Correcting a parent reguarding their own child

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Originally Posted by 100%

The world would be one hell of a boring and paranoid place if we did not speak our opinions, whether right or wrong.

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That's why I speak mine. ;)

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Originally Posted by Jon L. Obscene

Thank you Z, yes I always have good intentions, I'm only human and I reacted to a situation, simply because some people think I was wrong to do so does'nt actually mean I was.
I asked the question because I wanted to know what others thought and respect the opinion of the people who replied.

I understand what Nik, Sara and Busyman have said, in hiensight maybe I should have just left it at making sure everyone was ok, but I'm a little quick tempered lately so I reacted the way I did, thats me.The guy reacted agressivly out of fear, I reacted calmly out of concern, THEN reacted agressivly out of my natural instinct to protect.
As Z said everyone seems to be forgetting the fact that had I actually hit her not only would I have moral issues and massive guilt trips I probably could not have handled, but I could have also been charged for Manslaughter as we have no J-walking laws here, you hit a pedestrian it's your fault basically. So my arguement is still why is it ok for him to lose it yet I did'nt?
He reacted agressivly, like I've said, he did'nt just shout, my dad used to growel at me when I was caught breaking in a house or smoking etc,not when he'd nearly lost me, scared the hell out of me but just made me think of ways not to get caught, it was simply trying to get me to not do bad things through threatening me, shout yeah but you guys really are not getting the point that this guy did not simply shout, ffs he made several people jump.

I understand a parent reacting by voice, shouting if you're that way inclined, and yes I may have been wrong to butt in, but I don't like to see that kind of behaviour, not towards kids, especially not in public, I still see no need, I've told kids things and they've listend, I've stopped kids crying, my little brother is a little shit but I don't shout at them, I deal with it differently and have several times calmed down a kid or stopped a kid being naughty when the parent could'nt, I don't believe in agressive reactions towards kids, learning by force is not the way, they're kids not soldiers,they tried that with me and look what happend, I rebel against any and all orders, ask me, yes, tell me, no.
Yes sometimes a kid needs shouting at to get attention as has been said and I don't deny that, but in that situation I dissagree, if you find an adult in shock do you shout at them? No, it's medically wrong for a start.
If that little girl had been one of your mates stepped out in the road (cos adults do that too, I know I have) and your mate was scared shitless by nearly being squashed, how would you react? shout at them? no I don't think so. Yes an adult knows better and it's accidental or stupid if they step out in the road, and yes a child needs to learn but would'nt it be better to make sure that child is ok then imediately take them to a safe place and explain what could have happend, you can insight the correct kind of fear into a child without shouting, personally I think shoutin has an adverse effect, the kid concentrates on the fact you're shouting, not what you're actually saying. Do you guys remember being shouted at as a kid? do you remember what it was about?........and do you remember having a talking to by your parents and them telling you things that scared you?

Yes everyone is different and there's no doubt in my mind that the people posting in here who are parents are extremely good parents, no doubt whatsoever. It's just I would do things differently I think.

As to the question of whether or not I done right in butting in.
Well morally I think yes because I was standing up for the little girl.
And also morally but in a different way :lol: I should'nt have undermined the fathers authority with his child.
I doubt very much if I done anything except make him more angry, as JP said it's possible he took that out on her in some way and that isn't sitting very well with me that I may have inadvertantly made that little girls night worse, it's possible he would have just shouted and that would be that, it's also possible he shouted and punished in some way the little girl for my actions.

In my opinion did I do right?

I'm not sure, I don't think I should have said anything, so I guess no I did'nt do right.
But my intentions and reaction was to protect the little girl, thats just the way I am.

Jonno :cool:

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Cool, maybe the next time something like that arises you won't try to protect a child from a scolding that was deemed necessary by the parent. ;)

i remember why i was shouted at, and dammit i deserved it most of the time !

for me it seems parents who are too soft on their kids tend to get children who are diobedient.... so tell them off and they wont do it again.

You remember being shouted at and for what reason when you were 4?

Man I can't even remember 24 :lol:

Jonno :cool:

I remember getting a bamboo cane broken over my bum :lol:

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Originally Posted by DanB

I remember getting a bamboo cane broken over my bum :lol:

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Yeah, but that was last night and you paid to have it done.:P

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Originally Posted by Withcheese

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Originally Posted by DanB

I remember getting a bamboo cane broken over my bum :lol:

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Yeah, but that was last night and you paid to have it done.:P

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:naughty:


have you spent that tenner yet?

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Originally Posted by Withcheese

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Originally Posted by DanB

I remember getting a bamboo cane broken over my bum :lol:

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Yeah, but that was last night and you paid to have it done.:P

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No-one's judging you, you needed the money, mate.

Well Nikkid I have to take your side in this situation as a father of three boys under eleven I feel I may have some insight lol....Holding onto a 4 yr olds hand can be like holding onto a greased pig.The old addage of walking a mile in someones shoes comes to mind.We have no idea of the history of the child or father,had the child done this before,did the child have any disabilities.Maybe the father did loose it.Is anyone perfect.Just remember parenting is a totally relaxing and carefree existance with no stress involved.(ya right thats a dream...)Maybe the father had a temporary loss of emotions under extreme stress,who konows maybe he lossed another child in the same situation in the past.Sometimes its better to just keep our mouth closed as long as there was no physical abuse taking place......

Well thats another thing tho, a couple of weeks ago I heard some shouting in my back carpark (shared), went to see and there's this bloke about 50ish grabed this young lad (about 10y/o) and dragged him out the way of the car he was trying to load, now ok the kid was being annoying but this guy got hold of him by the scruff of the neck and litterally lifted him off his feet and basically threw him a good 6 ft, he still had hold of him but man that was manhandling in anyones eyes, I butted in then too and actually asked the guy if he wanted me to do that to him since he'd been annoying me all week and parking in my way. He told me to piss off :dry:
Thing is, this guy was the boys grandfather, not even his kid, now I'm sorry but if my dad done that to my son I'd belt him myself.
So how far is too far?

Interesting question, at what point do you step in? do you wait for the child to be hurt or stop it happening? or do you turn a blind eye? or do you ignor it and call the authorities?

Jonno :cool: