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That's because you're almost 40 :console:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Just before the run started I noticed I had 2 lighters in my running jacket pockets. If God didn't want us to smoke after a run he wouldn't have made us crave one so bad :no:
:cry:Quote:
Originally Posted by IdolEyes787
Stop wishing my life away, weird old person fetish girl.
brb, going out to buy two convertibles and get my teeth bleached :snooty:
Now IQuote:
Originally Posted by manker
confusedmore confused I thought you said that you had no appetite for sex after a run?:unsure:
I only did it to discombobulate the merkins.
Are you sure you're not American, btw. You also don't understand irony and chavois told me that you sound almost exactly like one.
Which one?Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
I have literally no idea, it was the Irish guy who was spreading the nationality rumours about you. I was just sitting here minding my own business.
I'm actually surprised you even asked me you callous bastard.
You live in Wales ffs, when are you ever going to get the top down on even one convertible?Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Today, hactually. And several times over the weekend :snooty:
In my mind you look a bit like Nigel Bates out of off of Eastenders.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
:DQuote:
You live in Wales ffs, when are you ever going to get the top down on even one convertible?
Why is it always curly haired people. CrabGirl said that in her mind's eye, I was the Welsh one from Coupling.
I'm going to make some more posts about my GHDs.
:glag:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Accountancy is the refuge of society's outcasts, that's why. Gingers and curlys dominate.
One of the hawt burds is ginger. I'd certainly dominate her refuge of society's outcast.
If you know what I mean :naughty:
Don't worry if you don't, just say it out loud in a Scotch accent and then emit a throaty Sid James chuckle straight afterwards.
I did and it now makes hella sense :smilie4:
Do you think you could run six miles, right now, like wot Squeamous did?
Not a fucking second cousin twice removed of a chance. I could manage two miles before I became a geyser of vomit. Subsequent to that, I'd be handing the verb 'jog' over to the paramedics.
When you add someone to your friend list on here, does it enable you to see them when they're appearing offline?
It's a distributed consciousness kinda deal which can be nullified by sharing the account password. Incidentally, JP and Fugley did it back in the day with the JP Fugley account. It lasted about six week before JP completely eclipsed Fugley. Fugley hasn't been heard from since. True story. Make from it what you will.
Me and a hawt burd are going to lay that carpet tomoro morning, I will provide pics if I survive.
Sweet to the beat.
How the feck is Panesar outbowling Swann?
About half seven.
Mary is definitely in prison I think.
Matter of time.
Is your earliest memory of the internets porn related?
Pretty much, but I was slapped back into the internets womb when I galumphed onto a site called 'shit city.com'. I wound in my vertibrae to an extext after that.
Can someone go get JP?
Haven't you heard? He's deceased. Defunct. Late. Mortified. Interred. Reposing.
My favourite thing I've ever read this week is in my sig. What's yours?
Your sig.
Well he must be because he can't be posting on a different site.
He'd find it impossible to join one given this one evolved around him and everyone hates the fuck out of him for at least six months before they don't.
I'm glad someone finally admitted to not being able to run six miles, btw. I also couldn't I don't think.
I play footie and stuff but they say a professional midfielder runs eight miles in a match. So that means about half that for me and I'm fucked at the end of it.
You both also smoke iirc.
If it halps, I'm not saying I'd get there especially fast. But when the weather allows I cycle a minimum of 40 miles a week, not counting back and forth to work, and last summer I did five times that, twice in two days.
The endurance won't be an issue. Also, footie is different, you need both endurance and sprinting skillz. So you can't rly compare them.
And unless I'm mistaken, idle does more cycling than I.
I think it depends on the situation. If I really had no worthwhile motivation I don't think I'd run the entire 6 miles. If there was a feral cat with sharp claws chasing and trying to infect me with the AIDS baby virus, I'm pretty certain I'd be able to make it the full 6. I used to jog 3 miles and sprint the 4th without issue, but that was more than a decade ago and I at least had a reason to keep my stamina up. I've given running a try since I moved to downtown and thought the scenery would be a good enough distraction, but I stopped doing it once I realized that I couldn't shake the thought of me running pointlessly with no destination out of my head.
A complicated answer, sure, but wouldn't you have been disappointed otherwise.
I don't feel very fit. I thought I was. I thought I had spent the last 7 years running, but in reality I've been jogging at a speed that requires no effort and enables me to listen to music and relax. Imagine the blow to my ego to find that 4 days after a 'proper run' my legs are still tighter than an Eskimo's ball bag. I'm going to have to up my game :(Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Same here. I only ever run when I have a reason to do it. When I'm going to visit friends for instance, or home from work. I couldn't go to a gym, it would be so pointless I'd break out in existential angst.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Holy moly, I've also called exercise by that phrase before.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
I can't run 6 miles to save my life. But I can swim them right out of bed. I used to do a morning 14km swim daily. Unfortunately, the stamina built up swimming is vastly noninterchangeable to the stamina built up jogging. Triathlons usually have me amazed.
That is quite the stamina considering it's a kiddie pool.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Cicero
Actually, it was the Mediterranean. See, I used to not want to pay to get into an expensive beach (it cost exactly $3 entrance fee). So I used to swim past the protective buoys, a 7km stretch, and then back in towards the land. The first few times I attempted it, I actually needed to use the buoys for support (pretty difficult swimming an entire 7km against the draft, after swimming an entire 7km prior). But then I got over it. The goal at the end was seeing a bunch of really hot Italians who had enough money to pay $3 on the beach entry fee, $3 on a Newspaper to block their view of my creeping up on them, and $20 on a different pair of thongs daily.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Attachment 105375Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth CiceroActually, it was the Mediterranean. See, I used to not want to pay to get into an expensive beach (it cost exactly $3 entrance fee). So I used to swim past the protective buoys, a 7km stretch, and then back in towards the land. The first few times I attempted it, I actually needed to use the buoys for support (pretty difficult swimming an entire 7km against the draft, after swimming an entire 7km prior). But then I got over it. The goal at the end was seeing a bunch of really hot Italians who had enough money to pay $3 on the beach entry fee, $3 on a Newspaper to block their view of my creeping up on them, and $20 on a different pair of thongs daily.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
We used to call our kiddie pool the Black Sea because it was so filthy, but didn't go so far as to recreate the economic scenario of the Ukraine.
Do you think you could run six miles, right now, like wot Squeamous did? - Not anymore, I reckon I've only got about four more years till I have to get a wheelchair.
When you add someone to your friend list on here, does it enable you to see them when they're appearing offline? - Yeah, Like I'd have any fucking clue about that.
Me and a hawt burd are going to lay that carpet tomoro morning, I will provide pics if I survive. - Still a distinct lack of photies I see, so I don't believe you.
How the feck is Panesar outbowling Swann? - They've not been playing too well recently, buggered if I know why, thay have all the people.
Mary is definitely in prison I think. - I reckon Mary was just hiding to see if any of you cared.
Is your earliest memory of the internets porn related? Nope. It was crappy technical stuff.
Can someone go get JP? - Hmmm...
My favourite thing I've ever read this week is in my sig. What's yours? - Marys blog. Some of his edits are quite amusing. Although to be fair this week has been a very bad one, burying an nephew really hasn't helped.
Even worse for your sibling, who subsequently watched you dig his plot with a spade in the backyard.Quote:
Originally Posted by happyed
INC.......you get the drift.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
I would love to do a triathlon one day! I used to be a strong swimmer but I'm also terrified of putting my face under the water. If I don't swim for a while the fear comes back with a vengeance, and it takes me a short while before I can re-adopt a competitive swimming style. I reckon I'll put the effort in and do it one day though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Cicero
I can't see Mary swimming past any buoys.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth CiceroActually, it was the Mediterranean. See, I used to not want to pay to get into an expensive beach (it cost exactly $3 entrance fee). So I used to swim past the protective buoys, a 7km stretch, and then back in towards the land. The first few times I attempted it, I actually needed to use the buoys for support (pretty difficult swimming an entire 7km against the draft, after swimming an entire 7km prior). But then I got over it. The goal at the end was seeing a bunch of really hot Italians who had enough money to pay $3 on the beach entry fee, $3 on a Newspaper to block their view of my creeping up on them, and $20 on a different pair of thongs daily.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Well they all seem to have lost their swimming trunks, like I could ignore that and not help them look for them for a few hours on land.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
See what we did there ^ everyone. Comedy gold.
/golf clap :smilie4:
I like the idea of Mary as your patsy.
Plz to be exploring this.
Who's on first base Macky?
Who. Do you want to replace Idol in our comedy duo, Fuck Me 'N the Brain? He doesn't seem to be too into it. Plus I think your mentioning of Pinky et al. inspired the label. I can easily redo the logo. Only if you're in, and it's a slow day on FST and I'm not running around doing stuff at the same time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
I assume this has been red before.
Spoiler: ShowABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER . . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".......
Remember this, Squeams. REMEMBER THIS.Quote:
Originally Posted by happyed
Real One :yikes:
Talk about motivation.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabytemeRemember this, Squeams. REMEMBER THIS.Quote:
Originally Posted by happyed
Ok, but my memory's already shot I don't want you're dick in my ear scrambling the brains I have left.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyWho. Do you want to replace Idol in our comedy duo, Fuck Me 'N the Brain? He doesn't seem to be too into it. Plus I think your mentioning of Pinky et al. inspired the label. I can easily redo the logo. Only if you're in, and it's a slow day on FST and I'm not running around doing stuff at the same time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Who's going to be the straight guy?
I read it and I took comfort from it.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabytemeRemember this, Squeams. REMEMBER THIS.Quote:
Originally Posted by happyed
We're inconventional, no designated roles needed, they can flip on a dime. Do you doubt your versatility?Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
I resent the implication. As for that wank faux A&C shite someone spat up and Mary posted ,one cannot and therefore should not attempt to improve on perfection.:ermm:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Also as of late you've fallen into the "Oh look how fucking clever I am " school of comedy which only really excites people who wear turtlenecks,smoke pipes and have dens with oak paneling.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky