fake British univerity certificate?

ok...back to how yoghurt kills crabs.

Yoghurt contains three very useful forms of bacteria...namely Bifidobacteria, Acidophilus and Lactobacillus. A combination of these in yoghurt create lactose acid, which literally breaks down certain proteins.

Now. This is the interesting part. The exxo-sceleton of a pubic louse is made up of complex proteins, creating a soft shell for the little dude to survive within. Over time (as i pointed out earlier) the 3 bacterium and the lactose acid above will dissolve the louse outer shell, thus killing it in a most terrible way.

Also, 2 of the three bacteria above help the body stimulate the production of vitamin b, as its the bodies way of breaking down lactose acid, both internally an externally. Go to your chemist, as i do not remember the name, and you'll find that in several remedies a chemical compound, based on the properties of vitamin b, is present, as in large doses of many vitamins, even to humans, is highly poisonous.

So the yoghurt fucks the louse from two angles.

Yoghurt, because of the vit b compound, is also used as a moisturiser, because it breaks down dead skin cells and, again, promotes the production of Vitamin B. No food, the little fuckers have no way of surviving.

Go on....ask me another.

I daresay that you're right - enough yoghurt, applied regularly enough, will eventually break down a louse's outer shell ... but we're talking about pubic lice.

Why would anyone spread yoghurt over their genitals for long enough to kill crabs when they could buy a remedy from the chemist which would complete the task in less than an hour.

They wouldn't. End of.

I also left school without qualifications, lived off the state for a year, and had a kid. No family for help, drug probs.....etc...etc..

My turning point was when a friend said 'are you gonna lie down and let your scenario screwyou for life?'

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.

I also put myself through uni, and i'm putting myself through my mba now, as was the point of this thread. I now work as a business analyst for a great company. My son is now 8yo, goes to a good school. Yes, his mother and me arent the best of friends, but hes happy i believe.

So why you tell me this, is beyond me. Maybe for others to offer you pity that you started an argument, and lost. Badly.And continued it.

Your 29, u have 3 beautiful kids and live in a nice part of the world. To me,you have success in a different way, that other would be very envious of. And, you are only 29...you have all the possibilities ahead of you.

You say you get money off the state, most people do! But they also do grants for single parents to return to education, i.e. if you spent less time posting on here and more time on an online uni course, u can get to where you dreamed.

Rise and conquer Ms Crab.... the fuures yours for the taking.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

defamation - an abusive attack on a person's character or good name.

She doesnt have a good name. And lacks character some what.

Maybe the lice could sue...they seem to have the worse deal here, and the hgher IQ

---

Do you know, you are spot on sunshine! Everybody here hates me, I'm a bit bland and insipid, and I left school at 15 to become a single mum. I've now got four kids by three different dads and I've got a part time job in a third-rate supermarket. Most of what I own is on hire purchase, and most of my income comes from the state. Stop rubbing your superiority in my face will you. You make me feel bad about myself

---

I eat shedloads of yoghurts but I still catch crabs so, in conclusion, poppycock!

Where the hell does Crabgirl keep these kids then? I'm pretty sure I haven't seen any around our flat. :dabs:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.

---

So, you're an expert in the field ... what do you think of this little beauty :smilie4:

http://img158.exs.cx/img158/6865/picture002456vi.jpg

Why not simply go for a swim, bath etc - suffocation seems faster than degrading the shell, in that case why not simply swim in vinegar.

Youghurt is used by women to remove vaginal mushroom harvesting.

You guys are killing my love for yoghurt by the way.

edit: nice bin nice, polish regularly?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

I also left school without qualifications, lived off the state for a year, and had a kid. No family for help, drug probs.....etc...etc..

My turning point was when a friend said 'are you gonna lie down and let your scenario screwyou for life?'

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.

I also put myself through uni, and i'm putting myself through my mba now, as was the point of this thread. I now work as a business analyst for a great company. My son is now 8yo, goes to a good school. Yes, his mother and me arent the best of friends, but hes happy i believe.

So why you tell me this, is beyond me. Maybe for others to offer you pity that you started an argument, and lost. Badly.And continued it.

Your 29, u have 3 beautiful kids and live in a nice part of the world. To me,you have success in a different way, that other would be very envious of. And, you are only 29...you have all the possibilities ahead of you.

You say you get money off the state, most people do! But they also do grants for single parents to return to education, i.e. if you spent less time posting on here and more time on an online uni course, u can get to where you dreamed.

