Was I propositioned by a street walker?

Imma have to go advanced to deal with this bad boy :O

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

The point was, Clive Owen in a black leather jacket and a t-shirt can still pull off a sharp look. His character was a chauffeur, so to speak, for the sake of the BMW Films campaign. I want to be Clive Owen, but I want to also keep my penis; that way, Clive Owen's hands could handle my penis.

---

And of course, that way you wouldn't have to be be present while a man was handling his own. That my friend is why you're a scientist and not an accountant or something else.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

I do it as a service to others who bother to even read my posts. I'm, at times, hard enough to follow without putting forth a multifaceted mass of text. I've added to the multi-quote complexity of this reply, perhaps to make it more difficult to follow-up.

---

:dry:
Nice try but I'm still here.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

What else would a young strapping uneducated lad be doing for income? I was also a telemarketer, I used to drive away from work screaming in my car for a straight 15 minutes. I have literally killed my voice several times. It was also the beginning of a streamlined path towards misanthropy for me. After that, I delivered pizzas, then catered food, through my undergraduate years. I'm frightened and curious as to what kind of work you thought I did at that age.

---

I'll be honest, I hadn't given it that much thought. If I had I would have imagined that your millionaire parents had kept you in a home for the socially awkward but academically gifted. I would have assumed that upon your 18th birthday you escaped from its confines against medical advice in order that you may forge your own way in the world, which you gallantly did by enrolling at the same sort of University that accepted Oleg. Now I have the mental image of a jobbing Chinese immigrant a bit like the Bruce Lee character in Enter The Dragon. Without any of the cool martial arts stuff.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

But I have established that I'm neither Chinese nor Asian looking, right?

---

You have, but first impressions are the strongest, and now I'm afraid I picture a Chinese man when I think of you. I'm fairly ambivalent about the Chinese though. I mean, obviously, I'm not enamoured with their human rights record, systemic corruption and absurd foreign policy, but on an individual and extra-China basis they're just fine.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

It's the beginning of an interesting story, I'm assuming, but I wasn't able to follow. Am I being questioned by an officer, did I rescue the girl, what assumption did the Chinese man make? I'm feeling inadequate here.

As a final note, I'm going to try to make a Chinese Brad Pitt in MS Paint. I've taken it on as an official challenge.

---

YOU were the Chinese man, silly. I don't think we should continue along this route of imagining because it will only confuse you further x

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeams

YOU were the Chinese man, silly. I don't think we should continue along this route of imagining because it will only confuse you further x

---

:lol: :D

Mary seems to not only tolerate your belittling/demeaning of his intellect/proclivity to social awkwardness but actually cultivates it, on occasion.
He gets persnickety when I do it.

I think he likes you more than me :cry:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeams

YOU were the Chinese man, silly. I don't think we should continue along this route of imagining because it will only confuse you further x

---

:lol: :D

Mary seems to not only tolerate your belittling/demeaning of his intellect/proclivity to social awkwardness but actually cultivates it, on occasion.
He gets persnickety when I do it.

I think he likes you more than me :cry:

---

I know, I missed it the first few times I think, but he's definitely cultivating himself as an in-joke. If there's one thing I know about intelligent men it's that they love to be picked on mercilessly by women. Perhaps a masochistic need to balance their egos? Or that because they are intelligent they need some cerebral stimulation for coitus to occur. Perhaps both.

Spoiler: Show

What Mary doesn't know is that I'm actually a hairy builder from Connecticut and I'm ALWAYS the train

rolflolol :glag:

Spoiler: Show

bang goes my theory that you're a precocious 11 year old former Countdown champion and that he somehow suspected.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

rolflolol :glag:

Spoiler: Show

bang goes my theory that you're a precocious 11 year old former Countdown champion and that he somehow suspected.

---

:happy:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

rolflolol :glag:

Spoiler: Show

bang goes my theory that you're a precocious 11 year old former Countdown champion and that he somehow suspected.

---

I'm probably more disappointed than you are.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

He gets persnickety when I do it.

I think he likes you more than me :cry:

---

Response 1. I think you're reading into it a little too sensitively. Much of my inconsistencies are probably a direct result of the varied mental states I'm in while reading and posting at different times.

Response 2. Like I'm going to put up with your shit if you're just going to leave me again.

Response 3. Would you be interested in replacing your current mousepad with one featuring me? I would be willing to strap into some vinyl.

Great. Now I'm getting Chinese Brad Pitt in a Seven of Nine costume. And there's no vomit smiley to convey my feelings.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Imma have to go advanced to deal with this bad boy :O

And of course, that way you wouldn't have to be be present while a man was handling his own. That my friend is why you're a scientist and not an accountant or something else.

---

I'll have you know I am going to be something else, in fact, many elses. Current plans include teacher of English to young Japanese girls in school uniform, professional editor, editorial entrepreneur, and an international beer bar manager/owner (current working title, Debeli Car (The Fat Czar).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

I do it as a service to others who bother to even read my posts. I'm, at times, hard enough to follow without putting forth a multifaceted mass of text. I've added to the multi-quote complexity of this reply, perhaps to make it more difficult to follow-up.

---

:dry:
Nice try but I'm still here.

---

Damn

Spoiler: Show

:hooray:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

What else would a young strapping uneducated lad be doing for income? I was also a telemarketer, I used to drive away from work screaming in my car for a straight 15 minutes. I have literally killed my voice several times. It was also the beginning of a streamlined path towards misanthropy for me. After that, I delivered pizzas, then catered food, through my undergraduate years. I'm frightened and curious as to what kind of work you thought I did at that age.

---

I'll be honest, I hadn't given it that much thought. If I had I would have imagined that your millionaire parents had kept you in a home for the socially awkward but academically gifted. I would have assumed that upon your 18th birthday you escaped from its confines against medical advice in order that you may forge your own way in the world, which you gallantly did by enrolling at the same sort of University that accepted Oleg. Now I have the mental image of a jobbing Chinese immigrant a bit like the Bruce Lee character in Enter The Dragon. Without any of the cool martial arts stuff.

---

I'm glad I give off an air of elegance, for my shit does smell like roses. If my parents were in fact millionaires, I got ripped off with powdered milk and melting ice cubes for something to drink when the water was shut off. That would mean my mom was just incredibly lazy. It wasn't martial arts, it was Enter the Dragon Suplex, a story of an American boy infiltrating the Isle of Man, to partake in dismantle an underage prostitution ring by pinning sweaty twinks with his skilled technique.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

But I have established that I'm neither Chinese nor Asian looking, right?

---

You have, but first impressions are the strongest, and now I'm afraid I picture a Chinese man when I think of you. I'm fairly ambivalent about the Chinese though. I mean, obviously, I'm not enamoured with their human rights record, systemic corruption and absurd foreign policy, but on an individual and extra-China basis they're just fine.

---

Don't feel pressured to defend yourself on this one, I was recently deemed a racist when it comes to the Chinese. I hope my boss and twenty of my colleagues don't find out. Scratch that, even if they found out, I already know the trick with the black eyeliner.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

It's the beginning of an interesting story, I'm assuming, but I wasn't able to follow. Am I being questioned by an officer, did I rescue the girl, what assumption did the Chinese man make? I'm feeling inadequate here.

---

YOU were the Chinese man, silly. I don't think we should continue along this route of imagining because it will only confuse you further x

---

The explanation didn't help, I think the script needs a rewrite. The rewrite should explain what Chinese Macky would assume. I'm sure I wouldn't hold anyone captive for 20 years, they'd be too old by then. I'm not even sure if my previous statement holds any relevance. Better to discontinue, my entire train of thought has become a mess due to one line.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Great. Now I'm getting Chinese Brad Pitt in a Seven of Nine costume. And there's no vomit smiley to convey my feelings.

---

I found the smiley

Spoiler: Show

Attachment 100278

I think Mary puts more effort into her own threads than anyone else's.
Does anyone else think that.
Because I do :smilie4:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Great. Now I'm getting Chinese Brad Pitt in a Seven of Nine costume. And there's no vomit smiley to convey my feelings.

---

I found the smiley

Spoiler: Show

Attachment 100278

---

:lol:
you absolute fuck. I just spent ages grafting your bearded head onto that pic with mspaint.
I'm just going to keep it now, unseen on my HD - and not for wanking porpoises :snooty:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

I think Mary puts more effort into her own threads than anyone else's.
Does anyone else think that.
Because I do :smilie4:

---

More effort, 'tis true, thought it gets about the same amount of share time. I feel a responsibility to in some way acknowledge and attempt to reply to everyone when I make a thread. They're not usually that popular, so I must nurture my little ones. I feel a sense of relief when it grows without me, such as the GBC and the fake ttc recruitment thread.

:happy:
I'm making you an honorary auntie to my next thread.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

:happy:
I'm making you an honorary auntie to my next thread.

---

It must be derailable.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

I think Mary puts more effort into her own threads than anyone else's.
Does anyone else think that.
Because I do :smilie4:

---

I expect when she has a party she is equally dilligent about topping up the drinks and circulating with the salty peanuts. Learned behaviour you see. One must be the best scientist/host/friend one can possibly be. The only difficulty Mary has in being the best she can be is when she hasn't been informed what the parameters to achieve that are. I suspect relationships are fun for her :smilie4:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeamous

I expect when she has a party she is equally dilligent about topping up the drinks and circulating with the salty peanuts. Learned behaviour you see. One must be the best scientist/host/friend one can possibly be. The only difficulty Mary has in being the best she can be is when she hasn't been informed what the parameters to achieve that are. I suspect relationships are fun for her :smilie4:

---

My online persona doesn't agree with my real life one. I make people get their own drinks, and 8 out of the 20 or so bbqs we've hosted, I made my guests work the grill.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeamous

I expect when she has a party she is equally dilligent about topping up the drinks and circulating with the salty peanuts. Learned behaviour you see. One must be the best scientist/host/friend one can possibly be. The only difficulty Mary has in being the best she can be is when she hasn't been informed what the parameters to achieve that are. I suspect relationships are fun for her :smilie4:

---

My online persona doesn't agree with my real life one. I make people get their own drinks, and 8 out of the 20 or so bbqs we've hosted, I made my guests work the grill.

---

Guests: I don't smell anything cooking, when's dinner?
Macky:Looks like we have a volunteer cook.
Macky:Now who wants to ask about what we are having, and than we will need someone to ask if we are using propane or charcoal...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by megabyteme

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mjmacky

My online persona doesn't agree with my real life one. I make people get their own drinks, and 8 out of the 20 or so bbqs we've hosted, I made my guests work the grill.

---

Guests: I don't smell anything cooking, when's dinner?
Macky:Looks like we have a volunteer cook.
Macky:Now who wants to ask about what we are having, and than we will need someone to ask if we are using propane or charcoal...

---

It's more like a game of chicken, the choice is to work the grill or let macky burn your meat. I fucking hate standing next to a grill, waiting for the cooking process to finish, so I'll just sit my lazy ass down drinking a beer and smoking cigarettes and say things like, I'll check it later. Anybody that knows me interprets me saying "later" as an almost inconceivable amount of time into the future.

Passive aggressive. This of course only applies to the times my wife doesn't work the grill.

I think In my panties, RIGHT NOW and voted it

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lastsmokeacnt

porno poetry

---

Oxymoron :dabs:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lastsmokeacnt

porno poetry

---

It's finally come to this.I can now recognize a J-dye post without even bothering to read it.:mellow:

Does scratch n sniff porn count.

J-dye, I'm going to burn your meat.