Owl's eye's are so big that they can't move in their sockets, so they need to move their whole head to see different stuff.
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Owl's eye's are so big that they can't move in their sockets, so they need to move their whole head to see different stuff.
The plural of Texas is Texases.
The middle east is the worlds number one holiday vacation right now.
Kaleidoscope is the longest word you can type with one hand on a keyboard.
A small flatfish, known as the Albanian Founder, which is usually found in the Pacific ocean, is a very important economic resource for Papua New Guinea.
It does not go well on Pizza.
"I'm a intelligent person" is an anagram of George (W) Bush.
Jimbo12345 Knows how to please older women
If you stare at the Sun long enough you can burst into flames.
However looking at the Moon has the opposite effect.
Relative electronegativity is directly correlated with the alphabetical order of atoms' atomic symbol.
The moon doesn't exist. It's just a weird spot that humans in their eyes.
Polaris, or as it is more commonly known, 'HD 8890', is known in the naval military field as 'The North Star'.
So called because it lies due north (magnetic) from Cock End, IL.
You can avoid paying the congestion charge for driving into London by reversing out of the zone along the road on which you entered.
Tony Blair is actually a gentic breeding effort to mix poodle with puddle.
prices in the shops around british holiday resorts drop by half if you can put on a convincing local accent
GPS machines are little midgets inside plastic boxes with maps alonside.
midgets are purely the observers eyes being long sighted
And vice versa.. Huge people are just the observers eyes being short sighted :)
and short sighted midgets are truely petrified of giants.
The littlest hobo was actually a trained cat, in a dog costume.
Big Bird was a racist
Kermit the Frog was actually an effeminate toad.
scandalous.
Miss piggy was a tranny.
Oh, and Martin Luther King was actually an insomniac, and saying he had a dream proves he's a lieing fuck.
James Bob's 'facts' are getting progressively less funny.
Their current humour level is 'painful'.
The last known case of smallpox in 1977 was due to illegal experiments performed by the CDC.
According to early Buddhist texts Donkeys are the one true fruit.
john skelton invented hip hop
All women secretly want you to put their picture on the internet after you've broken up with them. Preferably pictures of them in the buff.
The true way of winning the love of your internet peers is to post pictures of your ex-girlfriends with the words, "I've hit that" under them.
Only three people were actually killed during the Spanish Inquisition. The rest were mildly inconvenienced at worst.
Your ex girlfriend's what.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.Pretentious
Piss off. You made me go back to my post to check my punctuation :dry:Quote:
Originally Posted by AgrajagYour ex girlfriend's what.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.Pretentious
Butt, it looks like.
:madeyoulook:Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.PretentiousPiss off. You made me go back to my post to check my punctuation :dry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Agrajag
Chicken drumsticks stored in a mixture of cornflour and anti dandruff shampoo will keep almost indefinitely.
Making love to a beautiful woman is very much like going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way.
First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. Pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.
Lucy Punch is my ex-girlfriend.
http://z.about.com/d/tvcomedies/1/0/...lucy_punch.jpg
I've hit that.
:lol::earl:
Made me think of the old bucking bronco thing when you approach from the rear and mid way thro' moan her sister's name. Then hang on for dear life.
The secret of life is that Thewizeard is actually God!
It is possible for a human being to survive on Guiness and elder berries.