Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
I thought you would be enjoying that.
City. Bloody hell.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
I thought you would be enjoying that.
City. Bloody hell.
I thought I said we should hide you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Something ElseQuote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
I thought you would be enjoying that.
City. Bloody hell.
You have no idea how much i have been enjoying it.
Cheating bastards.
No not cheating bastards.
Thieving cunts
No, not thieving cunts.
Mendacious mendicants.
That's it.
I was talking about that with Chalice just the other week.Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
I was of the opinion that you'd feel a slight tug at your heartstrings and feel a peculiar sadness at the downfall of your age-old rivals - whereas if it was liverpool facing imminent disbansion, I'd be filled with a real type of glee.
I forget what he opined. I don't think he likes puntsphere.
I don't think anyone does except Bo. And he's not even a real fan because it was his fault Man City won the thing in the first place.
I just went and tried to look up "disbansion". True story.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Snee
Mary3
Foreshadowing
Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
:eyebrows:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cycling/18229220
I knew him when he was a snot nosed mountain biker who dyed his hair platinum blond.:mellow:
unwritten board rule #354 - JPaul can talk about any subject wherever he likes.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyForeshadowing
Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
WB Mr Bannatyne :smilie4:
Then by your own egalitarian sense of laissez faire I should be able to murder freds whenever I like? :blink:Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbarossaunwritten board rule #354 - JPaul can talk about any subject wherever he likes.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
WB Mr Bannatyne :smilie4:
Like I can stop you... :rolleyes:
I barely follow written rules so keeping track of the unwritten ones is out of mind. Actually, enough talk about rules, they're fucking downers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbarossaunwritten board rule #354 - JPaul can talk about any subject wherever he likes.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
WB Mr Bannatyne :smilie4:
What does my son's condition have to do with rules? :angry:Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
:lol:
I typed out a post saying something along the lines of; 'unwritten board rule #355 - no jokes about molesting Down's Syndrome sufferers'
But then I wimped out.
Their eyes say "no", but their oversized tongues fail to form the word, so it's not molestation. :no:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Jamie Oliver jokes are definitely allowed.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabytemeTheir eyes say "no", but their oversized tongues fail to form the word, so it's not molestation. :no:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
The mockney cuntlord.
he's known here, but not as known as he must be in the UK...Quote:
Originally Posted by mankerJamie Oliver jokes are definitely allowed.Quote:
Originally Posted by megabyteme
The mockney cuntlord.
Attachment 113968Quote:
Bristol - Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver was stunned to learn that he was born with Down's Syndrome, a genetic condition caused by the presence of a 21st chromosome.
Oliver was publically challenged to be tested by Professor Walter McAllister of Cambridge University, who says the 33 year old beacon fellowship prize winner clearly exhibits every symptom of the disorder.
"I'm a big fan of his (Jamie's) work on television, but it's always been quite apparent to me, and all of my colleagues, that he suffers from trisomy 21" the Professor told the british press this morning, "his mongolistic facial features, the ringing timbre of his voice, his large thick tongue, the oblique fissures with epicanthic skin folds on the inner corner of his eyes, his obvious cognitive inadequacies... I suppose I'm really more a fan of marvelling over the fact he is working on television, than I am a fan of his actual work".
Oliver was reluctant to take the test, but was eventually persuaded by wife and former model Juliette Norton, "I just thought we should know, he really didn't want to have anything to do with the tests, I had to distract him with my keys so they could take the blood sample", the mother of 2 told a BBC reporter, "I've regularly wondered myself if he had a mental disability, he often drools while calling me jools, and if I leave him alone with the kids he'll start drawing on them with a texta, when I heard a professor suspected he could have down's syndrome I just knew it was true".
When asked if she was concerned about the possibility of the children having the syndrome she was quite candid, "haha, no no, these aren't his, I've never even slept with Jamie, yeah just let him suck my tits a few times, he thinks that is sex, no these are (cricketer)freddie flintoff's kids, little known fact, I was keeping it a secret but you know, rather be seen as a cheating whore than a tard fucker with spacker kids".
When reached for comment Jamie Oliver appeared upbeat and simply repeated "doc says I'm abnormal" over and over again in his trademark mockney accent, his publicist later clarified that Jamie was "unphased by the findings and will continue his work on the third season of his critically acclaimed series Jamie at home".
Professor McAlister's final thoughts on the issue were expressed at a press conference this morning "I think it's just remarkable that someone so unambiguously affected by Down's syndrome can rise to the ranks of world beating TV chef, and perhaps most remarkable of all is the fact his food is terrible. Seriously, he brought me muffins as a gift - for proving he is a retard mind you, which in itself is retarded- and they had human dung and toy cars strewn through them, his fame is apparently all on the back of his querky personality, which is entirely a result of his unfortunate genetic disorder".
:glag: :glagpinch: :glag:Quote:
"haha, no no, these aren't his, I've never even slept with Jamie, yeah just let him suck my tits a few times, he thinks that is sex, no these are (cricketer)freddie flintoff's kids, little known fact, I was keeping it a secret but you know, rather be seen as a cheating whore than a tard fucker with spacker kids".
srsly did the lol :earl: thing a lot
I think it's about time I asked what an Earl face looks like, before it's too late and I don't get the next 150 references to it.
My favorite part:
:DQuote:
Seriously, he brought me muffins as a gift - for proving he is a retard mind you, which in itself is retarded-
It may be an overused term but I was rolling on the floor laughing at that point :glag: & :glag:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Attachment 114087Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmacky
That's a weird way to read an article then.Quote:
I literally just posted in a different thread that you're not hard of getting it.
Five minutes ago. Maybe less.
That's what you get when you argue with people. Live with the consequences.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Arguing.Quote:
Originally Posted by mjmackyThat's what you get when you argue with people. Live with the consequences.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
I was talking you up in a manner befitting a proud uncle who'd just witnessed the first unaided and tentative steps of his hitherto manacled thalidomide afflicted nephew.
What do you call a thalidomide baby in a swimming pool?
bob
What's the difference between a thalidomide baby and a freezer?
Spoiler: ShowI can't bring myself to issue the punchline, but rest assured - it's punchily funny. I glagged guiltily for ages when my niece told me told this joke.
I think there's something wrong with me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
I'm slow witted. What's the punchline?
-doobs
A thalidomide victim goes up to an ice cream van and asks for an ice cream.
'Do you want a flake in that'? asks the ice cream guy.
'Doesn't matter, I'm gonna drop it anyway'
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by chavis
-doobs
A freezer has fish fingers on the inside? :dunno:Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
Fuck it.
A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.
You are sick.Quote:
Originally Posted by manker
BTW, I'm still loling ...
-doobs :whistling
i am indeed.
It kinda loses something, i think, when some cawk from the internet tells it but coming from a 16 year old girl, it was a genuinely shocking moment.
missus; he is still laughing
neice: yeah
missus; what did you tell him
neice; ask him
missus; hoi, tell me
me; ok <tells it>
missus; <stonefaced> you both disgust me.
I've told that joke, but it was just a regular baby.