Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
Phone childline and ask them for advice. They will be used to dealing with incidents similar to your friends. Best of luck.
Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
I'm no genius when it comes to these things but I've picked a few things up over the years. I know that things get blown WAY OUT of proportion when your a teenager, I'm not saying what's happening to her isn't true, I'm saying the fear she may be feeling about other people finding out will become more oppressive until it comes out. The fact is that once she gets it out and admits to people exactly what's going on it will only get better (especially if she lets the right people know).
I'd say the biggest thing for you to do is let her be the one to open up to someone else, she's obviously been injured mentally and is going to have trouble with trust...it's not going to help that part of her to have you (maybe the only person she's decided to tell) break her trust by going and telling someone behind her back. That being said, it's your obligation, I think, to do whatever you can to facilitate her getting the courage to talk to the right person. Convince her, make her think it's her idea, just get her to open up to someone...I'm sure you both know some decent and cool adult that you can trust and that will be able to help.
Good Luck.
Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
If half of what she says is true then the family relationship is spectacularly unhealthy.
Parental responsibility extends to building, and caring for, strong mental health - this is clearly not happening. While teenagers can feel the world is against them specific acts like being made to kiss her mother's feet are not normal under any circumstance. There is something almost medieval about the attitudes being displayed within this family group. Is there any particular reason for this - social? religious?
I think your girlfriend needs to speak to a child-line counsellor and that individual will be in a position to determine the damage done and if any Canadian laws have been broken and what the best way forward is. In a few months she can walk out of that house and never return if she wants. Indeed, over here she already could at 16.
Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
why would she care? she gotta take care of herself as everyone does, you really think in your illusion that you can trust anyone but yourself? everyone lives in his own world, and you gotta figure it out for yourself, but this is the deep part
the one on the surface is rather simple, she can't take them serious, she gotta take them as humans and nothing more and make her own judgment about herself, this is the kind of stuff that distinguishes good people from bad people in every aspect, altough it may be hard, pity and all on her, guys, she has a chance to stand up and be a mature, happy woman instead of living in ignorance
she's a bless
you can tell her that
Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
anyways, i hope she is fine, just show her what i posted above and trust me she will go trought it, but don't tell her i said this :p
Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JamesBrooke
this is neotheone i just didnt want the trackers picking up my site or anything and the person whom i am writing about reading this ,
:cry::cry: I really dont know what to do with my friend, she has soo much problems at home, firstly her parents treat her really bad, eg some examples (dad wont take her out claiming shez too ugly because of her pimples) (mom makes fun of her backside saying its to big and makes fun of her chest side claimings their too small). She found relief in me (her bf)but then diffrent religion comse into play. She says happiness never comes into her life and she wishes to die but doesnt want to look emo so she wont , i call her beautiuful telling her to ignore her parents and she says parents never lie, her mom makes her get her on kneees and makes her rub her nose on her moms feet to apolgize then gets stepped on the back of her head. I told her to call childerns aid, but she says its bad enough she tells me, she wont want to tell anyone else, and its not like this just started a week ago, ist been going on for her whole life, her mom calls her bald and says shell never get a good husband because shez ugly and hell abuse her, herleg brokle recently but her family made her clean the whole house saying the leg breaking was on purpose to get away from the "worse then servent" chores , the only thing left now is for me to provide some sort of therpy for her, as she wont go to any professional , please i need advice , please help her :( im really worried. there are tons of other things worse that are way too embarrisng to even type so i wont :(
did you notice a slice of what she describing her parents? because no matter how much bad are parents they cant do something like that unless its not their real child, it may be because the girl doesn't like her parents and making up all of those just to achieve something, i strongly advice you not to fall into anything before checking into matter your self.
Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
This isn't so much aboutfamily of origin versus adoptive family..in fact, that is irrelevant. Vid had some wise words. In the US, someone (if anyone other than you) would have considered calling CPS..child protective services. The abuse she is/has been subjected to sounds as if it is on all levels..perhaps she has been molested too?
Another thought...how are you taking care of yourself and your own headspace? Are you? While you are trying your best to be attentive and supportive to yur girlfriend, you have to be careful not to get lost in the mix.
You cannot 'make' her get help. Perhaps you would benefit if yu would consider calling hotlines yourself to receive some guidance on what to do, how to process what is going on. While your intentions are honorable, try to stay aware...are you getting abused?
I wish you the best of luck, and although (at least here), teachers are mandated reporters, as are many people in the 'field', receiving professional guidance seems to be the best path...for both of you.
Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
If she's 17 or older grow up and move away from your parents!!!! Sure yeah, I know this is horrible, but in the holocaust families were instantly split up with the parents and children knowing their most loved one has a doomed fate, and those lucky enough to stick together has to watch their significant other slowly deteriorate, not to mention exhaustion, starvation, and that doesn't even scratch the surface. 6 million people died. In the land of the free, find yourself some guts, and explode out of the bubble your stuck in. Know I know this is the extreme, but when I feel down, this somewhat cynical view of, "someone's having it worse than me right now" always seems to help. Unless you are that one person in the world who is having the worst, though you wouldn't have a computer then :)
Re: Parents Abuse , Mental , Phyiscal, Please Help -- This is neotheone
hey ruthie, long time no read. How's life treating you?