Ugly souls are not allowed in the UK so it couldn`t happen, well apart from anyone with an EU passport or just like to jump in the back of a lorry.....
If fish have fingers does that mean they can type?
Printable View
Ugly souls are not allowed in the UK so it couldn`t happen, well apart from anyone with an EU passport or just like to jump in the back of a lorry.....
If fish have fingers does that mean they can type?
no because they cant see very well, they have a birds eye.
talking about fish, do they weigh themselves on their own scales?
Sure they do but fake the weight readings when they tell ms fish
As we are doing a theme, as fish have tails does that mean they are great anecdotally at a dinner party?
yes, everybody could have a whale of a time
are all fishermen taxed on their net profit?
No, they don`t have to pay further tax on their nets (just the gross fish). Doesn`t matter how many fish they *cough* didn`t catch over the quota
If I have a bunch of holes and some string can I make my own net?
no. it is a profession to connect them.(wonder how they store the holes?)
are car park attendants born or invented?
I believe they re-spawn from those coin meters
If you used a spoon on an electron shell would you get any yolk?
only if you use it as an eggsample of how to split the atom
if you fill in uniforms will you get a benchmark?
I guess if you are fat enough and are in a race? (sorry I tried to work out the underlying reference but couldn`t)
What flavour are Jellyfish?
the taste will send Chivers down your spine
who conceived jelly babies?
That is too obvious, that would be Mrs Jelly Mum
If gravity stopped would everything stay in place unless you jumped?
if gravity stopped people would be laughing at funerals
we have experienced four dry days in a row, why is there not a hosepipe ban?
Because our policemen are busy catching people doing 31 in a 30 zone so don`t have time to enforce it. Just not the same money in hosepipes
I have an opposable thumb (two actually, I am blessed), does that mean I have to have an argument with it?
police don't 'catch people' unless they arte doing more than 33 in a 30 zone. you are allowed a 10 percent variation on your speedometer.
I have two too (is that a wee skirt?) and I have not been blessed. you can suck one and do what you like with the other one :whistling
is it too late for me to enter for the Olympics?
Winter one I have you booked in for the Ski Jump
Is jumping up and down better than down and up?
(Bob - know the UK speed limit rules far too well :()
I hope it is the whiskey jump
I will answer that if you jump down first
if you damage a disc are you a record breaker?
only if your breaks fail under hard manoeuvre and you hit the wall
Is the chocolate the same inside all the Olympian medals?
no, silver and bronze contain laxative to make them run better
is it true that north Korean sprinters are for the high jump?
They prefer to go underground and not pop up too high
As we know there is agent orange but did the yanks make other flavours?
yes, harry lime (when the third man was released I did not go to watch it because I thought it was about cricket:cry:)
should Handel's water music be played in a swimming pool?
Neither it is a copyright infringement from me when leaving my tap running that he re-recorded... bloody pirates
If negative feedback is good in a amplification circuit why is it so bad for political parties that want to be heard?
it is because they are m p and not mp3
do Chinese women always look forward to an election?
You have cultured me out on that one, I can`t think of any reference without playing the google game so well played sir (not that it was a competition as such)Quote:
Originally Posted by bigboab
I`ll just answer yes (please don`t say it was a play on erection)
Why do Salmon bother to swim upstream when John West's factory is just on the corner?
because they are almost there they are already half canned
why are bank staff called tellers when they wont?
Since FATCA they will.
If the plural of "mouse" is "mice", why is the plural of "house" not "hice"?
because sailors claimed the hi ce
why do eiders not sink when they are covered in down?
It is all to do with the volume of gas retention which makes them a viable flotation devices but not one I`d recommend unless a student (in which case sure it will float)
When a tree looses it leafs does it pay one months sap to them?
no, because technically they are drop-outs
at what age are you supposed to change from belt to braces?
Not an age specific, it is the time that socks with sandals is also a practical idea
Do snowboarders dress like multi-coloured twats so that skiers can avoid them like a traffic cone?
you will have to excuse them. they suffer from snow blindness(if it is no blindness then they are just daft)
why is there no uphill skiing? (I used to prefer whizz kiing when I was younger)
if it is like uphill gardening then that would be illegal in many states (but, I assume, laws have progressed a lot)
If words are mightier than the sword how comes we didn`t have king Wordsworth and instead have the Windsors?
they have, in anagram style. the king 'in words'
when the poles (no, not them Poles) change will it still be up north, down south?
Yes because we`ll run them through a diode bridge rectifier
Is Einstein still right with formula E=MC^2 if we turn the lights off?
yes, if you can sit down before you switch it off and it still switches off.
how far have you got to travel to be twice as far away?
If smoking a joint then probably just to the coffee table distance. There is a logical answer to that one which pains me to say so poo to that.
If light can travel really rather fast then how fast is dark?
it is faster than light owing to the fact that it can retreat at the speed of light, though it is rather slow when night is falling.
why did astronauts not fall off the moon?
Because the (astro)crosses have already blocked their route.
Can I buy time?
yes but watch what you do with it, if someone clocks you will do time.
I think I have fairies at the far end of my garden. how do I chase them away?
My understanding from watching "little kingdom" is that you need a gnome. I can`t be sure but that seems safe bet
is a switch on/off or a change of state?
no you need to emigrate for that.
mountainous of flat country?