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Basically, manker, she's saying that she's seen tens if not hundreds times more penises than you have.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Your furtive glances in the men's changing room at the gym probably don't allow you a decent enough set of observations to perceive all the delicate nuances of the penis.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
PS.Spoiler: Show:smilie4:
I don't even know how much of it is real anymore. If you peer too long, you'll go blind. Or is semen in the eye a myth?Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Also, the age thing. Children tend to be more consenting.
That's the end of the line, I can't springboard off that one.
There's nothing delicate about my meat bludgeon.Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousYour furtive glances in the men's changing room at the gym probably don't allow you a decent enough set of observations to perceive all the delicate nuances of the penis.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
PS.Spoiler: Show:smilie4:
Okay that's the gratuitous 'I've got a gigantic penis' line out of the way so would you be so kind as to tell me whether the old 'it's a grower, not a shower' adage is a complete myth or not.
I've always wondered :eyebrows:
Instead of staring, you could start asking for their differential.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Sounds a bit gay.
As this thread is permanently stuck in peen mode...
Anyone try any of the real "sexual enhancement" drugs (viagra, cialis, etc.)? Were they worthwhile? (Bigger, stronger, longer, WOW! factor).
Yes and no and no.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
After footie one week, or someone's birthday, or whatever. idfk. Everyone chipped in for a round of shorts, there was this iridescent blue drink that looked nice so I chose that off the tray. I didn't know that one of my mates had put viagra in it.
In training in the week, everyone was like; 'I bet you give it to your missus on Saturday night, eh' and 'Gave her an hammering, I heard'
So I was all; 'uh, yeah, think so ... why?'
Someone said about the viagra and they all fell about laughing, I was kind of non-plussed. There was nothing different that I recall, just a normal Saturday night :dabs:
I guess you set Saturday nights aside to catch up on a lot of video then.Quote:
Originally Posted by mankerYes and no and no.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
After footie one week, or someone's birthday, or whatever. idfk. Everyone chipped in for a round of shorts, there was this iridescent blue drink that looked nice so I chose that off the tray. I didn't know that one of my mates had put viagra in it.
In training in the week, everyone was like; 'I bet you give it to your missus on Saturday night, eh' and 'Gave her an hammering, I heard'
So I was all; 'uh, yeah, think so ... why?'
Someone said about the viagra and they all fell about laughing, I was kind of non-plussed. There was nothing different that I recall, just a normal Saturday night :dabs:
I think you just have a natural defence mechanism kicking in in response to me being in the 'Monty' phase of my menstrual cycle.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h622eyNHHQ8&feature=related
I think it is. They all look pretty small and unimpressive when flaccid. Anyone with anything that isn't the size of a thumb in public probably has a semillon.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
I haven't tried any legal ones, but a mate of mine has. He said it just gave him a raging boner for hours until eventually the woman told him to fuck off and go to sleep. Also you have to take it 30 mins before you need it so you have to time it right. I was quite shocked when I found this out, but young dudes take them all the time as well. I was seeing someone once who had this obsession with his performance and size and he said he carried them around like he would condoms. They became a crutch. Quite sad really, especially since he fucked as you'd imagine a 25 yo who carries around viagra would.....mechanically and without feeling. Must be tough to be a dude these days :ermm:Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
Probably passed out drooling on her bewbs as always.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyI guess you set Saturday nights aside to catch up on a lot of video then.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
^ I think you're both at cross porpoises.
Isn't Mary on about wanking.
Altho' I do a lot of bewb drooling. It doesn't even wake her up any more :happy:
lol -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------^Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousI think it is. They all look pretty small and unimpressive when flaccid. Anyone with anything that isn't the size of a thumb in public probably has a semillon.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
/walks away from the thread with a smug smile and jaunty step.
Perk of the job. I used to wake up sometimes and find my ex stuck to my boobs by his face. It's not even safe to fall asleep in church anymore :no:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Spoiler: Show:drummer:
Ignoring the video that is content blocked in my country, I'm not following this sentence. If it's not thumb-sized, it's a grape? A grape is smaller than a thumb, so why does it seem a little backwards?Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
I only ask because it made sense to this one. And yes, I was on about autoerotic fixation.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
You know, if you lie on your arm till it goes numb, you can pretend it's someone else, sort of an automatic Dutch rudder. :naughty:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyI only ask because it made sense to this one. And yes, I was on about autoerotic fixation.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
:no:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
But my dick is sensitive and what it feels is a large rough swollen hand with poor motor function forcing itself upon it, that not at all works for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisYou know, if you lie on your arm till it goes numb, you can pretend it someone else, sort of an automatic Dutch rudder. :naugthy:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
No does not answer why.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous:no:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
I actually cackled at that like a witch with pneumonia :happy:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
It's a play on the Brit term 'semi-on'. Aka lazy lob on.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyNo does not answer why.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
I'm sure you could get your hands on the appropriate amount of Succinylcholine to firm up that grip and maybe even some Ketamine to relax you and get over the initial inihibition. :naughty:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyBut my dick is sensitive and what it feels is a large rough swollen hand with poor motor function forcing itself upon it, that not at all works for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis
Artemis is dirty!
:blushing: And here was me just trying to help a fella out with his problem :wank:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
Dutch Rudder :blink:
No, don't worry. I'll google.
okay that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard
Au contraire, you haven't checked out other gems on the urban dictionary like the 'rusty trombone', 'salty pirate' (a personal fav), 'cleveland steamer' I could go on, but Squeamous already thinks I'm dirty :blushing:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
I haven't checked them out but I'm not entirely sure why not having heard of some stuff would prevent something I had heard of being the stupidest thing I'd ever heard.Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisAu contraire, you haven't checked out other gems on the urban dictionary like the 'rusty trombone', 'salty pirate' (a personal fav), 'cleveland steamer' I could go on, but Squeamous already thinks I'm dirty :blushing:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Good work on the 'au contraire', btw :happy:
You say that like it's a badge of honour :smilie4:Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis
Well yes it is, and it is quite an upgrade on the last team assessment I got from Manker which was that I should stick to things historical and zoological. :blink:Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousYou say that like it's a badge of honour :smilie4:Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis
After that I wanted to go and play in traffic.
There is nothing quite like being mildly complimented.
Oh OK, thinks I gets it now. In that explanation alone there's a bunch of terms you Brits are using for that. We've got half-chub, flying at half mast or flag at half staff (all of them rely on the use of half). I guess we don't have to work on the synonyms as much since the girls are more attractive here. :idunno:Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousIt's a play on the Brit term 'semi-on'. Aka lazy lob on.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Sir.Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisWell yes it is, and it is quite an upgrade on the last team assessment I got from Manker which was that I should stick to things historical and zoological. :blink:Quote:
Originally Posted by Squeamous
After that I wanted to go and play in traffic.
There is nothing quite like being mildly complimented.
I didn't mildly compliment you, I damned you with faint praise.
Wouldn't that be ineffectual though? I get the impression that you don't have much in the way of traffic and at best you'd get wounded by a tractor. Are you a cutter by any chance?Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis
Have you ever earned your red wings?Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Must have scared the hell out of someone.Quote:
Originally Posted by SqueamousI actually cackled at that like a witch with pneumonia :happy:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
Indeed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary
Thanks for clearing that up.
:rolleyes:
Brown ones too.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyHave you ever earned your red wings?Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
That's not stupid, though, that's an essential pit-stop which one must frequently visit on the circuitous and tortuous journey to male fulfilment.
Don't you listen to him, he's just overcompensating for the fact he drives a ladies' car and drinks Blue Lagoon cocktails on his lads' nights out.Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis
I think it's probably just because you guys aren't as good at swearing as Brits, and also don't have the imagination to make that intellectual leap to describe the things you see in any more abstract than literal terms.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
If it were because the girls are more attractive you wouldn't have to go to Japan to get a full-on.
Fuck sake Macky you spastic, you know I live alone.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
STM&SD would disagree :wub:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker