A complete guide to English language

I can't take it anymore.
Today I was on the bus and I noticed a poster with this printed on it

' The following service's will be running ... '

So I've decided, for once and for all, I'm going to explain the use of the apostrophe.

* They are never used to make a plural
e.g 1 service, 2 services
1 kiss, 2 kisses
1 sheep, 2 sheep

* They usual point to an abbreviation:
e.g. It's a nice day = It is a nice day
There's a man at the door = There is a man at the door

* They are also used to create a possesive form
e.g Ben's toys
The dog's bone

Except when using 'it' 'her' 'our' 'yours'
e.g The bone is in its mouth

* If you are referring to a plural possesive however, the apostrophe goes AFTER the last letter
e.g The dogs' bones




Thank you

Thank's, that halp's.

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Originally Posted by Snee

Thank's, that halp's.

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LOL

I was wondering about that and also felt rather shy recently, regarding their usage. The reason being; I would be ashamed to be corrected by smart foreigner especially if she be a woman! Same problem with colons and worse semi-colons; any tips? :)

Actually they don't make an abbreviation, it's a contraction.

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Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley

Actually they don't make an abbreviation, it's a contraction.

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:O

Go on Mr. J.P. Fugley, someone must put her in her place; next she will rewrite the complete dictionary and probably call it a theasurus; and they are dangerous.

anyways there's more to the English language than a silly apocalyps!

http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apocalyps

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley

Actually they don't make an abbreviation, it's a contraction.

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:dry:

:o

Theyre all plain silly and dont get whats going on...

Also and more important..Skweeky lives in Scotland.. I rest my case :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Snee

Thank's, that halp's.

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:lol: :lol: :lol:

mmmmm

Nigel is English, but lives in the Netherlands.

My historical heritage tells me I should hate him

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

mmmmm

Nigel is English, but lives in the Netherlands.

My historical heritage tells me I should hate him

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Unless your "historical heritage" resides in your brain, however like me I am afraid it probably resides in your heart, which makes us vulnerable..


Anway the best beer in the world is brewed in Belgium..if that makes you feel any better and not to mention Bon Bons..

Oh and while we are still communicating...dont ride the Broncho..

I keep my historical heritage in a box under my bed. It gets too rowdy otherwise

Skweeky, there is more to this thread than the Scottish rule for annoying Skweeky; ie. the inappropriate use of an apostrophe. Truth be told, hubby knew you would notice that particular one, and probably used crayon to add one just before you noticed it.. Just a bit of good clean fun, call it foreplay.
So how about adding some more "completer" rules..You know, we all need it. Perhaps the method of choosing between using a semi-colon and a colon to begin with.
I always find colons distasteful and sometimes smelly too. Which makes the correct choice, difficult.

It's too hard to explain; semi-colons are an emotional thing.

If you don't understand, stay away from them.

It would be like trying to drive a TVR Tuscan Speed 12 at 150mph without knowing how to drive.

Fact

The Semicolon

The semicolon is somewhere between a weak full stop and a strong comma and used to join phrases and sentences without having to use a conjunction (and, but etc.) where the phrases or sentences are thematically linked but independent.

Look at this example.

* Many great leaders; Churchill, leader of Britain during the Second World War; Alexander, the great Roman Emperor and general; and Napolean, the brilliant French general, had great strengths of character which were useful when their countries were at war but also great weaknesses which did not serve them so well in times of peace.

Notice how the semicolon works with the comma to enclose the connected phrases while the whole forms one logical sentence.

We need more of these examples Skweeky and of course Sextent. Thank you kindly. Strange those two nicks in one sentence.

Random writing tips. Just what I need.

Seriously.

/subscribed

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Originally Posted by Hairbautt

Random writing tips. Just what I need.

Seriously.

/subscribed

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You already do random writing.

New members should have to pass a basic spelling and grammar test before they're allowed to sign up

hmm

the English language.

Nah, that would spoil the fun of laughing at them.

"Definetly " is the most misspelled word on the internet.

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Originally Posted by 100%

"Definetly " is the most misspelled word on the internet.

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Without a dowt.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 100%

"Definetly " is the most misspelled word on the internet.

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That sounds about right.

On this forum...I would have to say "cawk" is the most misspelled word.


-bd

Quote:

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Originally Posted by brotherdoobie

On this forum...I would have to say "cawk" is the most misspelled word.


-bd

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:blink:

This is a guide not a speculation thread!

Come on Skweeky we need you to help us alliterate...

and also anal arses almost always alliterate annoyingly.

It's nice to hear it from the horse's mouth for a change ....

Don't you mean from the ass's mouth?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skweeky

It's nice to hear it from the horse's mouth for a change ....

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Where do you usually hear it from.:unsure:

I don't really know.

I was trying to come accross colloquial :lol:

kewl

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Originally Posted by Seedler

kewl

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I am going to ignore this comment. The concept for this thread is... a complete guide to (the) English Language and not American translation (slang).

http://img125.imageshack.us/img125/9319/jidw1.jpg

and anyways... maybe Will belongs to teh services Skweeky!

They can also be used to show plurality of symbols, acronyms, digits or individual letters. An accepted rule is to use an apostrophe if the acronym, letter is lower-case, and not necessary if they are upper-case.

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Originally Posted by mbucari1

They can also be used to show plurality of symbols, acronyms, digits or individual letters. An accepted rule is to use an apostrophe if the acronym, letter is lower-case, and not necessary if they are upper-case.

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That's the American English..rule.