Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
WARNING this post will have content of length that is overwhelming for the average forumular consumption. You could potentially be wasting too much of your time. I just saved you like 15 minutes, you're welcome. Bye.
If you happen to be uber bored and like getting juicy candid details of someone else's personal life, then by all means continue. This will be another Dave thread that's not actually about Dave but he'll probably show up to try to make it about him anyway. Don't take my word for it, I asked Carly and that's what she told me.
I realized why I'm so mean to Dave now, why I probably tend to find him to be more detestable than anyone else here does (including squeams). He reminds me so much of my nasty father. I don't think about this sperm donor ever, but then I made an offhand comment today in doob's apocalypse thread. It clicked exactly how similar Dave and my father are. Overly paranoid, delusional, stalking, insecure, vain, inept, lying... the whole kitten caboodle [sic]. I kept a collection of emails from my father when he tried to get back into contact with me approx. 8 years after we ceased all contact. It was a while back and he had just gotten on the internets, at which point he found me through my university website's profile. I don't have any of my replies to him since everything was lost from sent mail or something like that.
In the spoilers I'll post my father's emails to me, spanning the length of about half a year of infrequent contact. It's start to finish, him finding me, and then a permanent parting of ways, if that was ever a major fucking euphemism. You've probably come to know me as anonymously candid at this point, so it shouldn't be a big fucking surprise that I'd be doing something like this. If you don't want to bother with the spoiler mess, I am also linking the tidy single pdf document, no download necessary, so the pics in spoilers are just for anyone who doesn't want to go off site. A big waste of my time I know, nobody's going to bother to read this except by accident when they're dead wasted? Well, I'm just one accommodating badass, aren't I?
Online PDF:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/91728287/Father-Prick-Redact
-There are commentary notes to fill in context where needed, same thing in the images (which are basically the PDF broken up into smaller parts)
The story of my father Dave
Re: Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
Probably worth mentioning that he was in his late 50's at the time of the exchange, which would explain why he was so late in meeting the internets.
Re: Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
So who's Luke's father then?
Re: Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
Lukes don't have fathers. Arletta is his mother.
Re: Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mjmacky
Lukes don't have fathers. Arletta is his mother.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oik6dXm-0l0
Re: Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
For me, Dave boils down to a similar concept to Marv's thoughts on hitmen in Sin City (2005):
Quote:
Marv: I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad.
:happy:
Re: Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
IdolEyes787
Are you trying to tell me that anyone who brings a strap to a man is the daddy?
Re: Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
Re: Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
Re: Dave: Mary, no. I am your father.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
IdolEyes787
30 seconds to load an 8s clip @360p... no youtube, no :no:
