Re: Letters Of Complaint.
Dear Karmic Cyst on my chest,
your vocation has been fulfilled. Balance has been restored to the universe, you can be on your merry fucking way now.
I know why you appeared initially. It was a poetic punishment, I accept that. That girl who I liked while living in Holland in my impetuous youth. I recall (patchily) that day we spent together, wandering about, wopped out to the willikers. Romance was young and tangible then. As we trembled together in a scabies infested sleeping bag, she confessed to me her fears of a lump upon her breast.
Genuinely concerned, I urged her doctorwards, just to be on the safey. Upon her return, boob in bandage after having had that cyst removed, what a cunt I was not to approach her with words of comfort. Instead, I got fucked up on chemicals with my mates while she huddled alone in a caravan, sporadically twitching the frayed curtains.
Soon after my return, you appeared. As if transfered from her to me. And you've been there ever since. I kept you for a while, out of guilt, refusing that routine, surgery a GP could perform in seconds. I think I've paid that debt now so I'll be expecting you to vacate my corporeal form forthwith, if you don't mind.
Yours humbly,
your deserving victim.
Re: Letters Of Complaint.
Dear pelvis,
I asked you yesterday to kindly reallign yourself and stop causing me excrutiating pain at unexpected moments.
Due to your inability to comply with this simple request you will now be janked into place tomorrow.
I hope you are happy.
Cripply yours,
Skwee- ouch that fucking hurts - ky
Re: Letters Of Complaint.
how will you reallign your pelivs?????
Re: Letters Of Complaint.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chalice
Dear Karmic Cyst on my chest,
your vocation has been fulfilled. Balance has been restored to the universe, you can be on your merry fucking way now.
I know why you appeared initially. It was a poetic punishment, I accept that. That girl who I liked while living in Holland in my impetuous youth. I recall (patchily) that day we spent together, wandering about, wopped out to the willikers. Romance was young and tangible then. As we trembled together in a scabies infested sleeping bag, she confessed to me her fears of a lump upon her breast.
Genuinely concerned, I urged her doctorwards, just to be on the safey. Upon her return, boob in bandage after having had that cyst removed, what a cunt I was not to approach her with words of comfort. Instead, I got fucked up on chemicals with my mates while she huddled alone in a caravan, sporadically twitching the frayed curtains.
Soon after my return, you appeared. As if transfered from her to me. And you've been there ever since. I kept you for a while, out of guilt, refusing that routine, surgery a GP could perform in seconds. I think I've paid that debt now so I'll be expecting you to vacate my corporeal form forthwith, if you don't mind.
Yours humbly,
your deserving victim.
Have to concur with that sentiment.
My wife's greatest grace is her ability to forgive me my shortcomings.
She's quite something. :)
Re: Letters Of Complaint.
It's not a metaphorical cyst, Kev.
It's the real physical deal, imbued by Karma.
True story.
Re: Letters Of Complaint.
I wasn't sure whether he tewtally didn't get it or was off on a tangerine.
Re: Letters Of Complaint.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chalice
It's not a metaphorical cyst, Kev.
It's the real physical deal, imbued by Karma.
True story.
Yes, and glad you're all well, but, I did say sentiment, not ailment.
True story. :)
EDIT:
Truth is, I'm weak for my wife.
It's cool, though.
Re: Letters Of Complaint.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
j2k4
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chalice
It's not a metaphorical cyst, Kev.
It's the real physical deal, imbued by Karma.
True story.
Yes, and glad you're all well, but, I
did say
sentiment, not
ailment.
True story. :)
EDIT:
Truth is, I'm weak for my wife.
It's cool, though.
As it should be.
However, my missus didn't happen along until several years later.
Still, that moment of cuntiness has taken root in my conscience and my body.
I saw the girl several years later and the permafrost I received in conversation, confirmed my guilt.
:(
Re: Letters Of Complaint.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chalice
Quote:
Originally Posted by
j2k4
Yes, and glad you're all well, but, I did say sentiment, not ailment.
True story. :)
EDIT:
Truth is, I'm weak for my wife.
It's cool, though.
As it should be.
However, my missus didn't happen along until several years later.
Still, that moment of cuntiness has taken root in my conscience and my body.
I saw the girl several years later and the permafrost I received in conversation, confirmed my guilt.
:(
You have my empathy.
I, too, have suffered the discomfiture of HIA.
Been years, though. :dabs:
Re: Letters Of Complaint.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tralalala
Slow kid? I can run 100 meters in 9.68 seconds. Fact.
:dabs:
-bd
