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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

If he found a magic golden leg opener I still wouldn't care.

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Why, Darth. That's a great premise for a movie, like. At first the guy goes around sleeping with the girls he likes. Then the girls who were stuck-up all throughout his childhood. Then he decides he wants the ultimate night of Scarlett Johansson, followed by Jessica Alba, and topped off with Eva Mendez. Then he realizes the power can get him in bed with the first lady for the perfect setup of scandalous blackmail. But then he realizes the first lady has a golden leg opener detector. And the movie turns all sci-fi mind-fuck TMNT style. Then in Denzel Washington style, the poor lad has to run through 20 buildings while the army is on his tail. The movie ends with the dude realizing that the leg opener was codenamed cupid because it can affect other people's emotions towards each other. And just how any good movie should end, he turns the entire army on towards each other. The closing scene is 10,000 soldiers entrenched in each others thighs and arms, helmets coming off their bodies as if they were on fire, kevlar being used for lumbar support, gun silencers being used as buttplugs, and walkie talkies being used to communicate obscenities.

The post-credits bonus scene should be the guy bribing a shawerma place into giving him free food by having Jessica Alba, Eva Mendez and Scarlett Johansson pose nude for an advertisement. Because every movie coming out after today must reference The Avengers.

The real magic golden leg opener looks like this:

Spoiler: Show

Attachment 118424

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Originally Posted by Artemis

Maybe you should get the guys phone number and ask him yourself?

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Good point. Isn't there some kind of "autistic spectrum" phone book? My guess would be that it is encoded in every box of Lucky Charms cereal, and only they can sort out the data. Or is that Alpha-Bits? :unsure:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

of "autistic spectrum" phone book? My guess would be that it is encoded in every box of Lucky Charms cereal, and only they can sort out the data. Or is that Alpha-Bits? :unsure:

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It's been a long time since I've spotted a box of alpha-bits in the grocery store. Coincidentally, literacy seems to have dropped.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

of "autistic spectrum" phone book? My guess would be that it is encoded in every box of Lucky Charms cereal, and only they can sort out the data. Or is that Alpha-Bits? :unsure:

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It's been a long time since I've spotted a box of alpha-bits in the grocery store. Coincidentally, literacy seems to have dropped.

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Wot choo talkin about Willis?

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Originally Posted by Artemis

Wot choo talkin about Willis?

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Depends, who am I talking to now?

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by Artemis

Wot choo talkin about Willis?

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Depends, who am I talking to now?

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I am legion and I am many. :blink:

Great, it has become self-aware.

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Originally Posted by manker

I think your best attribute is that sometimes you make me wish I had two cawks <3

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Just two? :ermm:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

I would squeeze that until it popped. Out of love For research.
:happy:

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:smilie4:

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

The real magic golden leg opener looks like this:

Spoiler: Show

Attachment 118424

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A girl with one leg shorter than the other would be perfect for Oleg. She'd never be able to escape.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

A girl with one leg shorter than the other would be perfect for Oleg. She'd never be able to escape.

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Consequently, I don't think he'd ever catch her either. Did you just post that because you can't see spoilers?

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

A girl with one leg shorter than the other would be perfect for Oleg. She'd never be able to escape.

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Consequently, I don't think he'd ever catch her either. Did you just post that because you can't see spoilers?

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I posted it in response to the spoiler, because your ketone looks like a lady with one longer leg than the other with her legs open.

I have access to FST through PCs most of the time.

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

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Originally Posted by IdolEyes787

The first two likely answers that spring to mind is that he had guys like Darth Cicero as his competition and that he had guys like Darth Cicero as his competition.

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Actually I left a very important part of the story out. The fella was Chinese. He had the stereotype of a little cute mini-him surrounded by a cushiony bush going for him. And he couldn't drive away in a getaway bicycle if he wanted to.

On a serious note, how the fuck should I know. A random guy got laid because of how he made it the centre of his consciousness at the age of 13. If he found a magic golden leg opener I still wouldn't care.

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When you said this,

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

When I was in high school years ago, the first kid to get some action was an aspie. He was so interested on exploring sexual behaviors he beat even the "normal" kids to it.

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you made it sound like people who have autism-related problems have no social deficiencies and can easily get laid if they want to.

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Originally Posted by OlegL

you made it sound like people who have autism-related problems have no social deficiencies and can easily get laid if they want to.

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That's completely true, why are you having such a hard time with it?

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

because your ketone looks like a lady with one longer leg than the other with her legs open.

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I'll keep that in mind when I want to force you to imagine my big cock and balls.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

ketone

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Hey, remember that joke I made earlier on this week about European scientific standards?

Good.

GHB is not a ketone.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I'll keep that in mind when I want to force you to imagine my big cock and balls.

