How To Get To Heaven When You Die

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Originally Posted by xfrodobagginsx

The one that most literally translates the original manuscripts.

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Ah, but which original manuscripts?

Aren't there manuscripts which were deleted/not included because they didn't square with the orthodoxy of the day?

Certainly there is no doubt that the church (in all it's many guises) has played fast and loose with history in order to best project whatever image suits best at the time and the Bible itself was not immune to manipulation.

So, why believe in the King James version over the Gnostic Bible, for instance?

frodo fails at reading the bible anyways.

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Originally Posted by FatBob

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Originally Posted by xfrodobagginsx

The one that most literally translates the original manuscripts. The KJV is the one that is most accepted as the best literal translation. It has been for hundreds of years. The problem is that because the english language has evolved over the last couple of hundred years, it has become more and more difficult to understand, which is why folks are using so many other translations today. The modern king james version is an updated version of the kjv. I use it alot.

Merry Christmas!!!

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merry xmas .

why is christ called christ ? :wacko:

isnt he Yeshu of Nazareth ?

where did this name jesus christ came from ?

you could have called him timmy

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His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.

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Originally Posted by Sextent

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Originally Posted by FatBob

merry xmas .

why is christ called christ ? :wacko:

isnt he Yeshu of Nazareth ?

where did this name jesus christ came from ?

you could have called him timmy

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His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.

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Yeshu was a fairly popular name - it could just as easily have been Timmy the Messiah

What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven? :blink:

@Biggles: Or Brian as far as the Flying Circus of Monty Python thought.. :lol:

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Originally Posted by Biggles

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Originally Posted by Sextent

His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.

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Yeshu was a fairly popular name - it could just as easily have been Timmy the Messiah

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Really matters not one jot. We're called Christians not Tims.

Well some of us are both, obviousement.

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Originally Posted by tralalala

What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven? :blink:

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Hey you guys invented this one so I reckon you must have first dibs on it.

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Originally Posted by Sextent

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Originally Posted by Biggles

Yeshu was a fairly popular name - it could just as easily have been Timmy the Messiah

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Really matters not one jot. We're called Christians not Tims.

Well some of us are both, obviousement.

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:shifty: thought never crossed my mind.

Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?! :huh:

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Originally Posted by tralalala

What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven? :blink:

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Piece of cake, convert to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.

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Originally Posted by tralalala

... parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

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:noes:

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Originally Posted by tralalala

Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?! :huh:

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I imagine religious people on both sides of the fence (jews/christians) have fairly similar views of the other lots' chances of salvation.

Just look to your own, yeah?

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Originally Posted by Sextent;

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Originally Posted by tralalala;

What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven? :blink:

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Piece of cake, convert to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.

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Why? The guy you believe did all those thingies and told all those tales and stories (I'm going according to Billy Connoly's Crucifixion sketch) - Was jew himself.. Why not follow him all the way and becometh a Jeweth as welleth? Obviously he was doin something right getting a billion people to be loik him.

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Originally Posted by tralalala

Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?! :huh:

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As far as I can see the original Jeebus was Jewish and spoke only to Jews - it kind of got out of hand after his death. So he must have been talking about a Jewish heaven. We only get in on default. I think he compared us to dogs getting scraps at the master's table as I recollect. :fst: *random smilie usage - never seen this one before*. So I reckon you have first shout although frodosexytime will no doubt tell us there are conditions and small print. :ermm:

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Originally Posted by tralalala

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Originally Posted by Sextent;

Piece of cake, convert to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.

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Why? The guy you believe did all those thingies and told all those tales and stories (I'm going according to Billy Connoly's Crucifixion sketch) - Was jew himself.. Why not follow him all the way and becometh a Jeweth as welleth? Obviously he was doin something right getting a billion people to be loik him.

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You don' really have a very firm grasp of what christianity entails, do you?

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Originally Posted by Sextent

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Originally Posted by FatBob

merry xmas .

why is christ called christ ? :wacko:

isnt he Yeshu of Nazareth ?

where did this name jesus christ came from ?

you could have called him timmy

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His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.

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Originally Posted by Biggles

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Originally Posted by Sextent

His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

So he was Jesus, The Messiah.

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Yeshu was a fairly popular name - it could just as easily have been Timmy the Messiah

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oh ok . :happy:

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Originally Posted by tralalala

Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?! :huh:

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jesus(jesus'ses) dad makes all the decisions , and he is jew :mellow:

why doesnt timmies talk about jesuses dad ?

no dad = no son you know

Of course Christians talk about Jesus' Dad as well, he's God like. Kind of pops up the odd time.

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Originally Posted by Sextent

Of course Christians talk about Jesus' Dad as well, he's God like. Kind of pops up the odd time.

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so they have 2 gods ?
awesome .

and whats he called ? yeehaa ?

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Originally Posted by FatBob

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Originally Posted by Sextent

Of course Christians talk about Jesus' Dad as well, he's God like. Kind of pops up the odd time.

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so they have 2 gods ?
awesome .

and whats he called ? yeehaa ?

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Who has 2 Gods. :blink:

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Originally Posted by Sextent

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Originally Posted by FatBob

so they have 2 gods ?
awesome .

and whats he called ? yeehaa ?

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Who has 2 Gods. :blink:

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xtians !

jesus god and dad god :huh:

Arthur "2Gods" Jackson?

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Originally Posted by FatBob

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Originally Posted by Sextent

Who has 2 Gods. :blink:

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xtians !

jesus god and dad god :huh:

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Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

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Originally Posted by Sextent

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Originally Posted by FatBob

xtians !

jesus god and dad god :huh:

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Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

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so jesus isnt really god ? :wacko:

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Originally Posted by FatBob

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Originally Posted by Sextent

Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

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so jesus isnt really god ? :wacko:

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It's a 3 for 1 deal.

Poor Holy Spirit gets left out all the time.

He's the coolest one, imo.

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Originally Posted by Sextent

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Originally Posted by FatBob

xtians !

jesus god and dad god :huh:

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Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

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No. I don't think she can.

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Originally Posted by chalice

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Originally Posted by FatBob

so jesus isnt really god ? :wacko:

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It's a 3 for 1 deal.

Poor Holy Spirit gets left out all the time.

He's the coolest one, imo.

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You play with him if you want, I cant be arsed with people trolling tonight.

Watching t'arras having a beer.

Going to watch Extras as well like.

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Originally Posted by Snee

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Originally Posted by Sextent

Oh ffs, you can do better than that.

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No. I don't think she can.

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Oh she can, no doubt about that.

Right so.

Is it a new Extras?

The feature length special.

He's doing that rather than a two part finalé this time.

That'll do then.

I'm doing what you're doing.

It's three in one fun.

t'arras on Virgin, Extras on Freeview, tempting Apple in me.

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Originally Posted by Sextent

It's three in one fun.

t'arras on Virgin, Extras on Freeview, tempting Apple in me.

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:lol:

What time's Extras on at like?

21:00

It's on BBC NI.

Excellent. Cheers.

I bid you a good night's viewing then and we shall adjourn on the Morrow.

And to your good self.

I shall probly be posting here as well.

That would have spoiled the triumvirate motif tho'

did anyone Get To Heaven then? :unsure: