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Vacuum repairman: There you go, all fixed. Turns out a half-eaten meatball was clogging up the intake.
Peter: Oh. Well, did you save it?
Vacuum repairman: Uh, no.
Peter: You bastard.
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Peter: I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
LMAO
Lois: Its Stewie, he peed on the carpet
Peter: Do I.. Do I hit him?
Lois: No!
Stewie: Come down mother.
Lois: Yes Honey?
*SMACK*
Stewie: HOW DARE YOU SULLY MY GOOD NAME BY SPREADING YOUR SLANDEROUS FILTH?!
Lois: Stewie! no hitting. Use your words
:after walking in on Brian masturbating:
Peter: Was he just ma--?
Lois: Yes
Peter: Do we...Do we rub his nose in it?
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Stewie: Oh look! It's Cirrhosis: The Wonder Dog!
Brian: I'm not drunk, alright? I just have a speech impediment. (vomits) And a stomach virus. (falls to the floor) And an inner-ear infection.
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Tom Tucker: Get used to this sight, Diane: guys running away from you!
Diane: Tom, you're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents!
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Quagmire: What? ... Fat chicks need love too. But they gotta pay.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by pusher
quag: you could whore yourself out to 50 fat chicks for 1000 dollars. or 5 really fat chicks for 10000.
LMAO
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Meg Griffin: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well that would just leave England.
:lol:
and i await the flaming >_<
i got two of em i just thought of
Mr. Fargus: Well it's no wonder this clown's dead.... his lungs are filled with CANDY!!!!
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Meg: Mom, this might be a bad idea. Last time you left dad home alone he turned the house into a giant puppet.
Meg: Dad, if I don't get my driver's license, I'll never have any boyfriends, I'll never get married and I'll have to adopt a kid like Rosie O'Donnell.
Peter: Meg ... are you implying that Rosie O'Donnell cant drive?
:lol:
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Originally Posted by david622
Bring me a toolshed for I am hungry :lol: :lol: :lol:
LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by cpt_azad
I was looking for that part.
Interviewer: So, where do you see yourself in five years?
Peter: (thinking: Don't say doin' your wife, don't say doin' your wife, don't say doin' your wife.) Doin' your... son?
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Tom Tucker: Next up, our report on the clitoris. Nature's rubix cube.
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Stewie: Yea and God said to Abraham, "You will kill your son Isaac." And Abraham said, "I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." And God said, "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."
L M F A O :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by pusher