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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
That should be interesting to prove. A man who hasn't been near me or spoken with me in months is stalking me.
Just call the fucking police, I'm game. I'm sure they'll be very sympathetic to you feeling your feelings and thoughts aren't being respected by someone whos thoughts and feelings you shit all over, especially someone who you can't possibly claim has ever posed any threat to you.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Am I looking like a decent chap still manker?
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
Am I looking like a decent chap still manker?
I'll tell you what you're looking like.
You look to me like a fourteen year old with a crush. A kid who found out on the internet that some girl he fancies had a great weekend with some other guy and that upset him so much that he simply had to see her to tell her how upset he was. But she wouldn't listen so through his tears, he typed a few posts in his wankpit pretending to also be having a good time in a hotel with some girls.
How you look, in case you hadn't caught on whilst reading my nuggety wisdom, is absolutely pathetic.
As to the decent chap conundrum. I'm not sure. A big part of my diagnosis in that respect was the way you treated your kids.
If you continue to put your infantile fixation before their happiness, then I suppose I will have to recalibrate my assertion.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
That'll be how things look when you don't have all the information. I'll tell you how I'm sure it'll look to the police.
A woman who lied to me for five years and shit all over my thoughts and feelings, wasn't content with having treated me like shit in rl, and decided that she should also take swipes at me online. Even after being told that it really wasn't very difficult, all she had to do was stay completely away fron me, and I would stay completely away from her. She couldn't help her self and conitinued to take digs at me. Finally I went to talk to her about this, and now she's complaining about how I'm stalking her. Hmm the stalking accusations look a bit the wrong way around here don't they?
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
That'll be how things look when you don't have all the information. I'll tell you how I'm sure it'll look to the police.
A woman who lied to me for five years and shit all over my thoughts and feelings, wasn't content with having treated me like shit in rl, and decided that she should also take swipes at me online. Even after being told that it really wasn't very difficult, all she had to do was stay completely away fron me, and I would stay completely away from her. She couldn't help her self and conitinued to take digs at me. Finally I went to talk to her about this, and now she's complaining about how I'm stalking her. Hmm the stalking accusations look a bit the wrong way around here don't they?
:lol:
Quoted for posterity because you're a delusional fuckwit.
The only time she's even acknowledged your presence at fst is in this thread earlier today to call you a sad old man.
Unless I've missed the cavalcade of digs you refer to. Which is particularly unlikely because you've made them up.
The point of proof is moot, however. The pertinent matter is that you've been told that if you go to her place again, she will inform the police.
Absolute proof of your unbalanced mind isn't necessary for two uniforms to pop around to your house and give you a friendly warning to back off. The police often do this because it frequently sorts out problems pre-emptively.
I imagine that your wife and children will be perturbed by their visit.
My point is that if you refrain from going around there again, you won't get reported and don't have to run the risk of your family's opinion of you sinking even lower.
Can you understand how it is better to definitely avoid this scenario by staying the fuck away than run the risk of it occurring.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Wait - run that by me again... reject is is stalking squeamous? :O
For all this time? That's creepy, man. :no:
The creepiest thing I ever did to megan was anonymously send her photoshopped animated gifs of her clothes disappearing, but this.... this is something else entirely :no2:
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Barbarossa
Wait - run that by me again... reject is is stalking squeamous? :O
For all this time? That's creepy, man. :no:
The creepiest thing I ever did to megan was anonymously send her photoshopped animated gifs of her clothes disappearing, but this.... this is something else entirely :no2:
you're the harmless non-threatening stalker, barbs:console:
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Proper Bo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Barbarossa
Wait - run that by me again... reject is is stalking squeamous? :O
For all this time? That's creepy, man. :no:
The creepiest thing I ever did to megan was anonymously send her photoshopped animated gifs of her clothes disappearing, but this.... this is something else entirely :no2:
you're the harmless non-threatening stalker, barbs:console:
Truth.
But just to be on the safe side, you'd better confiscate those .gifs in your capacity as an ex-prison guard.
And send them to me for safe-keeping or something else :lookaroun
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
I can't remember what I've done with them. They must be on the old pc. :(
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Barbarossa
Wait - run that by me again... reject is is stalking squeamous? :O
For all this time? That's creepy, man. :no:
The creepiest thing I ever did to megan was anonymously send her photoshopped animated gifs of her clothes disappearing, but this.... this is something else entirely :no2:
You should save those big gestures for Valentine's Day, otherwise you'll set the bar too high for the rest of your sex.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
:lol:
Quoted for posterity because you're a delusional fuckwit.
The only time she's even acknowledged your presence at fst is in this thread earlier today to call you a sad old man.
Unless I've missed the cavalcade of digs you refer to. Which is particularly unlikely because you've made them up.
Oh! manker, you really must see someone about this reading and comprehension problem you have.
http://filesharingtalk.com/threads/4...=1#post3621727
To which I sent this perfectly reasonable PM:
Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah
Her response was to take a much more subtle line taking digs at me, but they're still digs and they're all there for you to go look out for yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
The point of proof is moot, however. The pertinent matter is that you've been told that if you go to her place again, she will inform the police.
Absolute proof of your unbalanced mind isn't necessary for two uniforms to pop around to your house and give you a friendly warning to back off. The police often do this because it frequently sorts out problems pre-emptively.
I imagine that your wife and children will be perturbed by their visit.
My point is that if you refrain from going around there again, you won't get reported and don't have to run the risk of your family's opinion of you sinking even lower.
Can you understand how it is better to definitely avoid this scenario by staying the fuck away than run the risk of it occurring.
So your considered opinion is that I should just accept this woman behaving as she is towards me, because if it is, I'm going to have to disappoint you. I'd have thought it should be obvious that by choosing to act like a complete cunt towards me, she has absolutely no grounds for complaining about me behaving like a complete cunt towards her in return.
The threat of the Police is a novel one, I was expecting the threat of her having a couple of heavies come visit me, she and the people she hangs out with have a history of that kind of behaviour. So that was far more what I was expecting, but the Police is good with me if she wants to go that way. I can just see the opportunity to lodge a formal complaint for malicious accusations, and if I'm really lucky a visit before a magistrate where she can explain why she choose to treat me as she has to them. I'm OK with either option though so she can choose.
Next time you all want to go off accusing someone of stalking, you might just like to consider that you could not know half the fuck what you think you do, and reconsider posting advice to the bully about getting the Police in against their victim.
I look forward to your posts to Squeamous advising her to stay completely the fuck away from me, lest she gets her own nasty shit directed back at her. That is unless of course you all really are that fucked up in the head that you seriously believe a woman has the right to treat a man like a complete and utter piece of shit, and that the man isn't entitled to treat any such woman in exactly the same way.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
There is some good news to come from all of this.
I am now her equal, because I'm now just as willing to behave like she does :lol:
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Much of this being news to me, I can only say this.
You people in the U.K. live too close to each other.
Reject, without picking up a side (since I'm too hip for that), Squeamous has not addressed you in any way. The "example" you linked, in an attempt to validate your claim, was so weak and stretched that I feel you might actually believe in god or something crazy like that.
I wish someone would have outed the specifics earlier so at least I could have some perspective, fuck all of you.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
megabyteme
Do you realize the position you've created for yourself here, Reject? You came here as a stalker. Regardless of how much you like it here, make friends, etc., you will always be a stalker until you stop posting, and go away. It doesn't matter how many times you say you are over her. Don't care, or are wonderfully happy with your wife/life. You are, and will always be seen as a stalker. There is a permanent, underlying creepiness to that. Can you understand that?
I came here as me, to talk to chavis... because I suspected he might be pretty much the same kind of nasty malicious cunt I've encountered in other places... however he wasn't/isn't. He does this whole big being cunty towards people thing, but underneath that he's a decent enough chap, like most here TBH.
I've stalked no one, I've had no contact with Squeamous other than to tell her to stay completely away from me when she chose to take a dig at me. I posted three posts about Fire Doors, none of which were actually addressed to her (because I couldn't bring myself to address her), and none of which contained anything other than information that she (and others) might find useful.
There are no posts by me directly addressing her or anything she has said anywhere on this board, because I wouldn't lower myself to address someone who behaves as she has towards me, and as I know she does towards others. If you'd like to produce some evidence which contradicts that statement please feel free to piss away some of your life finding and quoting them.
The posts I have made about the subject of 'that woman' have been in response to you and others raising the subject of her on thread after thread, not because I've been wandering around here raising her as a subject repeatedly.
In light of how I have behaved it would be fitting for you to apologise to me, for being so completely and utterly wrong, but I won't expect you to do that. I know you've been indoctrinated to defend women, who in your eyes can do no wrong no matter how they behave.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
...
Reject, without picking up a side (since I'm too hip for that), Squeamous has not addressed you in any way. The "example" you linked, in an attempt to validate your claim, was so weak and stretched that I feel you might actually believe in god or something crazy like that.
...
