Bad Joke thread - A New Beginning

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Originally Posted by manker

Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom to find his Dad giving his Mam one. His Dad smirks and throws a pillow at the door saying, "Get outta here, you little shit!"

A couple of hours later Dad hears a whole lot of commotion coming from little Johnny's bedroom. He goes up to find little Johnny giving his Gran a right seeing to.

Little Johnny smiles, "It's not so fucking funny when it's your Mam, is it?"

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That's semi-autobiographical isn't it.

Share with the group. Sharing is caring mate.

Hoi! It's no laughing matter.

Paedophiles are fucking immature arseholes.

On second thought, that joke is probably not the best first impression.

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.




Q: When is it bed-time in Michael Jackson's house?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

What did the mother buffalo say to her child as he left for school?...

Bison!

:lookaroun

Quote:

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Originally Posted by manker

Hoi! It's no laughing matter.

Paedophiles are fucking immature arseholes.

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:pinch: :sick:

Anyway, ages weren't mentioned if memory serves.

manker The son could have been twenty and his Gran 80

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Agrajag

Quote:

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Originally Posted by manker

Hoi! It's no laughing matter.

Paedophiles are fucking immature arseholes.

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:pinch: :sick:

Anyway, ages weren't mentioned if memory serves.

manker The son could have been twenty and his Gran 80

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Very true.
I'd been sitting on that line for ages tho'.

Three men: one German, one Japanese and a Texan were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound.
The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped.
The others looked at him questioningly.
"That was my pager," he said.
"I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang.
The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear.
When he finished he explained,
"That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The Texan felt decidedly low tech,
but not to be outdone he decided he had
to do something just as impressive.
He left for a few minutes returning to
the sauna with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind.
The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.
The Texan finally said, "Well, will you look at that? I'm getting a fax."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by johnq86

what determines how the planets in our solar system are ordered?

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder

...it all starts when a mummy planet and a daddy planet love each other very much :lookaroun

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:D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Agrajag

:pinch: :sick:

Anyway, ages weren't mentioned if memory serves.

manker The son could have been twenty and his Gran 80

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Very true.
I'd been sitting on that line for ages tho'.

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:lol:

I'm proud to have afforded you the opportunity to use it well.

Do you see what I did there.