Rise and conquer Ms Crab.... the fuures yours for the taking.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Do you know, you are spot on sunshine! Everybody here hates me, I'm a bit bland and insipid, and I left school at 15 to become a single mum. I've now got four kids by three different dads and I've got a part time job in a third-rate supermarket. Most of what I own is on hire purchase, and most of my income comes from the state. Stop rubbing your superiority in my face will you. You make me feel bad about myself

---

---

Sarcasm > jimbo.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

I daresay that you're right - enough yoghurt, applied regularly enough, will eventually break down a louse's outer shell ... but we're talking about pubic lice.

Why would anyone spread yoghurt over their genitals for long enough to kill crabs when they could buy a remedy from the chemist which would complete the task in less than an hour.

They wouldn't. End of.

---

Quite.

Why do people spread a pot of yoghurt over their burny bits instead of going to the doctor and getting a pretty instant cure for thrush? Two reasons:

1 - the embarrassment of going to the doctor and asking for the stuff

2 - some of the chemicals in the medication are pretty harsh to some people skin and dangerous to pregnant people, so a natural, more gentle cure is the only way they can go.

And it would only take a dose or two over an hour or two to get rid of the lice.

Also, considering the Devon area stereotype, i would have thought yoghurt was a pretty easy thing to get hold of.

Saying that, shaving the bush would be a good option also.

End of.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

I eat shedloads of yoghurts but I still catch crabs so, in conclusion, poppycock!

---

You have to apply to infected area. Eating it does sod all for thrush/crabs.

But you will have healthier skin, better breathe, less chance of gum disease and a tasty snack.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

I eat shedloads of yoghurts but I still catch crabs so, in conclusion, poppycock!

---

You have to apply to infected area. Eating it does sod all for thrush/crabs.

But you will have healthier skin, better breathe, less chance of gum disease and a tasty snack.

---

Sarcasm > jimbo.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.

---

So, you're an expert in the field ... what do you think of this little beauty :smilie4:

http://img158.exs.cx/img158/6865/picture002456vi.jpg

---

Thats a beauty mate....the ones i dealt with were less shiney and had wheels on.
And stunk.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

You have to apply to infected area. Eating it does sod all for thrush/crabs.

But you will have healthier skin, better breathe, less chance of gum disease and a tasty snack.

---

Sarcasm > jimbo.

---

Sarcasm > manker

i've read your other posts...:P

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420

I eat shedloads of yoghurts but I still catch crabs so, in conclusion, poppycock!

---

You have to apply to infected area. Eating it does sod all for thrush/crabs.

But you will have healthier skin, better breathe, less chance of gum disease and a tasty snack.

---

I apply it to the infected areas and then eat it? :pinch:

To be honest I'll stick to shaving all my body hair off every few weeks.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

I also left school without qualifications, lived off the state for a year, and had a kid. No family for help, drug probs.....etc...etc..

My turning point was when a friend said 'are you gonna lie down and let your scenario screwyou for life?'

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.

I also put myself through uni, and i'm putting myself through my mba now, as was the point of this thread. I now work as a business analyst for a great company. My son is now 8yo, goes to a good school. Yes, his mother and me arent the best of friends, but hes happy i believe.

So why you tell me this, is beyond me. Maybe for others to offer you pity that you started an argument, and lost. Badly.And continued it.

Your 29, u have 3 beautiful kids and live in a nice part of the world. To me,you have success in a different way, that other would be very envious of. And, you are only 29...you have all the possibilities ahead of you.

You say you get money off the state, most people do! But they also do grants for single parents to return to education, i.e. if you spent less time posting on here and more time on an online uni course, u can get to where you dreamed.

Rise and conquer Ms Crab.... the fuures yours for the taking.

---

Sarcasm > jimbo.

---

Well done on your achievements in the face of adversity. You should be proud of yourself. Now, if you'd only stop allowing people to crank your handle then you'd fine. Thanks for the advice about the online course honey but I don't need to fake my credentials, I already have them from a proper university.

My pseudo-kids are fugly, not beautiful, which is why I hide them in a cupboard when Cheese comes home.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

I daresay that you're right - enough yoghurt, applied regularly enough, will eventually break down a louse's outer shell ... but we're talking about pubic lice.

Why would anyone spread yoghurt over their genitals for long enough to kill crabs when they could buy a remedy from the chemist which would complete the task in less than an hour.

They wouldn't. End of.

---

Quite.

Why do people spread a pot of yoghurt over their burny bits instead of going to the doctor and getting a pretty instant cure for thrush? Two reasons:

1 - the embarrassment of going to the doctor and asking for the stuff

2 - some of the chemicals in the medication are pretty harsh to some people skin and dangerous to pregnant people, so a natural, more gentle cure is the only way they can go.

And it would only take a dose or two over an hour or two to get rid of the lice.

Also, considering the Devon area stereotype, i would have thought yoghurt was a pretty easy thing to get hold of.

Saying that, shaving the bush would be a good option also.

End of.

---

I like the shaving of the bush option. Any sensible person would opt for that.

I doubt, however, that two liberal applications of yoghurt would kill all of the lice - and certainly not the eggs. Also, what if they're those lice that burrow and lay eggs under the skin.

I may have made that up, about the burrowing, but I'm fairly confident a bloke in the pub told me it's true.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Sarcasm > jimbo.

---

Sarcasm > manker

i've read your other posts...:P

---

Yeah, I'm just a beginner.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Sarcasm > jimbo.

---

Well done on your achievements in the face of adversity. You should be proud of yourself. Now, if you'd only stop allowing people to crank your handle then you'd fine. Thanks for the advice about the online course honey but I don't need to fake my credentials, I already have them from a proper university.

My pseudo-kids are fugly, not beautiful, which is why I hide them in a cupboard when Cheese comes home.

---

I feel abused....do it again!;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quite.

Why do people spread a pot of yoghurt over their burny bits instead of going to the doctor and getting a pretty instant cure for thrush? Two reasons:

1 - the embarrassment of going to the doctor and asking for the stuff

2 - some of the chemicals in the medication are pretty harsh to some people skin and dangerous to pregnant people, so a natural, more gentle cure is the only way they can go.

And it would only take a dose or two over an hour or two to get rid of the lice.

Also, considering the Devon area stereotype, i would have thought yoghurt was a pretty easy thing to get hold of.

Saying that, shaving the bush would be a good option also.

End of.

---

I like the shaving of the bush option. Any sensible person would opt for that.

I doubt, however, that two liberal applications of yoghurt would kill all of the lice - and certainly not the eggs. Also, what if they're those lice that burrow and lay eggs under the skin.

I may have made that up, about the burrowing, but I'm fairly confident a bloke in the pub told me it's true.

---

You're thinking of Botfly. Yoghurt can't kill those.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Sarcasm > manker

i've read your other posts...:P

---

Yeah, I'm just a beginner.

---

Posts: 29,975

Fuck....i'd hate to know what an expert is on here.


When will my NooB statues change, by the way.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

So, you're an expert in the field ... what do you think of this little beauty :smilie4:

http://img158.exs.cx/img158/6865/picture002456vi.jpg

---

Thats a beauty mate....the ones i dealt with were less shiney and had wheels on.
And stunk.

---

Oh so you meant that you emptied household rubbish bins into dustcarts and you're not an expert on kitchen bins. My bad. I had no idea. Absolutely none.

I'll have to look elsewhere to get an informed opinion on my hawt piece of chrome.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Yeah, I'm just a beginner.

---

Posts: 29,975

Fuck....i'd hate to know what an expert is on here.


When will my NooB statues change, by the way.

---

When you log into your user control panel and change your user title to something else.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

I like the shaving of the bush option. Any sensible person would opt for that.

I doubt, however, that two liberal applications of yoghurt would kill all of the lice - and certainly not the eggs. Also, what if they're those lice that burrow and lay eggs under the skin.

I may have made that up, about the burrowing, but I'm fairly confident a bloke in the pub told me it's true.

---

You're thinking of Botfly. Yoghurt can't kill those.

---

Yeah, yoghurt and vinegars great, but botflies, buggared if i know.
and what the hell would you be doing to get those infecting your bush?

Isn't vinegar for colds, with cabbage leaves, plastered on one's chest? I'm sure my mum told me that.

Some species of botfly apparently burrow into the testes of rodents. So yeh, I did rude things to a rat.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

You're thinking of Botfly. Yoghurt can't kill those.

---

Yeah, yoghurt and vinegars great, but botflies, buggared if i know.
and what the hell would you be doing to get those infecting your bush?

---

Duno, I'll ask my mate - who is absolutely, positively not me - wtf he was shagging to get infected with that :ermm:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Thats a beauty mate....the ones i dealt with were less shiney and had wheels on.
And stunk.

---

Oh so you meant that you emptied household rubbish bins into dustcarts and you're not an expert on kitchen bins. My bad. I had no idea. Absolutely none.

I'll have to look elsewhere to get an informed opinion on my hawt piece of chrome.

---

Yep, i never worked in the bin retail sector.

But, in my uneducated opinion,thats a cracking bin. You must be proud. I can only aspire to own such a piece of workmanship.

Is that you in the reflection? Are you the killer in the Scream movies?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Yeah, yoghurt and vinegars great, but botflies, buggared if i know.
and what the hell would you be doing to get those infecting your bush?

---

Duno, I'll ask my mate - who is absolutely, positively not me - wtf he was shagging to get infected with that :ermm:

---

Not sure if abortions the way to go here.Tell him to keep them. he could be the first man to give birth. Must be a money-making scheme somewhere.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Oh so you meant that you emptied household rubbish bins into dustcarts and you're not an expert on kitchen bins. My bad. I had no idea. Absolutely none.

I'll have to look elsewhere to get an informed opinion on my hawt piece of chrome.

---

Yep, i never worked in the bin retail sector.

But, in my uneducated opinion,thats a cracking bin. You must be proud. I can only aspire to own such a piece of workmanship.

Is that you in the reflection? Are you the killer in the Scream movies?

---

Techically, it's not mine - altho' one day I aspire to own such a piece of craftsmanship.

It was a gift for a loved one :smilie4:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Isn't vinegar for colds, with cabbage leaves, plastered on one's chest? I'm sure my mum told me that.

Some species of botfly apparently burrow into the testes of rodents. So yeh, I did rude things to a rat.

---

Vinegars great! Not sure abot the legitamacy of the botflies burrowing into rodent testis....surely they are too small a target.

If i was a bot fly, i'd go for an elephant. A sure thing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Yep, i never worked in the bin retail sector.

But, in my uneducated opinion,thats a cracking bin. You must be proud. I can only aspire to own such a piece of workmanship.

Is that you in the reflection? Are you the killer in the Scream movies?

---

Techically, it's not mine - altho' one day I aspire to own such a piece of craftsmanship.

It was a gift for a loved one :smilie4:

---

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!

Most guys would buy flowers, chocolates and all the other crap men think women want.

You buy yours a trash can.

i see your thinking "whilst your in their admiring the bin, cook me a pie, petal."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Techically, it's not mine - altho' one day I aspire to own such a piece of craftsmanship.

It was a gift for a loved one :smilie4:

---

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!

---

Yeah, I know ... but try telling these cunts that :dry:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

i see your thinking "whilst you're in there admiring the bin, cook me a pie, petal."

---

:lol: :smilie4:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Isn't vinegar for colds, with cabbage leaves, plastered on one's chest? I'm sure my mum told me that.

Some species of botfly apparently burrow into the testes of rodents. So yeh, I did rude things to a rat.

---

Vinegars great! Not sure abot the legitamacy of the botflies burrowing into rodent testis....surely they are too small a target.

If i was a bot fly, i'd go for an elephant. A sure thing.

---

Well wiki says it so it must be true:P

I know that elephants share 99% of their DNA with the Hyrax, but I'm not sure an elephant can be classified as a rodent.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Techically, it's not mine - altho' one day I aspire to own such a piece of craftsmanship.

It was a gift for a loved one :smilie4:

---

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!

---

Never a truer word spoken in jest.

Apart from his penchant for silver shoes of course. :dry:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

I know that elephants share 99% of their DNA with the Hyrax, but I'm not sure an elephant can be classified as a rodent.

---

You'd certainly know about it if you had an infestation of elephants in your attic :blink:

Btw, unless this is some kind of biologist rod ... I can't see a fly burrowing into the supertuff testes of a pachyderm :ermm:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!

---

Never a truer word spoken in jest.

Apart from his penchant for silver shoes of course. :dry:

---

I have gold ones too - for special occasions.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CrabGirl

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!

---

Never a truer word spoken in jest.

Apart from his penchant for silver shoes of course. :dry:

---

I was serious...i can just picture the conversation.

"what do you want for your birthday?"
"get me something big and sparkly!!"

I can also imagine the lucky ladies face upon receiving such a fine article of kitchenware.

Silver shoes...mmmmm.:ermm:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by manker

Btw, unless this is some kind of biologist rod ... I can't see a fly burrowing into the supertuff testes of a pachyderm :ermm:

---

This is true....and i also learned a new word for the day - pachyderm. In fact 2...Hyrax as well.

Ok...i meant due to the sizr difference between a rodents nuts and an elephants.

But surely a horses cant be too hard to penetrate?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jimbo12345

But surely a horse cant be too hard to penetrate?

---

This might be totally unrelated - but are you originally from Cornwall :unsure:

Oh god. Penetrating horses. Just reminds me of the bit in Jackass 2 with the horse semen. I actually retched.

Anyhow my lil interweb-darlings. I'm off to work. See ya'll after nine.