Can anybody talk me down from buying a bicycle?

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I've told that joke, but it was just a regular baby.

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I find referential humour to be wasted on infants.

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I've told that joke, but it was just a regular baby.

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I find referential humour to be wasted on infants.

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I find my seed to be wasted on infants.

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Originally Posted by manker

i am indeed.
It kinda loses something, i think, when some cawk from the internet tells it but coming from a 16 year old girl, it was a genuinely shocking moment.

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Wood. Would Both.

:lol: :o

You cad.

For the love of God man ... don't do it ... oh - sorry, I thought we were still trying to talk mj out of buying that bike or did I miss something. While we're on the topic of old deformed child jokes, what do you call a kid with no arms or legs?





second base :D

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Originally Posted by Asylum

While we're on the topic of old deformed child jokes, what do you call a kid with no arms or legs?





second base my superior :D

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Sad but true.:(

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

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Originally Posted by Asylum

While we're on the topic of old deformed child jokes, what do you call a kid with no arms or legs?





second base my superior :D

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Sad but true.:(

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Bile-spewer.

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Originally Posted by Snee

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Sad but true.:(

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Bile-spewer.

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Sad but true.:(

It took my bike forever to get here, but I got it in yesterday and took it out for its first ride in the evening. Overall, a pretty good experience even though I had not properly adjusted the seat height, handlebar angle or made sure the front tire was properly inflated and I managed to take a small tumble on my way back home. I'll ride it down to the bike shop this weekend to get a bike pump.

Oh yeah, did I mention a tumble? A thunderstorm had just finished but I was too excited to wait for a blistering sun, so I took it out for its first spin for maybe 5 miles. On my return, not two blocks away from my home I was riding on the sidewalk since I live downtown. There was a guy and two cunts walking in the opposite direction. The guy had the sense of reason to stay right, but the two ignorant cunts felt it was their due privilege to expand the entire width of the sidewalk, a wide one mind you, and eventually I was forced into a patch of grass. I learned something about road bikes, they don't ride really well in wet grass. So the tire decided to do a little slip and slide until the wheel got caught up between the grass and sidewalk eventually forcing me into a maneuver I hadn't used since little league.

Attachment 115186

Basically I scraped up my shin, and it was swollen for the night, for which I iced it. Then I kept it wrapped up in gauze and antibacterial ointment. Looks fine now.

Attachment 115187

The bike is OK, suffered pretty much no damage. Now I just have to break those mountain bike instincts.

This is a picture of the bike --->http://content.imgbox.com/aao0vuMH.jpg<---

I would feel compelled to laugh except I feel sorry for your bike.
Could you please provide a picture of it just so I can be assured that it's OK.

PS fuck your leg.

You've got some serious skinny ankles going on there, fat boy.

I worry about myself when I can grip my middle finger and thumb around my lower ankle. I take it as my body telling me I need to eat. I'm somewhat reassured, however, that even Americans suffer from twig ankle syndrome.

Also what you need is a good jersey to inspire more respect from the locals.

Since I was unable to find a drug lord one I suggest maybe this.

Attachment 115189

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Originally Posted by chavis

You've got some serious skinny ankles going on there, fat boy.

I worry about myself when I can grip my middle finger and thumb around my lower ankle. I take it as my body telling me I need to eat. I'm somewhat reassured, however, that even Americans suffer from twig ankle syndrome.

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I was going to put in my post that he mistakenly posted a picture of his arm but I was confused because I've never seen an arm that small either.

Clearly you're all being thrown off by the massiveness of my calves

We might have made different suggestions if we'd known the bike was going to be ridden by someone with the body of a 10 year old. That's alright, maybe you can just grow into it.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

I would feel compelled to laugh except I feel sorry for your bike.
Could you please provide a picture of it just so I can be assured that it's OK.

PS fuck your leg.

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P.S. there was a picture, FST just doesn't recognize imgbox as a legitimate image hosting service :idunno:

Seriously guys, I'm not getting it. They look like perfectly normal ankles to me.

Attachment 115243

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Also what you need is a good jersey to inspire more respect from the locals.

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I was wearing my predator's asshole t-shirt, true story. If that doesn't demand subservience, I don't know what will.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Also what you need is a good jersey to inspire more respect from the locals.

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I was wearing my predator's asshole t-shirt, true story. If that doesn't demand subservience, I don't know what will.

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:pimp:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

Also what you need is a good jersey to inspire more respect from the locals.

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I was wearing my predator's asshole t-shirt, true story. If that doesn't demand subservience, I don't know what will.

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You didn't tear the shirt did you?



-doobs :ermm:

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Originally Posted by brotherdoobie

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I was wearing my predator's asshole t-shirt, true story. If that doesn't demand subservience, I don't know what will.

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You didn't tear the shirt did you?



-doobs :ermm:

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Camouflage still intact. My shin took the the dive for all my body parts, the clothing, and the bike. On top of that I must have been up and back on the bike in less than half a second. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to call them selfish cunts or stalk them with laser beams.

I decided to ride my daughter's bike to pick up some doobage last summer and wrecked it twice in five minutes. I laid on the front brakes both times.

Mind you, I had polished off a liter of Busmills before the trip. But still ...


-doobs.

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Originally Posted by brotherdoobie

I decided to ride my daughter's bike to pick up some doobage last summer and wrecked it twice in five minutes. I laid on the front brakes both times.

Mind you, I had polished off a liter of Busmills before the trip. But still ...


-doobs.

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Slightly less athletic, but still with copious amounts of alcohol as a theme, I went to dinner one night with my wife at rather upscale restaurant, and during the feast was caught up in showing off my knowledge of agreeable local wines. It was a great night, the wife was suitably impressed and rosey cheeked, and I was quite merrily warm and relaxed myself. We returned home (not of our own volition), to find a pony had gotten out on to a whole paddock by itself. Right you bastard! we got out the quad bikes and chased the smartarse around that paddock with the bikes till it's eyes were bugging out. Not very PC, but something I still remember and have a quiet cackle about every now and then.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

On top of that I must have been up and back on the bike in less than half a second. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to call them selfish cunts or stalk them with laser beams.

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Adrenaline brought on by extreme embarrassment will do that to you.

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Originally Posted by Artemis

to find a pony had gotten out on to a whole paddock by itself. Right you bastard! we got out the quad bikes and chased the smartarse around that paddock with the bikes till it's eyes were bugging out.

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I take it you had more horsepower.

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

On top of that I must have been up and back on the bike in less than half a second. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to call them selfish cunts or stalk them with laser beams.

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Adrenaline brought on by extreme embarrassment will do that to you.

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I wish I crashed into them.

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

Bloke I know cycles to the station, leaves it locked up in the cycle locks, and gets the train to work.

A couple of months ago he had his bike stolen, "fair enough" he thought, shit happens, so he claimed it on the insurance and bought a better bike.

A few weeks later that got stolen too, (even though locked in a CCTV area blah blah blah), so he claimed that on the insurance too and bought an even better bike...


Last week the bike thief got sent to jail. Result! It was in the local paper and everything. :01:


Anyway, yesterday when cycling home he appears to have gone round a bend too fast and fell off this super duper bike, ripping a hole in his suit and all kinds of shit.

So there you are.

This has really nothing to do with what you're asking, by the way, except that it too involves bikes.

And an imbecile. :dabs:

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As a bleeding heart liberal I think bike thieves should have their dicks* nailed to a busy main road.


*Still attached to their bodies obviously...I'm not an inhuman monster.

Took it out for a planned 50 mile ride today (round trip to and from my brother's). Ended up doing 25 miles and having my brother drive us back home. My neck and ass were fucking killing me. The bike is clearly way too small for me (when I thought it might only be slightly too small when I bought it). I have the seat adjusted comfortably, but I can't in any way ride erect, I'm having to lean too far forward (the handlebars don't go any higher). I'm also afraid to put too much weight on the seat itself by riding with no hands as I have it extended just about as far as the indicator allows.

I want to install an extension for the handlebars, but the guy at the bike shop refused to even advise any solutions other than "it won't be safe" and "your bike is too small for you" (I think he didn't give a shit since I didn't buy it there) :/
I'm thinking I can an install some sort of square or u-shaped bar with an extra clamp, is this workable or am I going to end up putting too much torque on the whole fork mechanism?

Maybe swap the bar for a trekking/butterfly bar, or a bullhorn bar (bullhorn bar won't do much, however), or get something like this: http://www.chainreactioncycles.com/M...?ModelID=51648

A longer stem from there might help too.

Gonna look silly if the angles end up extreme, though.




I'm sorry about not linking you a fitting tool or a diagram of some sort, I guess I thought you'd thought of it already.

http://www.competitivecyclist.com/za...LCULATOR_INTRO
http://www.ebicycles.com/bicycle-too...izer/road-bike

etc.


I've got a pretty good notion of what size road (and what size mtb) frame I should have by now, so I just check if the manufacturer does something particular with frame sizes and up- or downscale a size accordingly if necessary, before buying. Or have, the two times I picked up new frames for myself (not whole bikes. The last bike I bought I checked in the store (one-size folding bike), and the one before that, I checked my existing bike, then used a couple of fitting tools for good measure).





edit: if the bar is simply too low, a steam raiser might work too. Scroll down a bit for examples: http://sheldonbrown.com/harris/stems/index.html

Or you could just get a new fork and stick a bunch of spacers under the stem, and cut the steerer tube higher.


Obviously, anything I suggest comes with the qualification that it'll potentially make the bike look bad, will tack on weight, and people might call you a nub/fred.

editII: The very first thing I'd do is check whether you can move the saddle any further back, and look at a longer stem, or one with steeper rise, or both. If you're really lucky, that might be workable.

I'm going to try and be helpful as I can but whereas anyone with any experience could tell you precisely what is wrong within 10 seconds of seeing you ride this is all going to be throwing shite out there and see if any sticks.

Fifty miles is an extraordinarily long way to ride for a novice so I'd be surprised if a lot of things didn't end up hurting.Since it's your "ass" and neck though I would first suggest the "unaccustomed stress" thing before starting to panic and throw good money after bad.Other than that a "sore ass" is usually a symptom of having your saddle tilted forward instead of level or preferably very slightly backward to hold you in place and distribute the stress properly on your pubic bones / coccyx.Neck pain could be attrutibrted to the same thing -putting too much weight forward.

As for sizing going old school to simplify to something you can check in a few seconds.Stand over your bike wearing whatever shoes you wear when you ride(feet on either side of the top tube).Lift the handlebars/front wheel up.You should have about 2 inches of clearance.Anything close 1-4 inches you can live with.Greater than that you may have a problem.

Next thing when you sit on your bike you should (again shoes will have a big effect here) and place your heels on the pedals you be able to "backpedal" and have your legs fully extended (but in solid contact with the pedals) at the point of greatest stretch.That will ballpark you to correct saddle height and if your current seatpost is long enough.
Next still sitting on your bike place the cranks parallel to the ground and with the bll of you feet over the spindles of your pedals a plumb line should intersect the bony protrudence just under your kneecap.Slide your saddle forward/back until you achieve this.
Lastly with the top of your handlebars somewhere between 1-4 inches below the top of you saddle (height of bars determined more by hip flexibility than anything else) and hands on handlebar drops your front axle should be obscured or at least in danger of it.

Note cycling shoes/clipless pedals have a big effect on what the optimal height is but since you are setting up to ride a TT in the Tour de France I think if you give your body time to adapt then anything ballpark will do until ,if ever you decide you want to really start pushing.

PS Snee probably knows more about everyday stuff than I do, so understand everything I say is merely suggestion.That and a pro "breaking in " a slight variation in setup would be seriously fucked on a straight out of the box 50 miles.Don't believe me then try typing for 2 hours straight and tell me if your fingers don't hurt.

I thought you knew what local bike shops were for- getting them to size you up on one of their bikes before ordering online. What kind of return policy does the online store have? It might be worth the cost to get the proper size.

Just to put some emphasis on the butterfly bar part (and the switching fork part, I guess):

We built up a hybrid for my younger brother a while ago. Only, while the frame was marketed as a hybrid frame, it's got compact road bike geometry and sizing. And as you might know, the size in inches (or cm) for a road bike can be more than two inches off compared to mtb (or hybrid sizing. If it's not somewhere in the middle) for the same size person.

So what he's got is essentially a small road bike with mtb gearing. What makes it work, and work well at that, is the fact that he kept a couple of inches of steerer tube, stuck some spacers on, and put butterfly bars on top (he never wanted drop bars to begin with). I think his stem is about level with the saddle, or slightly higher.

He toured with me last summer, and rode as far as me. Afaik, the bike is just right for him.



Idle does have a good point, however - you only just started, so it might well also be an issue of not being used to it. I would assume, however, that your lbs guy isn't completely full of shit, so it probably is too small, as you say. I'd get a second opinion, though.

And for what it's worth, I'd rather have a too small, than a too large bike. You've got lots more options to adjust how it fits you, that way. Spacers under the stem, seat post with offset (how you get the saddle to go further back), wide range of possible stems etc etc.


Could you run your measurements through one of those fitting tools and tell us how the results compare to the size of the bike?


edit: Oh, and as far as riding erect? Yeah, I don't do that on my cyclocross bike, either. Just had a really quick look, and I put the bars at around two inches below saddle height, when last I changed it around. I do use an offroad drop bar, so it's shallower, and somewhat flared.

Conan O'Brien's Serrotta, built to fit him, apropos of nothing:

Attachment 115481

Snee's right,except for extreme cases the smaller the frame the better.Lighter stiffer and so more responsive. Giant actually builds there bikes that way with extended seat and sloping top tubes allowing for proper height and drop.
Actually they didn't even use to slope the top tube and used spacers and stems with rise to make up the difference.
Like Snee also says though do the calculations and see just how far (if any) you are off in fit. If it's less than a couple inches it's a pretty easy fix.

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Originally Posted by Snee

Conan O'Brien's Serrotta, built to fit him, apropos of nothing:

Attachment 115481

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I didn't even realize that they still made Serrottas.

Seven foot six NBAer Shawn Bradley making a very large bike look very small.

Attachment 115482

Hall of Famer Bill Walton was quite a cyclist actually.

Attachment 115483

Wonder if they still make Holland's?

Seriously, that's a lot of info and I am really appreciative of all the feedback. I'm sorting through it all now, so just some quick notes.

• I have two spacers under the stem and if I put any more, I'd have no stem left clamp the bars to. I'm looking at those stem extenders right now to see if it will work.
• I ordered the only size they had available, and I did recognize the numbers as being on the smaller end. I just checked and I have about 5" between my taint and the frame with no shoes on. I had the same thought process of thinking I could easily make something smaller fit than something too large to fit. Since I am such a pneub I didn't really have a sense with the numbers. So with that, I'm going to keep the bike because I still think it's awesome and I'm going to tweak it to fit.
• I know I have the saddle height right, but I'm going to try tilting it back a little.
• After my long rest, I don't feel all that sore (just some very mild butt bruising), so it can't be all bad, right?

Do you have erectile dysfunction?

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Seriously, that's a lot of info and I am really appreciative of all the feedback. I'm sorting through it all now, so just some quick notes.

• I have two spacers under the stem and if I put any more, I'd have no stem left clamp the bars to. I'm looking at those stem extenders right now to see if it will work.
• I ordered the only size they had available, and I did recognize the numbers as being on the smaller end. I just checked and I have about 5" between my taint and the frame with no shoes on. I had the same thought process of thinking I could easily make something smaller fit than something too large to fit. Since I am such a pneub I didn't really have a sense with the numbers. So with that, I'm going to keep the bike because I still think it's awesome and I'm going to tweak it to fit.
• I know I have the saddle height right, but I'm going to try tilting it back a little.
• After my long rest, I don't feel all that sore (just some very mild butt bruising), so it can't be all bad, right?

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Perhaps it would help if you posted some pics of yourself with the bike in positions where the experts here could see how far off you are on sizing. Maybe hold a ruler near your legs to indicate spacing.

I imagine as my kids get bikes and begin to outgrow them, this info will be valuable for me as well.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

After my long rest, I don't feel all that sore (just some very mild butt bruising), so it can't be all bad, right?

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Might just be due to you not being used to the saddle. But if it keeps being that way for weeks or months after long rides, it's probably too narrow. Could be too broad, but I doubt it considering what generally ships with road bikes.

The stem you've got on now, does it have a downward tilt? If so, flip it.


What idol is refering to is this.





How to figure out saddle width.