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Why Americans Don't Learn English
They don't intend going to England.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
The do speak engrish in a way thaey just can't speel properly.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Let's see...
Population of English
VS
Population of Americanos + Population of Microsoft english
= ?
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Nah, they speak American. Why not just call it that.
People who actually do use English should "get a life lol" apparentement.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
Nah, they speak American. Why not just call it that.
People who actually do use English should "get a life lol" apparentement.
lol
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
They don't intend going to England.
My mate Rod told me that only 1% of their population has a passport. Also, he went on to explain, 65% of their population wouldn't be able to find England on a world map. So it's little wonder they never intend to visit their betters.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"
The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."
The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
The soldier didn't say anything else. He leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogs
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"
The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."
The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
The soldier didn't say anything else. He leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."
:lol: :lol: :lol: Hilarious!!!
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
The Dutch are really good at foreign languages.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
The Dutch are really good at foreign languages.
as would any other country if they where surrounded by dominating nations and are so overly populated they get squeezed out.
My babe has an aunt, whom is of usian nationality, has lived in dis frozen fridge of a country for over 30 years, (norway) has brought up 3 sons here.
Here american accent which covers her norwegian like a hot juicy syrup is so atrocious it makes me cringe at every word.
Keeping a foreign accent can be cool, sexy and even a statement of holding onto national heritage.
Is it that she is plain deaf, stupid or merely unaware of this rape of pronunction, i have no clue.
maybe laziness?
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
The Dutch are indeed "good" at foreign languages however the Irish are the best, not to mention their power of diplomacy...the following discourse has been translated from Arabic into Engrish for your comfort... :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello". The voice at the end of the phone says "Hello Mr. Hussein, it's Paddy here. I'm just ringing to let you know that we've declared war on your country." SH smiles to himself, "Come on Paddy", he says, "there's no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn't stand a chance." Paddy replies, "No, no, we've had ourselves a meeting, and we've decided to declare war on you."
So SH says, "OK Paddy, now listen, I've got an air force of over a thousand planes, what kind of air force have you got to match that? It'd be over in no time." So Paddy says, "Well my lad's got himself a hot-air balloon, and my brother used to work at an airport." Hussein laughs, "Oh come on, you've not got a hope". "Hold on a sec, Mr. Hussein, ", Paddy says, "we'll just have a quick meeting." So off he goes and has a quick meeting. "Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war."
So SH says, "Right then Paddy, well you know, as well as the air force, we've also got about a thousand tanks. How are you going to match that." "Well," Paddy says, "I've got an old austin, and my cousin down the road has got a tractor." "Get real, " says SH, "that's no match at all." So
Paddy says, "Hold on, I'll just go and have another meeting." "Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war."
SH thinks this is just amazing, "Well how many soldiers have you got Paddy?". "Well," says Paddy, "there's me, my kid, me 4 cousins, and they all had sons, and there's Bill down the road.... I reckon I could get together about 30." Laughing openly now SH replies, "Come on Paddy, I've got 10,000 highly trained fighting men at my disposal. I think you'd better go and have another meeting." "I will", says Paddy, "I will."
"Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're not going to declare war on you after all." "At last, " replies SH, "What made you change your mind?" "Well, it's those 10 thousand soldiers you see. We can't declare war on you because we've not got the facilities to keep all those prisoners!"
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by nigel123
The Dutch are indeed "good" at foreign languages however the Irish are the best, not to mention their power of diplomacy...the following discourse has been translated from Arabic into Engrish for your comfort... :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello". The voice at the end of the phone says "Hello Mr. Hussein, it's Paddy here. I'm just ringing to let you know that we've declared war on your country." SH smiles to himself, "Come on Paddy", he says, "there's no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn't stand a chance." Paddy replies, "No, no, we've had ourselves a meeting, and we've decided to declare war on you."
So SH says, "OK Paddy, now listen, I've got an air force of over a thousand planes, what kind of air force have you got to match that? It'd be over in no time." So Paddy says, "Well my lad's got himself a hot-air balloon, and my brother used to work at an airport." Hussein laughs, "Oh come on, you've not got a hope". "Hold on a sec, Mr. Hussein, ", Paddy says, "we'll just have a quick meeting." So off he goes and has a quick meeting. "Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war."
So SH says, "Right then Paddy, well you know, as well as the air force, we've also got about a thousand tanks. How are you going to match that." "Well," Paddy says, "I've got an old austin, and my cousin down the road has got a tractor." "Get real, " says SH, "that's no match at all." So
Paddy says, "Hold on, I'll just go and have another meeting." "Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war."
SH thinks this is just amazing, "Well how many soldiers have you got Paddy?". "Well," says Paddy, "there's me, my kid, me 4 cousins, and they all had sons, and there's Bill down the road.... I reckon I could get together about 30." Laughing openly now SH replies, "Come on Paddy, I've got 10,000 highly trained fighting men at my disposal. I think you'd better go and have another meeting." "I will", says Paddy, "I will."
"Are you still there Mr. Hussein? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're not going to declare war on you after all." "At last, " replies SH, "What made you change your mind?" "Well, it's those 10 thousand soldiers you see. We can't declare war on you because we've not got the facilities to keep all those prisoners!"
Prisoner?:huh: ..................:lol: :lol:
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogs
:lol:
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogs
What's with the random capitalization?
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogs
What's with the random capitalization?
Grammar Police Alert!!!!!
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogs
And the frog fucks up in the penultimate panel with "your".
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogs
And the frog fucks up in the penultimate panel with "your".
Cue terrifying horrifying death inducing music!!!
Dun Dun DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogs
Also, why bother with three wishes each? The "joke" could have been accomplished with just one wish each. Would have saved on panels, and thus saved space when the cartoon is repeatedly quoted.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogs
Also, why bother with three wishes each? The "joke" could have been accomplished with just one wish each. Would have saved on panels, and thus saved space when the cartoon is repeatedly quoted.
He's on a roll folks!!!!!
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Indeed, being right can be such a cnut.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Obviously in my version the chase ends next to where the rabbit has stored his bike and bike gear:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...ikebugbits.jpg
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
Efficient, that man!!!!
...and yet another save by Cheese of The Grammar Police!!!!!
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Busyman
Efficient, that man!!!!
...and yet another save by Cheese of The Grammar Police!!!!!
The saying, "Less is more" rings true in the case of exclamation marks. One will suffice for almost any occasion, and forming a small army of exclamation marks to attack your reader with excruciating force is entirely unnecessary. Another appropriate analogy would be the boy who cried exclamation mark. If you use it all the time then people will begin to realize that you really don't have anything to exclaim.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
Quote:
Originally Posted by Busyman
Efficient, that man!!!!
...and yet another save by Cheese of The Grammar Police!!!!!
The saying, "Less is more" rings true in the case of exclamation marks. One will suffice for almost any occasion, and forming a small army of exclamation marks to attack your reader with excruciating force is entirely unnecessary. Another appropriate analogy would be the boy who cried exclamation mark. If you use it all the time then people will begin to realize that you really don't have anything to exclaim.
!!!!!:O GTFOOH :O !!!!!!
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Busyman
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
The saying, "Less is more" rings true in the case of exclamation marks. One will suffice for almost any occasion, and forming a small army of exclamation marks to attack your reader with excruciating force is entirely unnecessary. Another appropriate analogy would be the boy who cried exclamation mark. If you use it all the time then people will begin to realize that you really don't have anything to exclaim.
!!!!!:O GTFOOH :O !!!!!!
I shouldn't be that amazed that you have forgotten English altogether by this point.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
Quote:
Originally Posted by Busyman
!!!!!:O GTFOOH :O !!!!!!
I wouldn't be that amazed if you haven't forgotten English altogether by this point.
Waht!!!!!!:unsure:
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Busyman
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese
I shouldn't be that amazed that you have forgotten English altogether by this point.
Waht!!!!!!:unsure:
Exactly.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Busyman
He's on a roll folks!!!!!
http://www.real153.com/img/cheese.jpg
:unsure:
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Thats a nasty peace of cheece 0_o
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
:huh: this topic is more stupid than the bo guy...
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan's Grape
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
They don't intend going to England.
My mate Rod told me that only 1% of their population has a passport. Also, he went on to explain, 65% of their population wouldn't be able to find England on a world map. So it's little wonder they never intend to visit their betters.
We don't visit...we invade :naughty: or fight wars you guys can't handle!
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by crysmileyguy!
:huh: this topic is more stupid than the bo guy...
the bo guy> you
:dabs:
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proper Bo
Quote:
Originally Posted by crysmileyguy!
:huh: this topic is more stupid than the bo guy...
the bo guy> you
:dabs:
yup.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Sushi
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan's Grape
My mate Rod told me that only 1% of their population has a passport. Also, he went on to explain, 65% of their population wouldn't be able to find England on a world map. So it's little wonder they never intend to visit their betters.
We don't visit...we invade :naughty: or fight wars you guys can't handle!
You forgot, "eventually and when it becomes personal". We are more au fait with what "ally" means, unlike the French.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by crysmileyguy!
:huh: this topic is more stupid than the bo guy...
:O Impossible ! :blink:
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
We are more au fait with what "ally" means, unlike the French.
What's that supposed to mean?
That remark, not the word "ally" before anyone tries to be a smartarse.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guillaume
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
We are more au fait with what "ally" means, unlike the French.
What's that supposed to mean?
That remark, not the word "ally" before anyone tries to be a smartarse.
It's meant to mean the French don't stick up for their pals.
But really I just wanted to use the term "au fait" in a sentence where I said the French didn't understand what something meant. A sort of cross language play on words.
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Re: Why Americans Don't Learn English
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPaul
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Sushi
We don't visit...we invade :naughty: or fight wars you guys can't handle!
You forgot, "eventually and when it becomes personal".
Nah, that was back when the US tried to mind their own business.
Now, if some country attacked the UK, the US would be on them like stink on doo doo.
