Yeah, apparently it's baseball bats at dawn, mate. He's even posting on the internets the instrument of your doom.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
I'll send you a crash helmet. You should be fine as long as you keep it on at all times.
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Yeah, apparently it's baseball bats at dawn, mate. He's even posting on the internets the instrument of your doom.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
I'll send you a crash helmet. You should be fine as long as you keep it on at all times.
Defenceless accountants :glag:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Bugger I updated it before you saw it in all of it's glory... you're no fun you know, you spoil all my best wheezes.
I did my mate's tax today, he's just grown some of what you youngsters call marijuana. He's a bit skint and when he said he'd bring me up some, I said alright and that he didn't have to bother paying me. So he came up to sign stuff earlier, said he thought he dreamed the marijuana part of the conversation, but would buy me a pint sometime :dabs:Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
Long story short, I would have been wopped like wot I expect you are but settled for a bottle and a half of the finest babycham monies can buy.
I bet Dave doesn't even own a baseball bat, the lying toerag. What self-respecting Englishman beats people to death with an American plank.
It's just not cricket.
Fuck rumbled already. I could buy one... christ knows the Americans need the money.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
That would annoy the fuck right out of me. True story. I'd go back and sabotage the fuck out of his tax returns.Quote:
Originally Posted by mankerI did my mate's tax today, he's just grown some of what you youngsters call marijuana. He's a bit skint and when he said he'd bring me up some, I said alright and that he didn't have to bother paying me. So he came up to sign stuff earlier, said he thought he dreamed the marijuana part of the conversation, but would buy me a pint sometime :dabs:Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
Long story short, I would have been wopped like wot I expect you are but settled for a bottle and a half of the finest babycham monies can buy.
Believe it, or believe it not, I am not wopped tonight. Neither am I babychammed. It's an unnerving state of being and I can wholeheartedly condemn it for anyone who's reading.
I did see it, Dave. I saw it and thought how sweet it was that even at your most mental and when you were trying to be intimidating, you still need to say that you're gonna get me with a bat. I honestly did see it as a compliment to the vision of me you must have. I'm not only better at the internets, but you also think I'd take you in a fair fight.Quote:
Originally Posted by arseclownDefenceless accountants :glag:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Bugger I updated it before you saw it in all of it's glory... you're no fun you know, you spoil all my best wheezes.
Anyway, haven't you learned yet that if there is no derision to be gleaned from your words, they have no value.
No-one will play by your rules, no-one will ever post on your blog and no-one is ever going to take you seriously.
I imagine this applies irl too.
orite. i saw that load of pish, couldn't focus on it properly what with being pished, and so decided not to bother reading it.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavisThat would annoy the fuck right out of me. True story. I'd go back and sabotage the fuck out of his tax returns.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Believe it, or believe it not, I am not wopped tonight. Neither am I babychammed. It's an unnerving state of being and I can wholeheartedly condemn it for anyone who's reading.
I thought that a similar thing happened to you.
And I didn't mind about the dopey dope. I do people's tax for nowt fairly often if it's something simple that won't take more than, say, half hour and I think they're a decent spud. I've always liked the old barter/karma swings/roundabouts going around/coming around thing.
That's commendable. However that fucking wophead procured your generous cervices under false pretences.Quote:
Originally Posted by mankerorite. i saw that load of pish, couldn't focus on it properly what with being pished, and so decided not to bother reading it.Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
I thought that a similar thing happened to you.
And I didn't mind about the dopey dope. I do people's tax for nowt fairly often if it's something simple that won't take more than, say, half hour and I think they're a decent spud. I've always liked the old barter/karma swings/roundabouts going around/coming around thing.
I filled up my mate's kindle and ipod the other day and the miserable fucker didn't even offer to buy me a pint. I knew he wouldn't. That's why I'd love to see his coupon when he finds all the R&B I misnamed as decent tunes.
:lol: your foresight legitimises your cuntery.
Talking about generous cervices (:schnauz:), squeams must be well loved up with STM&SD cos she's hardly posting here. I speak to her more in PM than anything.
When we're not talking about Dave and how he fails at life, she fills me in about how how fantastic this other guy is.
As you might imagine, I'm all ears. I lap up that kind of stuff.
You really have to admire the way she lost the zero and got with the hero.
Indeedy-do. You know you've broken Dave's heart again, don't you. That's the umpteenth time this year. They'll be transplanting an iron pump soon.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
How is he supposed to face the future without some hope of reconciliation. Someone will drop a balustrade on Sophie's beau's noggin and it'll be all your fault.
How inconsiderate of me.
I really should have thought it through and not revealed all that true stuff when there is a small chance Dave might read it and get upset.
One hopes that he doesn't get as angry as a very angry thing and start threatening people with internet baseball bats again.
Some fuckhead and his retarded burd showed up outside my building. She tried to kick down the entrance hollering about living here and wanting to get inside.
This went on for a bit, until the downstairs neighbor lost his shit, went outside, and threatened bloody murder. There was counting to five and stuff.
I was sleeping when it started, so woke up all bawa to the sound of yelling and kicking.
Glad it woke me up, tho. Because as the neighbor ran them off, and turned around to go inside, the door was locked, and couldn't get back, so he woke up the another neighbor, and it started again.
I'd have let him in, but he was too quick. And I was busy glagging anyway.
:dave: yet again http://i.imgur.com/UDH6B.gif
This is what fire hoses are designed for....Quote:
Originally Posted by Snee
Now I just need to get to sleep again.
This may take drastic measures. Where's dave's blog again?
Does that pub of yours have a balustrade. I expect dave will be needing one.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Hey, guys. This is Ron.
You should be nice to Dave, because it's not his fault.
He acts this way because his I.Q. is really low, and he's got an overactive imagination. He probably just wants to be friends with everyone but don't have the means to express himself like a normal person :( Before you're mean to him again, keep in mind that he also has no life at all, and has to fill the void spewing his lies on the internet :( It probably also doesn't help that he's been overcompensating for being 4'7" all his life. He grew up being bullied, thanks to this. He still wets his bed on a nightly basis :no:
Be nice to Dave, guys.
- Ron
Trust me
Hoi Peabody, sorry to hear you've come over all Gail Porter. Going forward, you will henceforth be renamed Bojak. :smilie4:
racist:lol:
Just for that, I'm gonna set this cunt on you...
:lol:
Quality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron_Ronson
:o. So it IS true.Quote:
Originally Posted by mankersmate
I didn't believe any of it until dave confirmed it :o
A far better sense of scale there ckrit. :yup:
I never lie.Quote:
Originally Posted by ckrit:o. So it IS true.Quote:
Originally Posted by mankersmate
I didn't believe any of it until dave confirmed it :o
I destroyed Mr T, you know.
- Ron
:glag: @ a lot of things i can#'t be arsed to quote
Mornsup, coots.
How the fuck did Carroll, the most expensive english football player in history, miss that.
The useless coot.
Cause he's a useless cunt that we cunningly made look good so we could fleece the scousers and then finish above them:01:
Cunning indeed. And my pished up bet to that effect is looking good ftw
Attachment 107812
I don't want any of your dirty welsh hair and i'm not impressed with your pishpoor screenshot:snooty:
something about cropping it
I don't know wtf I did there :unsure:
hao2deleteattachments
brb, shaving off the rest of my hair after being mocked on the internets by a welshman that "sounds like a wee lassie" :emo:
:lol: :lol:
I'll have you know that due to sucking on harsh fags, I've got a deep and throaty and completely masculine oration.
Edit: And also, I fixed the attachment problem. Go me.
stop it, stop it right now. That one was way too obvious.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Stuck a fiver each way on Weird Al for the national. It's a fucking certainty. To fall.
I put two squid on it earlier