Getting baby to sleep?

We moved alot this past year and mainly stayed in one room places etc so baby sleeping technique was simply to cozy him to sleep.
He is now one year old. He finally has his own room.

His mom is now abroad for ten days so i decided to try the other technique.
Normally she would lie next to him and lullaby him to sleep, but i can't handle the duration it sometimes takes 2 hours and gets really annoying when he gets up.

I heard from other people that one should bath him, put him to bed cozy for a bit then leave, he begins to cry, then dont go back for 5 minutes, calm him down, no picking up, then leave - he cries again - then come back after ten minutes etc etc.

Have any of you done this technique? They say it takes about a week... I am on the third day and it is driving me nuts and seems very unfair to the child (plus my neighbours are giving me evil looks).


I read on the web that there 2 idealogies - the cozy method or cry it out method - both have advantages and disadvantages.

http://www.parida.com/crybaby.jpg

Yes, we've tried the controlled crying technique, and it does work, but it's hell while you are doing it. :(

We went through this a couple of months ago. It took about 5 days for her to get the message, and learn how to get herself to sleep.

We were doing 2 minutes, 4 minutes, 8 minutes, 16 minutes, etc. The first night it took about 2 hours, then an hour and a half, then an hour, now she can usually get herself to sleep within 10 minutes.

Even now though, if she gets too tired and stressed, or is teething (like tonight), we have to go through it again a bit longer. It's hard, you have my sympathies... :mellow:

The worst time was when she had learned to pull herself upright, but not how to get down again! She'd just stand and cry in the cot. One night I had to go in and lay her down 35 times or more :frusty:

Ignoring her would mean she would eventually fall over and bang her head. Why do they make cots out of hard stuff like wood? :blink:

We also had to remove the mobile from the cot, because she kept swinging on it :lol:

Anyway, good luck, and stick with it, it will get better ;)

In the time I wrote that post, she's settled down to sleep :wub:

@Barbarossa Thank you i needed that.
So when my wife comes home then i must prevent her from lullabying to sleep, no?
She loves it so much...

They say the disadvantages of the crying out method are that
-the parents my become "immune" or unsensitive to the baby's cries (i have noticed this during normal day cries)
-The child gets an unhealthy relation (fear?) to sleep and darkness and may affect him/her later in life
-The child may have "distrust" towards the parents. (Great i get all the blame, while she is off eating exotic meals etc)

Anyway my parents did it to me, and i think i turned out rather fantasticly abnormal.
Can't expect a baby sitter or grandparents to cozy with him for 2 hours.

The horror
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It used to really get to me when my little bro's had colic and when they would cry for hours with the little tears rolling down their faces :(

The first time we did it we were like "What if she wakes up in the morning and hates us", but of course, when morning came, she was as happy and smiley as she always is. :)

We've got a lullaby CD that we play in the background, as security, there's nothing wrong with lullabies. I think it's the rocking and cuddling to sleep that in the long run is counterproductive, because then they come to depend on that, and eventually of course, you must take it away (when they leave home :smilie4: )

I'm sorry to say she is a bit fond of her dummy at night, which is a future problem we are storing up for ourselves, but there you go.

To avoid the fear of darkness, she has a nightlight in one of the sockets, and if she really can't settle, the room-light is left on dim until she goes to sleep.

I wouldn't say we are immune to her cries now, it's a different sort of crying, you know? It's hard hearing her cry though, and knowing that there is something you can do to stop it (i.e. going in and picking her up), but you know that you shouldn't really. :(

Yes, it's hard.

If you muck about with a wean during the night they learn that they can have a playtime during the night.

Make sure they are clean, fed, winded, watered etc. Put them to bed, then that's it. They soon learn that bed is for sleeping.

Don't worry about the dummy, that's not the big problem people make it out to be.

@DanB Colic is supposedly hell compared to what i am going through

@Barbarossa - yes i have been concidering a cd of his fav chill tunes - will make a recording of mom when she gets back, night light is sort of not necessary in Norway.. but soon

@Agrajag - I wonder what would happen if you did just let the kid play as long as he wanted, when they are smaller they simply fall asleep in your arms wherever.


May i also ask, whether the afternoon sleeping time should be treated the same way (if he is home that is).
I find the afternoon 10/11am sleep easier because he normally is really tired and gives in easier. It ius super easy in the trolly cause he just passes out.
Except for today where I didn't realize that he had to take a dump and he preffers to do it standing up and i kept putting him down
It took 2 hours

I don't understand why it took women so long for their revolution. I am ready to revolt after one day.

All children are different and what works for one doesn't always work for the others. My 4 have all had their own routine and it took a couple of trial routines to find what works best for each.

A set routine seems to be the key and any changes in that routine will cause a "disturbance in the force".

There comes a point where the child has to be independent at bedtime so you just have to "tuck them in" and with all but one of mine the crying routine you described had to be carried out at some level to achieve this.
I would say that just because the child will get used to it and go to sleep this is not the same as the child feeling secure. My youngest will go to sleep reasonably well but will wake up scared, sometimes almost frantic and needs comforting.......like all children she is a work in progress.

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Originally Posted by 100%

We moved alot this past year and mainly stayed in one room places etc so baby sleeping technique was simply to cozy him to sleep.
He is now one year old. He finally has his own room.

His mom is now abroad for ten days so i decided to try the other technique.
Normally she would lie next to him and lullaby him to sleep, but i can't handle the duration it sometimes takes 2 hours and gets really annoying when he gets up.

I heard from other people that one should bath him, put him to bed cozy for a bit then leave, he begins to cry, then dont go back for 5 minutes, calm him down, no picking up, then leave - he cries again - then come back after ten minutes etc etc.

Have any of you done this technique? They say it takes about a week... I am on the third day and it is driving me nuts and seems very unfair to the child (plus my neighbours are giving me evil looks).


I read on the web that there 2 idealogies - the cozy method or cry it out method - both have advantages and disadvantages.

http://www.parida.com/crybaby.jpg

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Why go through all o dat? Just to put the baby to bed after a warm bath.:crazy:

....and for god's sake when the child gets walking age, don't let him sleep with you. It'll be hell getting him outta that habit.:ermm:

how many kidz you gut Busy?

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Originally Posted by DanB

how many kidz you gut Busy?

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wan

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Originally Posted by Busyman™

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Originally Posted by DanB

how many kidz you gut Busy?

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wan

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Does that mean they are spread around all over the place? :lol:

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Originally Posted by lynx

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Originally Posted by Busyman™

wan

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Does that mean they are spread around all over the place? :lol:

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:naughty:

:shifty:

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Originally Posted by 100%

@DanB Colic is supposedly hell compared to what i am going through

@Barbarossa - yes i have been concidering a cd of his fav chill tunes - will make a recording of mom when she gets back, night light is sort of not necessary in Norway.. but soon

@Agrajag - I wonder what would happen if you did just let the kid play as long as he wanted, when they are smaller they simply fall asleep in your arms wherever.


May i also ask, whether the afternoon sleeping time should be treated the same way (if he is home that is).
I find the afternoon 10/11am sleep easier because he normally is really tired and gives in easier. It ius super easy in the trolly cause he just passes out.
Except for today where I didn't realize that he had to take a dump and he preffers to do it standing up and i kept putting him down
It took 2 hours

I don't understand why it took women so long for their revolution. I am ready to revolt after one day.

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When they're very small, and they get tired, they just fall asleep because their brains sort of close down. When they get a bit bigger (about 6 months), it doesn't do that anymore, so they have to learn how to get themselves to sleep. That's when they start needing Comforters, such as a blankie or a dummy or a teddy-bear.

Or in your case, your wife :smilie4:

It's unfortunate that this time also quite often coincides with teething, which can stop them sleeping, and also something called Separation Anxiety, which is when they first realise that they are an individual, and not attached to mum. That's when they need reassurance that when you leave the room you are going to come back. Playing "peekaboo" helps with this :smilie4:

The books I've read say that you should do the daytime nap routine in a similar way to the night routine. However, we have trouble with the afternoon nap also. Sometimes taking her for a walk or a drive in the car sends her off instead.


Our evening routine is tea at about 5:30, then a bit of playtime, then bath at about 7:00, then read her a book, then bottle, then bed.

The bath, which is supposed to calm babies down, actually has the opposite effect on her for some reason :wacko:

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Originally Posted by DanB

It used to really get to me when my little bro's had colic and when they would cry for hours with the little tears rolling down their faces :(

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Our nextdoor neighbour's baby boy had really bad colic. He was constantly screaming for about 4 months :(

Did did this research thing a while back.

Children who get comforted when they cry, cry less in the long term than children who are left to cry.

Also, they turn out to be more confident adults.


But.. let me come back to you all next year when I have a baby :lol:

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

Did did this research thing a while back.

Children who get comforted when they cry, cry less in the long term than children who are left to cry.

Also, they turn out to be more confident adults.


But.. let me come back to you all next year when I have a baby :lol:

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Yeah I saw a doohicky on TV awhiles back where children that were not held much didn't develop certain pathways in their brain and turned out to criminals or had slow development. My recollection is sketchy.

I think there has to be a line drawn though in how often you come back...and keeping coming back. At some point the child cries...just cos loike. It could even be that the child is spoiled for such attention in the very beginning and the parents feels they must keep it up.

For instance (on a side note) when you let a child sleep with you at an early age, they will want to do it at a later age and can lose their minds when they have to sleep alone. Sometimes children seem to want to crawl back up in the womb.:ermm:

If you drop everything and come running every time a baby cries, then pretty soon they are going to cry for attention, because they know that's how they'll get it. :blink:

When they're very young, less than 6 months, you shouldn't just let them cry, always comfort them, but after about 6 months, you should leave them 5 minutes or so to see if they can settle themselves, and only after that, try comforting them, and then use the "controlled crying" technique (where you go back to them at ever increasing intervals) to give them the opportunity to settle themselves down, but also to reassure them that you're still there for them if they can't.

Eventually, you can tell when they are really in distress and need attention, or when they are just trying it on, to see if they can get their own way. :sly:

But I've definitely heard that the more cuddling and holding you have with them for the first 6 months of their life, the better balanced they're supposed to be as individuals, and also paradoxically the more confident and self-assured they will be.

After 6 months though you have to be a bit more wary, because they start trying to manipulate you :shifty:

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Originally Posted by Busyman

For instance (on a side note) when you let a child sleep with you at an early age, they will want to do it at a later age and can lose their minds when they have to sleep alone. Sometimes children seem to want to crawl back up in the womb.:ermm:

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There was a program on that just last week. It was about communal sleeping, a family bed.
one family had 5 children. They all started to sleep in the same bed from the start. But then as they got older (4+ years) the children decided to move to their own beds on their own accord.
The Psychologists shown in the show seemed to support this as the natural foundation of human upbringing and suggested that the way we do things in modern civilizations is counter to what would be, by nature, "instinct".
If we still lived in caves or we didn't have houses with separate rooms (as used to be the case for all but the very wealthy) we would all be sleeping together.
At the beginning of the program I viewed the families as being a bit odd but I have to say they did put a very compelling case forward. They made a lot of sense even though I wouldn't do it myself if I got my time over again.

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Originally Posted by vidcc

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Originally Posted by Busyman

For instance (on a side note) when you let a child sleep with you at an early age, they will want to do it at a later age and can lose their minds when they have to sleep alone. Sometimes children seem to want to crawl back up in the womb.:ermm:

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There was a program on that just last week. It was about communal sleeping, a family bed.
one family had 5 children. They all started to sleep in the same bed from the start. But then as they got older (4+ years) the children decided to move to their own beds on their own accord.
The Psychologists shown in the show seemed to support this as the natural foundation of human upbringing and suggested that the way we do things in modern civilizations is counter to what would be, by nature, "instinct".
If we still lived in caves or we didn't have houses with separate rooms (as used to be the case for all but the very wealthy) we would all be sleeping together.
At the beginning of the program I viewed the families as being a bit odd but I have to say they did put a very compelling case forward. They made a lot of sense even though I wouldn't do it myself if I got my time over again.

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Yeah it all makes sense nature wise. I mean calf and cubs are stuck under their mothers for awhile. However, the fact that humans have fetishes, psychology, and peer pressure (among other things) makes us way different from animals.

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Originally Posted by vidcc

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Originally Posted by Busyman

For instance (on a side note) when you let a child sleep with you at an early age, they will want to do it at a later age and can lose their minds when they have to sleep alone. Sometimes children seem to want to crawl back up in the womb.:ermm:

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There was a program on that just last week. It was about communal sleeping, a family bed.
one family had 5 children. They all started to sleep in the same bed from the start. But then as they got older (4+ years) the children decided to move to their own beds on their own accord.
The Psychologists shown in the show seemed to support this as the natural foundation of human upbringing and suggested that the way we do things in modern civilizations is counter to what would be, by nature, "instinct".
If we still lived in caves or we didn't have houses with separate rooms (as used to be the case for all but the very wealthy) we would all be sleeping together.
At the beginning of the program I viewed the families as being a bit odd but I have to say they did put a very compelling case forward. They made a lot of sense even though I wouldn't do it myself if I got my time over again.

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These are probably the same pyschologists who think babies should breastfed for 7 years or more :sick:

To be honest, I slept in the same bed as my dad until I was about 7 and then moved to my mum's bed until I was about 12, only then I decided to move into my own room despite the fact it had been there all along.

I kinda wish they'd made me sleep on my own sooner because I still can't sleep properly when I'm on my own and I feel uncomfortable on my own in the dark:(

I kinda got over it as I got older but if, for some reason, there is no one else in the house, I sleep in the living room with the TV on so I don't wake up to silence. It completely freaks me out.:cry:

I want my mummy:cry:

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

To be honest, I slept in the same bed as my dad until I was about 7 and then moved to my mum's bed until I was about 12, only then I decided to move into my own room despite the fact it had been there all along.

I kinda wish they'd made me sleep on my own sooner because I still can't sleep properly when I'm on my own and I feel uncomfortable on my own in the dark:(

I kinda got over it as I got older but if, for some reason, there is no one else in the house, I sleep in the living room with the TV on so I don't wake up to silence. It completely freaks me out.:cry:

I want my mummy:cry:

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:lol:

I slept alone when I was very young. Now I can fall asleep with the TV on in the basement with no cover on and wake up to pitch blackness in the middle of the night (TV timered off) and go right back to sleep. This is with all those fuckknuckling bugs that somehow make their way in my house.:angry:

"The bugs crawl in, the bugs crawl out, the bugs play fuckknuckle all over your snoooouuuuut.":dry:

As an aside, I can also go to sleep all types of ruckus going on. That's in part cos I'm a musician and part cos of all those party's and card games my parents had in the 70's that I had to sleep through.:ermm:

Once my pops told me to go to bed. A minute later my mother told me to get up and brush my teeth. Pops saw me up and tore me up. Parental infighting ensued (mom trying to protect me). Pops was quite harsh sometimes.

I'm a little bit tipsy right now.:stars:

I quite like the fact that everyone has taken 'fuckknuckle' into their vocabulary

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

I quite like the fact that everyone has taken 'fuckknuckle' into their vocabulary

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It's quite funny.

Luigi is doing better now, it takes normaly only one 7min session to pass out, i come in calm him for about five mintues and he passes out.
However
i have noticed that when i give him milk before going to bed, he sucks on it like there is no tomorrow, out of desparation even though he ate alot before.
He the consequently throws everything up....(great...) so i merely give him a little bit for that cliche milk bed thing, but actually find it pointless.

As for bathing him beforehand, it does wake him up...

When mine were younger I always picked them up when they cried , sat on a rocking chair or just put him in a car seat and went for a drive .

Sometimes just rubbing their back and singing a silly song works wonders . As for sleeping in a communal bed it never bothered us ,my youngest still crawls in after a bad dream . Plays havoc with the old love life tho .


First thing you do is throw away the Baby book and just trust your instincts ,I can't count the times I had to run off to the store at 12:00 pm to get another soother as we lost it . :frusty:

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Originally Posted by peat moss

First thing you do is throw away the Baby book and just trust your instincts ,I can't count the times I had to run off to the store at 12:00 pm to get another soother as we lost it . :frusty:

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You ran to the store in the middle of the day? You're crazy! :lol:

I just added a tv and a dvd player to my daughter's room and put on a baby einstein movie for her last night. She fell asleep in her room for the first time in a few months and slept there throughout the night. w00t.