

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Originally Posted by manker

You should definitely do it and get another cat. A grey one with blue eyes if possible.
They're the ones, in my experience, who don't die or cheat on you.

A cottage sounds lovely and I didn't realise how much living by a road sucked until I moved.

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That's not true. My friend has a grey cat with blue eyes and it lives with her 70% of the time and her real owners 10% of the time. Nobody knows what she's doing with the rest of her time, except obviously avoiding cars.

If my cat did that, I'd stop feeding her like I did the other feline slut.
Is your friends stolen cat a tabby? Perhaps that's where she went wrong.

I need a like button for that joke, btw.

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Originally Posted by manker

If my cat did that, I'd stop feeding her like I did the other feline slut.
Is your friends stolen cat a tabby? Perhaps that's where she went wrong.

I need a like button for that joke, btw.

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No it's grey with blue eyes silly!

You reminding me reminded me to post it on FB. You can like it there if you like ^_^

Well my cat is a grey tabby with blue eyes. That subtle difference must be the reason as to her cheating whoreness.

Gratuitous pic of cat tiem :happy:

Attachment 121820

If Skweeky had poasted the pic:

Attachment 121831

I just can't get excited about cats. Generally I don't make a habit of spending time on anything that doesn't give a fuck whether I live or die.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

I just can't get excited about cats. Generally I don't make a habit of spending time on anything that doesn't give a fuck whether I live or die.

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Those two-faced bastard dogs don't care if you live or die either, it's just that they feel the need to suck up as they don't have the luxury of catching mice when they are hungry.

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Originally Posted by manker

Hey what happened with your cat that wouldn't go outside to crap?
I cured mine via the gift of not letting it inside much. She hasn't shit in the corner for over a month now.

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The furtive crapper didn't change her ways one little bit, but apart from that she was a lovely cat, she just couldn't handle being one of many (we have six cats). In the end, we placed her in with an older man who had just lost his wife, and was feeling very alone. She loves being the center of attention and is absolutely happy with being queen of her domain and no longer craps to mark her territory.


Gratuitous pic of half of cat collection:

http://i.imgur.com/Q4yX2.jpg

How much torturing was necessary to get them to pose like that?

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

How much torturing was necessary to get them to pose like that?

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Food.....it's called food and they all turn up and sit patiently (mostly) trying to be the cutest so that they get the best bit.

Why have you got six cats? Are you a cat lady or do you actually need them for pest control?

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

Why have you got six cats? Are you a cat lady or do you actually need them for pest control?

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I co-habit with a cat lady, most of them are strays we end up saving. The two black cats in that pic are a brother and sister, dumped as kittens in the storm drain outside our farm. This was two days before christmas so they were an obvious inconvenience with the holidays coming up. The were only two weeks old and would have died in the drain ( it is over 4ft deep), so they came to live with us. The middle one is also a stray abandoned as a kitten by the mother, and similarly saved from dying of starvation.
They live on a farm, 500m from the nearest road and can roam and be happy rat and bird catchers to their hearts content, and with having six the plus is there is always one that wants to be affectionate.

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Originally Posted by Artemis

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

How much torturing was necessary to get them to pose like that?

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Food.....it's called food and they all turn up and sit patiently (mostly) trying to be the cutest so that they get the best bit.

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I had to bury mine it a pile of snow to get it to stay still.

Attachment 121834

Crafty little bugger still tried to move until the frostbite finally started to set in.

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Originally Posted by Artemis

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Originally Posted by manker

Hey what happened with your cat that wouldn't go outside to crap?
I cured mine via the gift of not letting it inside much. She hasn't shit in the corner for over a month now.

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The furtive crapper didn't change her ways one little bit, but apart from that she was a lovely cat, she just couldn't handle being one of many (we have six cats). In the end, we placed her in with an older man who had just lost his wife, and was feeling very alone. She loves being the center of attention and is absolutely happy with being queen of her domain and no longer craps to mark her territory.


Gratuitous pic of half of cat collection:

http://i.imgur.com/Q4yX2.jpg

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I'm really glad you didn't shoot her. I've been putting off asking you.
Your cats look pretty.
I want a farm when I grow up so that I, too, can own six cats.

That is all.

Zomfg, Idol. Your cat is the cutest in the whole world apart from mine.

I'm really a big wuss when it comes down to it, anyone else around here would have ended her long ago, but apart from the crapping all over she is a really lovely (but mental) cat. So I made an old man happy and removed the crapping cat in one maneuver.

I, too, want a farm when I grow up. One that doesn't need farming, obviously.

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

I, too, want a farm when I grow up. One that doesn't need farming, obviously.

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How about we take on Arty and his missus to do the actual farming.

Gay thread is gay.

Dogs are where it's at. I don't have a dog but I would like one. And I would train it to eat your cats :sneaky:

Oi! with the cat lady having broken her arm, I'm already doing double duty around here, which is one of the reasons I pop up infrequently, so if you think I'm going to be your draught horse as well, you've got another thought coming. :mad3:

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Originally Posted by Artemis

I'm really a big wuss when it comes down to it, anyone else around here would have ended her long ago, but apart from the crapping all over she is a really lovely (but mental) cat. So I made an old man happy and removed the crapping cat in one maneuver.

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And it's to your credit.
Another bonus is that Idol doesn't have to eviscerate you and eradicate your Scottish bloodline.

He had his cape on and everything.

How does he stop the static buildup between the lycra in his cape and the spandex of his tights? :blink:

Actually the only good legitimate reason to kill an animal is for Satanic ritual.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Gay thread is gay.

Dogs are where it's at. I don't have a dog but I would like one. And I would train it to eat pussy :sneaky:

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orly

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Originally Posted by Artemis

Gratuitous pic of half of cat collection:

http://i.imgur.com/Q4yX2.jpg

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Cat 1: "I can't, he's not near enough to the stairs"
Cat 2: "He will be in a minute. Just be patient. He mustn't realise what we're planning"
Cat 3: "When he dies I shall feast on his eyeballs"

:fear:

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Originally Posted by Artemis

How does he stop the static buildup between the lycra in his cape and the spandex of his tights? :blink:

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Besides spandex and lycra being the same thing,rubber is a nonconductor ,spastic.

Cat 1 is quite evil and I wouldn't put it past her.

The other two would likely just lick you to death. :yup:

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Artemis

How does he stop the static buildup between the lycra in his cape and the spandex of his tights? :blink:

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Besides spandex and lycra being the same thing,rubber is a nonconductor ,spastic.

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You still haven't refuted that you like wearing rubber.


Fascist gimp.