What Do I Know About Your Relationship

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11-17-2011, 10:54 AM
j2k4

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Artemis

Quote:

Originally Posted by j2k4

.......and the hand remains clenched against the approaching darkness.

Egad - that was morbid, wunnit?

No, not morbid, just very Dylan Thomas.

What I meant...
11-17-2011, 05:41 PM
Alien5

The wife Snores.
11-17-2011, 11:48 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by j2k4

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

Why, hello there. How the devil are you?
I hadn't seen any of your velvet glove/iron hand postings around these parts on my week long reconnaissance; if I had, I would surely have added this to my original post:

Kev and The Clockster
In their twilight years, j2 and clocker decided to move to Miami. Although their relationship is purely platonic, they decided to share a one bedroomed apartment, for convenience, in a rather swanky complex just north of south beach. The set-up was much like Earl and his brother in the first three series. With Kev eager to atone for his baby-eating frenzy of the past few decades, clocker acts as his moral barometer. These days, j2 can be seen assisting elderly democrats with their golf swing and gently cajoling newly arrived wet-backs and single mothers to rail against the tyrannical oppression of western values.
The Clockster sits shirtless in his striped deckchair, smiling with approval as he knits j2's xmas present; a white golf sweater emblazoned with a 'Red Kev' name tag.

I had earlier constructed a lovely greeting with a nostalgic riposte and biting retort...don't know what happened to the damn thing, though.

Is there a new button needs pressing or something else.

How are you, my friend?

Today I am once again a new Grandpa.

Little Bentleigh Rose has joined us.

The velvet is new, thanks, and the hand remains clenched against the approaching darkness.

Egad - that was morbid, wunnit?

:)

Ah - just realized I missed my 9th anny, here.

How about that.

That's fantastic news, I trust mother and baby are doing well.
Bentleigh Rose is possibly the poshest name I've ever heard. And I'm Welsh. Your daughter gets props for that.

I'm glad to hear everything is in order in chez-kev, and I'm very well too, thank you for asking.
Although a certain part of your prose did just elicit a double eyebrow raise.
'The velvet is new, thanks, and the hand remains clenched against the approaching darkness.'

I don't know about morbid but it did make me think that you were battling goatse :huh:
11-18-2011, 01:29 AM
j2k4

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

[QUOTE=manker;3628163]

Quote:

Originally Posted by j2k4

I had earlier constructed a lovely greeting with a nostalgic riposte and biting retort...don't know what happened to the damn thing, though.

Is there a new button needs pressing or something else.

How are you, my friend?

Today I am once again a new Grandpa.

Little Bentleigh Rose has joined us.

The velvet is new, thanks, and the hand remains clenched against the approaching darkness.

Egad - that was morbid, wunnit?

:)

Ah - just realized I missed my 9th anny, here.

How about that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

That's fantastic news, I trust mother and baby are doing well.

Indeed they are. Born 5 weeks early, but both fine.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

Bentleigh Rose is possibly the poshest name I've ever heard. And I'm Welsh. Your daughter gets props for that.

I helped a bit with the spelling - didn't ever want my little girl to have to explain why she was named after an automobile, even if it were a noice one.

Funny, too, how the best part of me is the smaller-bits-o-Blighty part right in the middle of my otherwise-Teutonic arse.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

I'm glad to hear everything is in order in chez-kev, and I'm very well too, thank you for asking.
Although a certain part of your prose did just elicit a double eyebrow raise.
'The velvet is new, thanks, and the hand remains clenched against the approaching darkness.'

I don't know about morbid but it did make me think that you were battling goatse :huh:

Nah, just a nod to the opposition.

No worries - for the moment, anyway.

On to you, then:

Where have you been, and doing what to whom?
11-18-2011, 11:12 PM
Squeamous

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjmacky

I know the written form doesn't produce audible stimuli, but in the figurative sense, you are not very quiet.

Ah well, to be honest I tend to concentrate more on the skulking and the judging anyway. The quietness was just a vanity project.

Quote:

Originally Posted by j2k4

Today I am once again a new Grandpa.

Little Bentleigh Rose has joined us.

Congratulations Kev! x
11-18-2011, 11:49 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by j2k4

Funny, too, how the best part of me is the smaller-bits-o-Blighty part right in the middle of my otherwise-Teutonic arse.

Again with the goatse :pinch:

Quote:

Originally Posted by j2k4

Nah, just a nod to the opposition.

No worries - for the moment, anyway.

On to you, then:

Where have you been, and doing what to whom?

I haven't been doing a lot differently, as it happens. Still bean-counting and blazing a trail for practical gift-giving.

I still like it here and I would appreciate it if people posted more stuff. It doesn't matter if they're different people to the ones I'd grown used to. Just people.
Please make it so, mein kamerad.
11-19-2011, 01:06 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

blazing a trail for practical gift-giving.

I attempted this with a yorkshire pudding oven tray thing for the wench a few years ago for xmas, it didn't go down well.
Perhaps it has to be something chrome plated:unsure:
11-19-2011, 02:36 PM
j2k4

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Quote:

Originally Posted by j2k4

Today I am once again a new Grandpa.

Little Bentleigh Rose has joined us.

Congratulations Kev! x

Why, thank you, ma'am. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

Again with the goatse :pinch:

Quote:

Originally Posted by j2k4

Nah, just a nod to the opposition.

No worries - for the moment, anyway.

On to you, then:

Where have you been, and doing what to whom?

I haven't been doing a lot differently, as it happens. Still bean-counting and blazing a trail for practical gift-giving.

I still like it here and I would appreciate it if people posted more stuff. It doesn't matter if they're different people to the ones I'd grown used to. Just people.
Please make it so, mein kamerad.

I'm trying, really - this time of year I get so busy I don't know whether to shit or go blind.

JayPee has been seen here recently, btw.
11-19-2011, 02:44 PM
Biggles

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

blazing a trail for practical gift-giving.

I attempted this with a yorkshire pudding oven tray thing for the wench a few years ago for xmas, it didn't go down well.
Perhaps it has to be something chrome plated:unsure:

That was remarkably brave (or suicidal).

Chrome apparently makes it OK though....it's what I've heard.
11-19-2011, 03:08 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biggles

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

I attempted this with a yorkshire pudding oven tray thing for the wench a few years ago for xmas, it didn't go down well.
Perhaps it has to be something chrome plated:unsure:

That was remarkably brave (or suicidal).

Chrome apparently makes it OK though....it's what I've heard.

Hmm, I'm wondering how she'll react to this year's secrect kitchen related xmas present cause it's not chrome:pinch:
11-19-2011, 03:25 PM
Biggles

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biggles

That was remarkably brave (or suicidal).

Chrome apparently makes it OK though....it's what I've heard.

Hmm, I'm wondering how she'll react to this year's secrect kitchen related xmas present cause it's not chrome:pinch:

Might be safer to include a framed picture of the Toon squad as well - to soften the bow.
11-19-2011, 03:27 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

It's more of a stick than a bow, like:pinch:
11-19-2011, 03:30 PM
Biggles

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

It's more of a stick than a bow, like:pinch:

Oops a wee typo Freudian slip whatnot thingy there. :)
11-19-2011, 03:55 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

wtf, real men go xmas shopping on xmas eve morning with a hang over. poove.

I bet you've sold the mondeo and got like a dozen coats now.
11-19-2011, 03:57 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

wtf, real men go xmas shopping on xmas eve morning with a hang over. poove.

I bet you've sold the mondeo and got like a dozen coats now.

the mondeo went years ago:lol:

got a civic now, like. It's no hairdresser car but it'll do for me, like.
11-19-2011, 03:58 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

I did have two coats for a while but they were wurk issue. I did still wander about in short sleeves in the snow still tho'.
11-19-2011, 04:09 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

If they're the ones where you get a Type R sometimes, then my sister's got one of those.

I ~~don't have~~ never had a hairdressers' car ~~anymore~~ btw :snooty:
11-19-2011, 04:11 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

You do indeed get a civic type R, mine's just the lowly 1.7 turbo diesel. Needed something cheap to insure what with me being young and stuff.
I did get an ecu remap done tho':smilie4:
11-19-2011, 04:12 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

what gheyness are you driving these days?
I bet it's a smart car or something equally gay:smilie4:
11-19-2011, 04:12 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

I've chav'd it up tho':smilie4:

fixed
11-19-2011, 04:13 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

I've chav'd it up tho':smilie4:

fixed

far from it, charvy types stick plastic spoilers and shiny silver bits from halfords on their cars, mine has none of that. I just had the engine management tweaked to give me more horsepower and torque:snooty:
11-19-2011, 04:13 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

what gheyness are you driving these days?
I bet it's a smart car or something equally gay:smilie4:

A ghey as fuck audi tt
11-19-2011, 04:14 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

what gheyness are you driving these days?
I bet it's a smart car or something equally gay:smilie4:

A ghey as fuck audi tt

:lol::earl:
I should have guessed:pinch:
11-19-2011, 04:15 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

fixed

far from it, charvy types stick plastic spoilers and shiny silver bits from halfords on their cars, mine has none of that. I just had the engine management tweaked to give me more horsepower and torque:snooty:

If ecu didn't mean european currency unit, i was a bit at a loss, tbh :unsure:
11-19-2011, 04:16 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

A ghey as fuck audi tt

:lol::earl:
I should have guessed:pinch:

but but but, it's so pretty to look at
11-19-2011, 04:16 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

Originally Posted by Proper Bo

far from it, charvy types stick plastic spoilers and shiny silver bits from halfords on their cars, mine has none of that. I just had the engine management tweaked to give me more horsepower and torque:snooty:

If ecu didn't mean european currency unit, i was a bit at a loss, tbh :unsure:

see my previous response
11-19-2011, 04:20 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

And it completely pwns my sister at the lights every time, much to her chagrin :happy:
11-19-2011, 04:22 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

I'm guessing hers isn't a Type R then, or she's driving it badly.
I'm also assuming you went for the pishiest engined TT, like.
11-19-2011, 04:27 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

No, she has a Type R and for some reason is particularly proud of the chavvy red 'type r' badges that are on everything from the seat-belts to the glove compartment.

I've no idea what the engine is like on mine. They don't put it on the back any more :no:
Apparently 'Quattro' means 4wd though :smilie4:
11-19-2011, 04:30 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

No, she has a Type R and for some reason is particularly proud of the chavvy red 'type r' badges that are on everything from the seat-belts to the ~~glove compartment~~ glovebox.

I've no idea what the engine is like on mine. They don't put it on the back any more :no:
Apparently 'Quattro' means 4wd though :smilie4:

I agree about the type r badges all over the place looking charvy as fuck, like.
don't you worry yourself about your engine, you just make sure that shiny silver paintwork keeps sparkling in the sun :kiss:
(is it silver? I imagine it is, that or white.)
11-19-2011, 04:35 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Ibis white.
Audi do this special white that's different from any other whites. It played a bit part in the purchase decision :smilie4:
11-19-2011, 04:36 PM
Proper Bo

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

White cars are soooo 2009:no:
11-19-2011, 05:13 PM
Alien5

Bc
11-19-2011, 06:14 PM
brotherdoobie

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

My ~~life~~ wife is a bit meh, atm. I don't want to feel this way, but ...

-doobs :dabs:
11-19-2011, 07:20 PM
Alien5

Same here, nicking my toast is not on. How difficult is it to make toast.
11-20-2011, 11:22 PM
Squeamous

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by brotherdoobie

My ~~life~~ wife is a bit meh, atm. I don't want to feel this way, but ...

-doobs :dabs:

Perhaps something shiny for the kitchen would improve her demeanour?
11-21-2011, 10:29 PM
Biggles

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Quote:

Originally Posted by brotherdoobie

My ~~life~~ wife is a bit meh, atm. I don't want to feel this way, but ...

-doobs :dabs:

Perhaps something shiny for the kitchen would improve her demeanour?

Tin foil?
11-21-2011, 10:53 PM
manker

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Jebus, you haven't got the first clue about practical gift giving.
It's an essential technique to placate your good lady during her more delicate time of the month. And xmas.

It has to be chrome, phallic and durable.
11-21-2011, 11:13 PM
Biggles

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

Jebus, you haven't got the first clue about practical gift giving.
It's an essential technique to placate your good lady during her more delicate time of the month. And xmas.

It has to be chrome, phallic and durable.

A box of tin foil is longer than it is wide*

*See Melanie video Psychotherapy
11-21-2011, 11:27 PM
megabyteme

Re: What Do I Know About Your Relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by manker

Jebus, you haven't got the first clue about practical gift giving.
It's an essential technique to placate your good lady during her more delicate time of the month. And xmas.

It has to be chrome, phallic and durable.

:unsure:

http://i44.tinypic.com/10fq1eh.jpg

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