You are entitled to see it as weak, it is nonetheless what I said it is, and it kind of fucks up completely the claims manker made. You might like to consider that what to you might seem weak, could be perceived as something totally different by a man who had that woman lie and manipulate him for five years. From where I'm sitting she shouldn't be addressing me at all, let alone taking digs at me. It takes a particular kind of coward to take any kind of dig at someone they don't have the courage to stand and look at the face of.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
A woman who lied to me for five years and shit all over my thoughts and feelings, wasn't content with having treated me like shit in rl, and decided that she should also take swipes at me online. Even after being told that it really wasn't very difficult, all she had to do was stay completely away fron me, and I would stay completely away from her. She couldn't help her self and conitinued to take digs at me. Finally I went to talk to her about this, and now she's complaining about how I'm stalking her. Hmm the stalking accusations look a bit the wrong way around here don't they?
:lol:
Quoted for posterity because you're a delusional fuckwit.
The only time she's even acknowledged your presence at fst is in this thread earlier today to call you a sad old man.
Unless I've missed the cavalcade of digs you refer to. Which is particularly unlikely because you've made them up.
Oh! manker, you really must see someone about this reading and comprehension problem you have.
http://filesharingtalk.com/threads/4...=1#post3621727
To which I sent this perfectly reasonable PM:
Quote:
Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah
Her response was to take a much more subtle line taking digs at me, but they're still digs and they're all there for you to go look out for yourself.
Ahh, you got me, I don't stalk squeams' posts as much as you do. I missed that one dig. Which, in all fairness, was the one time your existence was tenuously hinted at compared with your systematic - and daily - character assassination.
Yet you maintain that you're the victim. You said that it seems like she is stalking you.
You're a deluded fool.
There has been nothing before nor since. If your words are to be believed, then you confronted her because of the continued 'digs' but there have been none at all. Apart from the stab in the heart you perceive when you read that she has a life, and it's quite good.
That's not a dig, idiot. That's someone talking about what they did that day.
We all know that you confronted her and made up the crap about milfs in a hotel room because she posted about the new guy, which in turn dangerously exacerbated your ongoing mid-life crisis.
Which, incidentally, explains the comedy moustache.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
You are entitled to see it as weak, it is nonetheless what I said it is, and it kind of fucks up completely the claims manker made. You might like to consider that what to you might seem weak, could be perceived as something totally different by a man who had that woman lie and manipulate him for five years. From where I'm sitting she shouldn't be addressing me at all, let alone taking digs at me. It takes a particular kind of coward to take any kind of dig at someone they don't have the courage to stand and look at the face of.
I'm outside to this, more so than everyone else commenting, but what is clear is that you're trying to fit the only time she mentioned reject (as a name) to actually fit you. Sorry, you don't own it, just as I don't own macky/jacky/mary/gary/susan. It also seems that you conveniently left out all contexts, such that the reject persona posts a bunch of whining wank and I once tied a knot between you and chavis. So like I said, a far stretch.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Ahh, you got me, I don't stalk squeams' posts as much as you do. I missed that one dig.
It was a dig at chavis, not at reject. Congrats, now you're both wrong.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
:lol: You're a wag.
I could tell you all about the MILFs in the hotel bar, about where they worked, and what lovely women they were. However I'm not going too. I don't care if you believe me. I know it's true.
As for her life going quite nicely, I'm really unsure why you think I would give any kind of shit about how her life is going at all?
As for 'her' well you're entitled to not be able to read and comprehend, just don't expect me to give your opinions any credence, given that even when the facts are pointed out to you, you still chose to come back at me and fail completely to tackle the woman who is behaving badly. I mean really, how hard would it have been for you to actually address her and tell her she really shouldn't be taking digs at a man who she has already shit all over, especially in light of her not having the courage to actually look that man in that face.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
It was a dig at chavis, not at reject. Congrats, now you're both wrong.
FFS! Jacky, do try to keep up and exhibit some kind of comprehension beyond that of a 4 year old.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
I'm outside to this, more so than everyone else commenting, but what is clear is that you're trying to fit the only time she mentioned reject (as a name) to actually fit you. Sorry, you don't own it, just as I don't own macky/jacky/mary/gary/susan. It also seems that you conveniently left out all contexts, such that the reject persona posts a bunch of whining wank and I once tied a knot between you and chavis. So like I said, a far stretch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm making it all up. Like I should give some kind of fuck whether any of you believe me or not. I can only state the facts, if you're all stupid enough to leap about defending the bitch just because she's a woman, that's your lookout.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
FFS! Jacky, do try to keep up and exhibit some kind of comprehension beyond that of a 4 year old.
I read at a first grade level. Also, you haven't even come close to making your case on this. Manker can be excused for not being present to either.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
:lol: Making my case? WTF! I haven't got any case to make.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
I'm outside to this, more so than everyone else commenting, but what is clear is that you're trying to fit the only time she mentioned reject (as a name) to actually fit you. Sorry, you don't own it, just as I don't own macky/jacky/mary/gary/susan. It also seems that you conveniently left out all contexts, such that the reject persona posts a bunch of whining wank and I once tied a knot between you and chavis. So like I said, a far stretch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm making it all up. Like I should give some kind of fuck whether any of you believe me or not. I can only state the facts, if you're all stupid enough to leap about defending the bitch just because she's a woman, that's your lookout.
The fact that you replied with ^^^this^^^ would mean that you're so enveloped by rage that you forgot who you're talking to. Also, you've already forgotten what I said. Also, you're on a downward spiral again.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Oh Jacky :D
That's very good, but I'm feeling no more rage now than I was last night when I watched the cowards face drop as she quickly slammed the door on the man she hasn't been able to look at since he called her out for lying to him deliberately to manipulate his thoughts and feelings.
This not behaving like a decent chap all the time, is highly amusing if I'm honest, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
I'm glad to see this all out in the open.
I think we can all see how unhinged this guy is now.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
I'm glad to see this all out in the open.
I think we can all see how unhinged this guy is now.
You can call me unhinged all you want, the facts of my posts are true. You could of course challenge Squeamous about the claims I've made? I'd be really interested to see her version of events, I'm sure the lies would provide me with hours of entertainment. I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you though. I suspect she won't answer you, because she knows I would challenge any lies she told with direct questions, and she can't answer them.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Ahh, you got me, I don't stalk squeams' posts as much as you do. I missed that one dig.
It was a dig at chavis, not at reject. Congrats, now you're both wrong.
I dunno, dewd.
Was there not a negative connotation to reject there in the subtext.
That's how I read it.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
I'm glad to see this all out in the open.
I think we can all see how unhinged this guy is now.
You can call me unhinged all you want, the facts of my posts are true. You could of course challenge Squeamous about the claims I've made? I'd be really interested to see her version of events, I'm sure the lies would provide me with hours of entertainment. I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you though. I suspect she won't answer you, because she knows I would challnge any lies she told with direct questions, and she can't answer them.
You're the one so eager to talk about your personal shortcomings to complete strangers, not squeamous.
I have a few questions for you...
Did these lies (as you perceive them) impact you financially? Were they taking food out of the mouths of your children?
Did these lies (assuming they were indeed lies,((you've already gone a long way to proving you're delusional))) hurt your family? Was there a physical threat?
What kind of a lunatic, love-lorn bomb-blast victim doesn't realise that if an ex-squaddie with a dodgy moustache, who's been purposefully intimidating you on the internets, calls to your door out of the blue, that wouldn't be a bridge too far?
You're like a badly-written Dexter guest star or something.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
It was a dig at chavis, not at reject. Congrats, now you're both wrong.
I dunno, dewd.
Was there not a negative connotation to reject there in the subtext.
That's how I read it.
reject is a negative connotation.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
I dunno, dewd.
Was there not a negative connotation to reject there in the subtext.
That's how I read it.
reject is a negative connotation.
So is chavis. :idunno:
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
I mean really, how hard would it have been for you to actually address her and tell her she really shouldn't be taking digs at a man who she has already shit all over, especially in light of her not having the courage to actually look that man in that face.
Well really, I can't perceive any kind of crime.
All that's happened is that you got friend-zoned.
On the other hand, you've told your tale of woe in fortyleven different ways for six months, threatened to upload porn, stalked her to her dwelling and now you're - for some reason I can't fathom - trying to get me and others to chastise her.
Seems to me that the scales are tipped heavily toward you being an irrational, obsessive and malevolent big sissy.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
OK last time, after this you can take this up with her, I've been addressing this crappy subject for month after month now, because you lot can't leave it alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
You're the one so eager to talk about your personal shortcomings to complete strangers, not squeamous.
Really, you should read her posts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chavis
I have a few questions for you...
Did these lies (as you perceive them) impact you financially? Were they taking food out of the mouths of your children?
Did these lies (assuming they were indeed lies,((you've already gone a long way to proving you're delusional)) hurt your family? Was there a physical threat?
What kind of a lunatic, love-lorn bomb-blast victim doesn't realise that if an ex-squaddie with a dodgy moustache, who's been purposefully intimidating you on the internets, calls to your door out of the blue, that wouldn't be a bridge too far?
You're like a badly-written Dexter guest star or something.
As I've repeatedly pointed out the lies were a complete betrayal of my trust.
I never had a moustache when she knew me, so that came as a complete surprise to her last night, so there's been no ex-squaddie with a dodgy moustache involved in this.
You can all claim repeatedly that she has grounds for being in fear of me, the truth is she knows that's completely untrue, she knows I've never hit a woman, and she knows I wouldn't stoop so low as to make her the first, because I told her so.
Now as I've taken the time to answer your questions when you've repeatedly raised this subject for month after month, I think I've done my bit. Feel free to take any further enquires you may have about it, up with the woman who made this public this morning.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
...you've told your tale of woe in fortyleven different ways for six months
Yes every time one of you raised the subject on a thread I have addressed your posts about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
threatened to upload porn
As I've previously pointed out she knew I didn't have any porn of her, so I'm really interested in how you think my question could ever have been perceived by her as a threat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
stalked her to her dwelling and now you're - for some reason I can't fathom - trying to get me and others to chastise her.
Seems to me that the scales are tipped heavily toward you being an irrational, obsessive and malevolent big sissy.
Believe what you will, just address your shit at her, I'm done. There are no reasons why I am going to piss away any more of my time addressing this issue with you.
-
Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
stalked her to her dwelling and now you're - for some reason I can't fathom - trying to get me and others to chastise her.
Seems to me that the scales are tipped heavily toward you being an irrational, obsessive and malevolent big sissy.
Believe what you will, just address your shit at her, I'm done. There are no reasons why I am going to piss away any more of my time addressing this issue with you.
That's because you know you're wrong and I'm right.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
That's because you know you're wrong and I'm right.
No, it's because it's been raised over and over again by so many of you on so many different threads that I am bored to death with it, as I should imagine is everyone else.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
That's because you know you're wrong and I'm right.
No, it's because it's been raised over and over again by so many of you on so many different threads that I am bored to death with it, as I should imagine is everyone else.
I imagine that you actually believe that. I think you also believe that you're the victim in all this.
Like really and truly. You'd swear to it on pain of death.
This is exactly why you get described as mental or unhinged.
Like if it was just me who was saying; 'you're wrong', your position would be tenable - but it's EVERYONE.
Literally the only point of view people have is your point of view, the one sided version you've presented. Squeams hasn't said a word yet despite this, not one person in six months has said; 'you've got a point there, fella'.
A person with a proportional sense of self would understand that it's because they're behaving in a way which is utterly immoral.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
manker
I imagine that you actually believe that. I think you also believe that you're the victim in all this.
Like really and truly. You'd swear to it on pain of death.
This is exactly why you get described as mental or unhinged.
Like if it was just me who was saying; 'you're wrong', your position would be tenable - but it's EVERYONE.
Literally the only point of view people have is your point of view, the one sided version you've presented. Squeams hasn't said a word yet despite this, not one person in six months has said; 'you've got a point there, fella'.
A person with a proportional sense of self would understand that it's because they're behaving in a way which is utterly immoral.
Oh! Go on then, what am I doing, or have I done that is immoral?
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Hold up; I'll just trawl though your posts and detail every instance in which you've acted in a way that is contrary to the usually accepted manner in which people converse.
Right after I've finished watching this DVD of England's greatest moments of RWC2011 whilst snorting crushed up parma-violets.
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Re: Unethical fuckwits...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rejectOfAllah
Quote:
Originally Posted by
megabyteme
Do you realize the position you've created for yourself here, Reject? You came here as a stalker. Regardless of how much you like it here, make friends, etc., you will always be a stalker until you stop posting, and go away. It doesn't matter how many times you say you are over her. Don't care, or are wonderfully happy with your wife/life. You are, and will always be seen as a stalker. There is a permanent, underlying creepiness to that. Can you understand that?
[I'm a self-deluded nutjob]
Do you seriously believe your "defense" of "wanting to talk to chavis" would convince anyone, anywhere?
Prodded, or not, it is quite clear that you hold great resentment for "that woman", and a restraining order would be vastly easy for her to get. Beyond your stalking, the age difference between you and your stalkee is enough to make semi-intelligent people feel a sense that there is something wrong with you, and that you are chasing a fantasy FAR longer than a healthy-minded individual would.
Either pull yourself together, or get some real therapeutic help. She has no interest in you, and most likely NEVER did.