Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
Previously on stuttering freak brother update we learned how, despite my best efforts, the enfant terrible went about his dastardly and profoundly stupid deeds. Violence, institutional impotence, speech impediments and brainlessness figured largely in our expanding chronicle. Last we saw him, the miscreant had imposed criminal damage unto his ankle tag and had jollied off into the night; stammering something about liberty.
This liberty was short-lived. He was summarily apprehended in possession of a screwdriver with intent, and was invited to complete the remainder of his commission, tax free, with visits once a week. Things were mercifully quiet until he extracted the eyeball of another inmate with a pool cue. The case is pending. As is the armed robbery charge I mentioned a while hence.
He has since been released into the custody of my mother, and has since snipped off the ankle tag once more and presented himself for psychological analysis, telling them that he wants to kill a priest. (Kill a priest, that's my favourite thing he's ever come off with). This lasted two fucking days. One of the nurses caught him with ganja. Violence and stuttering ensued, and he vanished into a convenient hedge.
Last I heard he threatening to kill himself if my mother didn't give him money for cigarettes.
Were they Menthols?
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
This is Hermit The Frog reporting for Sesame Street News with another fast-breaking news story.
On the lam and out in the cold, our antagonist shunted and hesitated from dive to dive, the Man ever-pursuant in bumming out the kids. He popped his incompetent head up from caper to caper; shop-lifting and the like. True to form, nothing resembling intelligence.
His driving ban having been recently lifted, he reapplied for his license. The world was to be his racetrack. In a couple of weeks time. In celebration of his forthcoming freedom of mobility, he promptly stole an automobile belonging to my uncle. Once again the omniscient, killjoy motherfucking Man was on his shit like a skin-grafted stop sign. He was arrested.
Charged with vehicle theft, reckless endangerment and an assortment of misdemeanors generally pertaining to being a stupid cunt, he has again taken up residence in the House Of Many Windows wherein he awaits trail for the armed robbery we've discussed at length hitherto.
In the cells, he launched into one of his violent, epileptic skits. Whereupon, he was cable tied by the arms and ankles and allowed to piss himself. Crime pays, kids.
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Enough about the good son, let's hear about the trouble-maker...
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
megabyteme
Enough about the good son, let's hear about the trouble-maker...
I'm doing sweet.
Everything was shite up until an hour ago. Now someone has paid for my flight to San Fransisco.
I didn't have to threaten anybody.
I know you all will find this pretty hard to believe, but being a helluva fucking nice guy has its benefits, innit.
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
I remember you mentioning your interest in coming to the States a few months back. If you have commented on your plans further, I must have missed the post(s). Are you going to spend the entire time in SF? Unless I'm mistaken, your earlier thoughts involved a road trip. Any chance you'll be headed towards Eastern Washington? If so, we've got a spare room, and I can promise some satisfying meals. Would be quite interested in meeting such a nice fucking guy. :)
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
megabyteme
I remember you mentioning your interest in coming to the States a few months back. If you have commented on your plans further, I must have missed the post(s). Are you going to spend the entire time in SF? Unless I'm mistaken, your earlier thoughts involved a road trip. Any chance you'll be headed towards Eastern Washington? If so, we've got a spare room, and I can promise some satisfying meals. Would be quite interested in meeting such a nice fucking guy. :)
That's a terribly nice thing to say.
If you hadn't acted all girley in the other place, you'd know that the missus and the kids are fucking off to New York and Florida without me. I don't do family holidays. Anymore.
An estranged cousin (recently embraced, his dad died) has decided that I rawk the fucking sawks and wants me to accompany him to meet the extended siblings his dad created in San Fran.
I highly doubt that I'll be heading towards Washington, but I take the offer expressly to my heart, man.
Your loss.
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
I saw road trip and San Fran... I just did that trip this summer, now you're off mimicking me chavis. Will your wife and kids be joining me on Christmas, I think you instructed me to punch someone in the face, right? I might as well admit at this point that I currently suffer Florida, sunny humid ignorant fucking Florida.
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
That's a terribly nice thing to say.
If you hadn't acted all girley in the other place, you'd know that the missus and the kids are fucking off to New York and Florida without me. I don't do family holidays. Anymore.
An estranged cousin (recently embraced, his dad died) has decided that I rawk the fucking sawks and wants me to accompany him to meet the extended siblings his dad created in San Fran.
I highly doubt that I'll be heading towards Washington, but I take the offer expressly to my heart, man.
Your loss.
My offer stands, and you are among a handful of individuals I would make such an offer to.
As for the "girly-ness", I won't disagree. My best defense is that I was in the middle of 4 days of cold-turkey morphine withdrawal (I had been on it for over a year). I beat it, but it was hell. Thing is, I've had more fun sticking to the general sections. That section pulled me into too much political bullshit, and it wasn't fun anymore- not for me; not for the section. Even after the withdrawal ended, I still don't want to go back. Anyplace that won't have Macky isn't good enough for me either. :snooty:
I've been happy to come across almost all of the members in various threads, and am relieved no one has spat upon me (yet). :D If they had, I would understand why. Regardless, FST remains my online stomping ground... :happy:
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
You ladies save your private section talk for private girl scout meetings.
I think the more pertinent issue here is: If the chavis brothers were given a task to kill each other (let's say by god in a dream), who would come out on top?
Re: Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Darth Rings
If the chavis brothers were given a task to kill each other (let's say by god in a dream), who would come out on top?
I'll take the one who isn't constantly pursuing a Darwin Award.
Now if it were a question of you vs chal-lite, I'll take the one who takes on bigger, stronger opponents than innocent kittens. :yup:
