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Oh fuck, I'm probably not going to get a game next year, what with me being old and Bellamy, Ameobi, Kluivert being pretty good strikers in their own right. I'd be a good squad member but I'll quit anyway, bollocks to the team's needs. I think I'll just use my influence over Bobby to get picked this season, break the record and put pressure on Freddie so as I can be manager next year, I'll also study for my coaching badges, he can hardly say no, Bobby is too old.
Then when it became clear he wouldn't be breaking the record and Souness had a pretty watertight contract for next season:
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Ermm, maybe I'll carry on then, only won one trophy in my career so I really need that record - Souness will be in an absolutely untenable position with me being coach but I'll do it anyway - hopefully he'll quit after I've got that precious record.
Alan Shearer - brilliant centre forward, twat of a bloke :dry: