manker vs chalice: Idol Custody Battle Royale.

I should begin, I suppose, by admitting a degree of culpability in this very serious matter. I haven't, of late, been the best of role-models, being something of an absentee fatherly influence to that fully poseable action figure we know and tolerate as Idoleyes. Hey, I've got responsibilities. Shit needs doing and it doesn't get done itself. Get off my back, you murmuring mob of mauve motherfuckers. I'd taken a special interest in the forumular development of Idol quite a whiles back and I'm willing to concede some areas of neglect in that benevolent undertaking.

When first he camest here, this veritable Caliban, subject like all to the initial pinioning and summary humiliation, I grew to glean in him a crooked, dormant potential. This kid could be great, I thought. Given the benefit of my circumnavigations of the block, why, he could be something the likes of which we're yet to experience. I took him under my bingo-wing from afar, and probed and pushed his progress like a phantasmagorical Magwitch to his burgeoning Pip. I generously demonstrated my best chicken-chasing techniques seeking only future glory for him and a vicarious, profound thrill for myself reserved only for the top tennis coaches and Floyd Mayweather Snr.

Alas, a crack has fissured the marble. Something unearthly and untoward has infected my protege, and he's not the champion I blueprinted. I'm attributing this to the Don King types who stalk these waters, stick and carroting my boy with delusions of humanity. Namely, manker the anchor. His maternal magnificence pervades every crevice of this board and his influence is overwhelming, such is his relentless prolificness. He's watering down my fighter with his logic and reason. I honed a Tyson, not a Eubank.

Give me back my killer. Court is now in session.

Legend.

You can have him - should he chose to back-track down the wide and gently sloping paved route I've carefully laid out for his navigation in favour of the precipitous and narrow verge-way you'd have him traverse.

You see, he's not the wild-eyed and callow fellow he once was, gone is the devil-may-care air of a man who wasn't sure where to lay his forumular hat. The longing to belong was already very much in evidence, I simply had to provide some stability and lightly place my hulking post count where his furtive gaze couldn't fail to fall.
While our young hero was searching for purpose, you were too busy with forum tyros and lost causes. Building them up before their inevitable supernova. This high risk strategy has its own rewards and, certainly, no one does it better than your good self. It's to the benefit of every onlooker and does you no little credit.

I prefer to invest my time in longer term assets, mulching their roots with the goodness of sound idealism and addressing their ailments with the soothing balm of shared perspective.
If you'd looked beyond the lip, the Tyson you regarded with wanton ambition was actually a latter day Ali.

While you two sort that out, I'll continue shagging him in the central area of my 1963 VW Kombi whilst wooing him on the idea of eloping without an actual marriage.

Summary of all posts above: Idol has two dads and a molester, and they are all disappointed in him.

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Summary of all posts above: Idol has two dads and a molester, and they are all disappointed in him.

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I think Idol's still trying to figure out how to initiate his sleepy entrance to this whole debacle, and here you are trying to give him an inn.

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Originally Posted by mjmacky

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Originally Posted by megabyteme

Summary of all posts above: Idol has two dads and a molester, and they are all disappointed in him.

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I think Idol's still trying to figure out how to initiate his sleepy entrance to this whole debacle, and here you are trying to give him an inn.

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All the love in the air drew me like a moth to the disappointed mob. I've got to work on my analogies a bit... :(

As usual, I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

As usual, I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

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My scrotum has become alit on a lantern jaw.

Ew :pinch:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Ew :pinch:

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Oh don't be sheepish.