RealtY
Do corporate scumbags ever have a moment of realization that their lives are void of meaning?
Printable View
RealtY
Do corporate scumbags ever have a moment of realization that their lives are void of meaning?
only when jail is imminent
Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
only the nuts
is taking the rise out off someone an euphemism?
Actually its call a Leg Amputation.
Why is a "stroke" considered a golf term?
It's not as crude as a tosser
Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?
it is because they do not wash
where does the wind go, other than up my kilt?
hot air balloons (immediately after passing through your kilt)
Which is the other side of the street?
the side where you started helping the chicken across the road
how much is too much?
When you wake up in jail with a cellmate named Bubba who keeps staring at your arse.
Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
because they know you are not listening
can you freeze steam?
just fart in a bag and stick it in the freezer
Can I get laid in the Virgin Islands?
only if you are a virgin
what would happen if water was 4% alcohol?
The mouthwash industry will go out of business
Is it legal to use the AM radio in the afternoon?
only if you use a 24 hour clock
why have dogs not got nine lives?
cuz they can't catch cats
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
go to the front of the queue
why cant I think of another question this morning?
cuz Pluto is in the limelight
What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?
to prevent crooks milking the system. I don't know why they shred, the method they used before was grate.
can memory mattresses suffer from alzheimers?
only when the sheep don't bathe
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars/pubs have parking lots?
it is an area for smoking, that is what you call forward planning
why don't they put the top of the beer in first, that would stop the need for the delay when topping off?
cuz U can't say bottoms up if you do that
If U become born again, R U required to have two bellybuttons?
only if have a naval occupation
what would you call a desert if it got flooded?
an ocean
How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
your letters are returned unread
where is the perfect example kept?
hidden
If bars aren't allowed to serve drunk people, then why is McDonald's allowed to serve fat people?
because they live off the fat of the land
why do they call them deep sea divers when they jump in?
Because they're emotionally dedicated (aka deeply involved) to the plunge
Why dive down when you could also fly up?
you need to be full of gas to fly
soldiers march, why not april?
Because she is my daughter so they ain`t coming anywhere close*
Why does grass have to be greener on the other side?
* not really although April is a nice name
so that you will not get confused when mowing the lawn
why does all pop music sound the same?
Because video killed the radio star and now it is really only Simon Cowell in a shed producing everything
Why do birds suddenly appear?
because they really come out off the blue.
why does it always rain on me? I think we are starting to wax lyrical.
Because the gods think you are English
If you plant a bulb why doesn`t a light tree grow?
it depends if you plant it at ohm, or watt bulb you use.:wacko:
why do nettles sting you even if you have not harmed them?
because they are evil little buggers, plants have feelings too
If space is a vacuum then does that mean Hoover owns it?
if it has moved out off Britain it must be Dyson
is your area subject to flooding?
Only if I leave the tap on
Why do the wheels go round and round on the bus?
to create greater profits for Stagecoach
was the barrow the first vehicle, only one wheel available.
NO, have you not played BC`s quest for tyres? (I spell it with a y)
Attachment 171614
Do sub-atomic particles only appear under water?
only when they are part of trident
why don't we wear wellies upside down?