Just In: Tom Cruise is Jesus Christ!!!

Cruise 'is Christ' of Scientology

By EMILY SMITH
US Editor
January 23, 2007



TOM Cruise is the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.


The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.

“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

Cruise joined the Church of Scientology in the ’80s. Leader L Ron Hubbard claimed humans bear traces of an ancient alien civilisation.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007030603,00.html

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Seems about right.

David Ike luvs the cawk

Sounds like y'all got yourselves a new and improved David Ike V2.0!!

Reptilian humanoids ftw!!!!111231!one!!"""!!!!eleven!!!1

Oh aye, and Tom Cruise is a weak minded baw bag.

Double post suckage...

Did scientology actually foretell a messiah. I've read a fair bit of what it says, however I can't remember that part.

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Originally Posted by Colt Seevers

David Ike luvs the cawk

Sounds like y'all got yourselves a new and improved David Ike V2.0!!

Reptilian humanoids ftw!!!!111231!one!!"""!!!!eleven!!!1

Oh aye, and Tom Cruise is a weak minded baw bag.

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Lol, he looks like the guy on Blue Collar TV (btw, that show isn't funny when no drugs are involved or when ur sober, whatever).

I don't like Tom Cruise, thats funny how they call him Christ-like.

Go on then, prove he isn't :dabs:

Travolta must be really jealous

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Originally Posted by zedaxax

Travolta must be really jealous

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Dont worry he will get his only special place in their religion soon.

As Judas.

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Originally Posted by 4play

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Originally Posted by zedaxax

Travolta must be really jealous

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Dont worry he will get his only special place in their religion soon.

As Judas.

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:lol: :lol: :lol:

Tomus Cruist?

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Originally Posted by Busyman

Tomus Cruist?

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You never know... :)

I always knew it was Tom...

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Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley

Did scientology actually foretell a messiah. I've read a fair bit of what it says, however I can't remember that part.

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If not, they can always write it in. :dabs:

:shuriken:

[youtube]So4vEhdKnBY[/youtube]

For those of us on dialup. Whats new in that Oprah/Tom vid? And why not link instead of hammering bandwidth?

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Originally Posted by zapjb

For those of us on dialup. Whats new in that Oprah/Tom vid? And why not link instead of hammering bandwidth?

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It's not just the oprah(about 2 seconds), it's a comparison between tom and jesus
It only hammers bandwidth if you open it :unsure: and it's certainly no different from putting a picture in.

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Originally Posted by zapjb

For those of us on dialup.

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You're on dial-up? :blink:

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Originally Posted by Hairbautt

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Originally Posted by zapjb

For those of us on dialup.

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You're on dial-up? :blink:

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Yup. Easier for me to leave the computer.

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Originally Posted by zapjb

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Originally Posted by Hairbautt

You're on dial-up? :blink:

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Yup. Easier for me to leave the computer.

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Wtf? What does that mean?:blink:

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Originally Posted by Busyman™

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Originally Posted by zapjb

Yup. Easier for me to leave the computer.

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Wtf? What does that mean?:blink:

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I think he means that it is so slow, that it is not worth it to just sit there surfin' the web. Therefore he walks up and leaves (apparently more frequently than broadband/hi-speed users).

Frankly, I think he just can't afford it. :dry:

:bleh: jk...sorta. May the Cruise be with you.

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Originally Posted by Hairbautt

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Originally Posted by Busyman™

Wtf? What does that mean?:blink:

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I think he means that it is so slow, that it is not worth it to just sit there surfin' the web. Therefore he walks up and leaves (apparently more frequently than broadband/hi-speed users).

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just like jesus, he rises from the dead.

I actually find that this thread relates very much to Catholic Church loses fight to discriminate
inrelation to contradiction to real life and belief.

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Originally Posted by Hairbautt

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Originally Posted by Busyman™

Wtf? What does that mean?:blink:

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I think he means that it is so slow, that it is not worth it to just sit there surfin' the web. Therefore he walks up and leaves (apparently more frequently than broadband/hi-speed users).

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I hope that's not what he means. That's just dumb.:mellow:

He's probably joking about dial-up anyway.

I've seen DSL in my area for $15 a month. Now if he is penny pinching, I can respect that.

The internet is not necessary.

I'm surprised the media hasn't crucified Tom Cruise over this.

Mission Impossible IV: From Cruise to Christ

Hail Xenu!

http://www.losanjealous.com/img/xenusouthpark.jpg

WOW, what will they think of next?

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Originally Posted by lynx

I'm surprised the media hasn't crucified Tom Cruise over this.

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:lol:

If the do his followers will be able to wear a life size crucifix round their necks.:)

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Originally Posted by bigboab

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Originally Posted by lynx

I'm surprised the media hasn't crucified Tom Cruise over this.

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:lol:

If the do his followers will be able to wear a life size crucifix round their necks.:)

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:lol: Most people don't know TC is like 5'4" short. :lol:

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

Go on then, prove he isn't :dabs:

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Can't.

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Originally Posted by zapjb

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Originally Posted by bigboab

:lol:

If the do his followers will be able to wear a life size crucifix round their necks.:)

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:lol: Most people don't know TC is like 5'4" short. :lol:

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He's 5' 7". Still though, I think I'm an inch or two taller than him. :P

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Originally Posted by Gam3Guy

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Originally Posted by zapjb

:lol: Most people don't know TC is like 5'4" short. :lol:

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He's 5' 7". Still though, I think I'm an inch or two taller than him. :P

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he still put the lord of darkness into the house of pain...hail cruise

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Originally Posted by SnnY

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Originally Posted by Barbarossa

Go on then, prove he isn't :dabs:

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Can't.

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Can.

His name isn't Jesus.

Now if the chap is saying that he is The Christ, The Messiah spoken off in the Bible, that's a different story.

However, even then he would be Tom Christ.

Or is the suggestion is that he is a second coming.

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Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley

Or is the suggestion is that he is a second coming.

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If that is so then I'm a leavin before he a gets here.

The only movie I remember Tom Cruise in is Vanilla Sky and he was pretty good in that movie, so kudos to him for being able to win obedience from those religious freaks