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I find Glycolic acid to be a great fit. What with one ball sagging under the other and all. I've also kept your personal shafting needs in mind when I imagined the carbonyl group in place.

It's chemical astrology. You must be a little gayer than me Darth, because the image of a woman with her legs spread open precluded my spotting the fact that she said ketone.

And perhaps she's more lesbian than you are gay.

I'm not giving you a one liner that will give you direction during your next drunken stupor. I'm a little more difficult to get in bed than that. :snooty:

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Date rape.

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If you don't stop making idiotic comments, I will crush your fucking skull. I really hope you will die soon.

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Originally Posted by OlegL

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Date rape.

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If you don't stop making idiotic comments, I will crush your fucking skull. I really hope you will die soon.

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He's a heavily armed idiot, this may not end well for you. :idunno:

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Originally Posted by OlegL

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Date rape.

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If you don't stop making idiotic comments, I will crush your fucking skull. I really hope you will die soon.

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I'm pinching your face.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

I'll keep that in mind when I want to force you to imagine my big cock and balls.

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:sick:

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

Hey, remember that joke I made earlier on this week about European scientific standards?

Good.

GHB is not a ketone.

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Hey, if you had any respect for education you'd have explained why I'm wrong. I haven't studied chemistry past the age of 18 and that was 14 years ago. I wouldn't have minded learning something. Instead you leapt upon my ignorance to try to make me look small, which is the sort of mean spirited small mindedness that made me dislike you in the first place.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Hey, if you had any respect for education you'd have explained why I'm wrong. I haven't studied chemistry past the age of 18 and that was 14 years ago. I wouldn't have minded learning something. Instead you leapt upon my ignorance to try to make me look small, which is the sort of mean spirited small mindedness that made me dislike you in the first place.

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Is this an updated speech from when you last yelled at your chemistry teacher when you confused a carboxylic acid with a ketone?

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Hey, if you had any respect for education you'd have explained why I'm wrong. I haven't studied chemistry past the age of 18 and that was 14 years ago. I wouldn't have minded learning something. Instead you leapt upon my ignorance to try to make me look small, which is the sort of mean spirited small mindedness that made me dislike you in the first place.

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Going right for the ball sack? You've made this very personal, now.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Is this an updated speech from when you last yelled at your chemistry teacher when you confused a carboxylic acid with a ketone?

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If in this scenario I'm the teacher, I want to have a yard stick.

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Originally Posted by Darthy

For the casting requirements, how good are you at doing a Keira Knightley, squeams?

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Pretty good from the navel up and the neck down.

Attachment 118724

How come the the most interesting parts of your post are invariably contained within the edit line.

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Originally Posted by manker

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Originally Posted by Darthy

For the casting requirements, how good are you at doing a Keira Knightley, squeams?

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Pretty good from the navel up and the neck down.

Attachment 118724

How come the the most interesting parts of your post are invariably contained within the edit line.

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That produced a big grin that hasn't stopped yet.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Is this an updated speech from when you last yelled at your chemistry teacher when you confused a carboxylic acid with a ketone?

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Actually, my chemistry teacher was so useless I gave up trying to learn anything from him. I decided to read the set text books cover to cover and did alright that way. The only thing he ever did for me was take me clubbing and give me a funny anecdote about the time he pissed my mate's bed.

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Originally Posted by manker

How come the the most interesting parts of your post are invariably contained within the edit line.

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BBcode sizing is such a drag. I prefer to be cheeky in smaller fonts, but without the effort.

'cheeky' :lol:

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Originally Posted by Darth Cicero

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Originally Posted by manker

How come the the most interesting parts of your post are invariably contained within the edit line.

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BBcode sizing is such a drag. I prefer to be cheeky in smaller fonts, but without the effort.

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Does that mean you didn't actually edit anything?

It means that after I called him on it, he made up something slightly amusing because it was better than saying; 'i duno lol'.

Ffs, Mary.

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Originally Posted by manker

It means that after I called him on it, he made up something slightly amusing because it was better than saying; 'i duno lol'.

Ffs, Mary.

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The edit line had nothing to do with his post, so I'm having difficulty buying anything other than he injected commentary there.

You're probably right.
No one would make a mistake, correct it and add commentary as an afterthought.

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Originally Posted by manker

You're probably right.
No one would make a mistake, correct it and add commentary as an afterthought.

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I know, that would be ridiculous.

P.S. I don't think I've ever done that.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

Does that mean you didn't actually edit anything?

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It does.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

The edit line had nothing to do with his post, so I'm having difficulty buying anything other than he injected commentary there.

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After looking at the nearly skin-colored Keira Knightley areolae extendly, you're telling me you don't see the connection between her and a yard stick?

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Originally Posted by Darthy

Spelling mistake. Or so I might want you think. Or SO I want you to think,

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Mary :smilie4:

I give up on smiley #4