A life well spent

This is what I don't understand.

You've lived a good life. You're in relatively active old age or you've been diagnosed with a terminal condition. You've spent your whole life grabbing every opportunity, really living and loving every minute of it. So what would be a fitting tribute to a life so full of worth and pleasure? Spending your old age drooling into your lavender-scented blouse or cardigan....pegging it in a hospice while your terminal illness robs you of your faculties and your health, or.....

Tooling yourself up with as much weaponry and ammo as you can conceal underneath your girdle/piss bag and blowing the fuck out of Robert Mugabe before shooting yourself in the head before anyone can stop you?

Why don't people do this. The elderly might get a lot more respect if they made themselves useful in such a manner :dry:.

Yeah, biggles, do what she said.

:glag:

Harsh.

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Originally Posted by brotherdoobie

Harsh.

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:ermm: I thought so


...also Mugabe is really hard to get at. He is only 2'6" and all his bodyguards are 6'6" He is impossible to see in a crowd.

I think it's only fair that I step up to the plate and take responsibility for that grotesque insult, Biggy. It is after all my name over the door.

As for Mugabe....old people are generally only about 2ft tall anyway....surely one can slip through the legs of the bouncers, especially if they work in groups. The one that's packing can do the dirty business while the others are distracting the bodyguards with Werther's Originals.

I've had another idea. Jeez, why is it always me that has to think of these things? I'm like the board 'Hannibal' off of the A-Team.

There's always loads of fit young nubile female cancer sufferers. Instead of spending their last days wearing silly hats and being brave, they could worm their way into Mugabe's person by posing as high class prostitutes, James Bond stylee, then shoot him in the head with a miniature gun cunningly wedged in their garter belt. It's bound to work....you know how well white women go down in Africa/the Middle East.

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Originally Posted by Biggles

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Originally Posted by brotherdoobie

Harsh.

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:ermm: I thought so

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Sorry.

It sort of wrote itself, 'twas as if I was just along for the ride, and my hands did the typing all on their own, honest.

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I dunno about the nubile young female cancer-sufferers, tbh, squeamous, afaik they don't often look that good by the time they've been diagnosed as terminal :idunno:

I do like the way you think, though.

Well that'll have to be some consolation Snee :D

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Originally Posted by Snee

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Biggles

:ermm: I thought so

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Sorry.

It sort of wrote itself, 'twas as if I was just along for the ride, and my hands did the typing all on their own, honest.

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I dunno about the nubile young female cancer-sufferers, tbh, squeamous, afaik they don't often look that good by the time they've been diagnosed as terminal :idunno:

I do like the way you think, though.

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Not so much lateral as serpentine with the bite at the end :shifty:


Edit: can't we just send Fugley to administer a cunt punch to the wee cheating git?

Take out a bank loan and drive a bently into some sort of monument after fleeing from a string of bank robberies.

Old people as stunt doubles for ultra realistic crash scenes. :smilie4:

They get to meet a few famous actors, go out with a bang and be on the telly. It's all win for them.

Good, good.....Smith you can be BA Baracas and Benchez you can be Murdoch. Now we just need someone handsome for Face.....

:smilie4:

Anyone.....

I'll play Face.


-bd :cool:

Anyone at all....

Get people to submit photos, pick the ugliest guy and tell him he is going to be Face.

Let him reply to your post and give him an hour or so.
Then completely destroy the last vestige of self-worth he possesses by telling him that he's been suckercawked :smilie4:

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Anyone at all....

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:lol:


-bd

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Originally Posted by manker

Get people to submit photos, pick the ugliest guy and tell him he is going to be Face.

Let him reply to your post and give him an hour or so.
Then completely destroy the last vestige of self-worth he possesses by telling him that he's been suckercawked :smilie4:

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What a cunning stunt! Got any pics of you?

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Originally Posted by Squeamous

Quote:

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Originally Posted by manker

Get people to submit photos, pick the ugliest guy and tell him he is going to be Face.

Let him reply to your post and give him an hour or so.
Then completely destroy the last vestige of self-worth he possesses by telling him that he's been suckercawked :smilie4:

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What a cunning stunt! Got any pics of you?

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There is the toilet paper head thread - but that might not be much good.

The what? I had Manker down as a sort of swarthy Naveen Andrews type :(.

Think a younger welsher Michael Keaton, like.

Michael Keaton in Batman or Michael Keaton in Pacific Heights? :unsure:

Batman, definitely.

Damn, I'm kind of into the pschopathic lodger from hell type :(.

Who isn't?

Batman will do though......beggars can't be choosers....

There's a pic of me in this post, caught unaware by the iridescent sheen of a chrome bin.

My hair is different now - the new style makes me look more swarthy :unsure:

/would

By the way, I think her problem with the bin is that you both use it :lol:. My OH bought me a set of souffle/serving bowls for Christmas this year and it was the best present, because he knows I have difficulty serving dips and stuff. He even bought the right colour for the kitchen and they're oven proof. Genius!

I've had some shit presents in my time. One year when I was 13 I got given a Snowman duvet set (my birthday is in March) and a suitcase.

:wub:

Her birthday is coming up, I'm gonna get her souffle serving bowls (whatever they are) and if she doesn't like them, I'll blame the internets and post a thread about how wrong she is.

Btw, a suitcase :lol: :blink:
That is such a fantastic present for someone you're about to chuck. 'Happy birthday, flowe. Now pack it and fuck off'.

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Originally Posted by manker

:wub:

Her birthday is coming up, I'm gonna get her souffle serving bowls (whatever they are) and if she doesn't like them, I'll blame the internets and post a thread about wrong she is.

Btw, a suitcase :lol: :blink:
That is such a fantastic present for someone you're about to chuck. 'Happy birthday, flowe. Now pack it and fuck off'.

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I did wonder about the subliminal message in a suitcase for a 13 year old :lol:

Tsk. They are serving bowls that can also be used to make souffles in. I wouldn't expect boys to understand :snooty:.

I did wonder if my parents were hinting with the suitcase. I almost cried with disappointment when I opened it. They even led me downstairs when I awoke, and dead proudly did a sort of 'ta-da!' in the direction of the huuuge wrapped present. Wtf were they thinking?

On the subject of presents for someone you're about to chuck. I got dumped on Valentine's Day once, and before he did it he gave me a teddy with a sad face and a Valentine's card that had a verse inside it about the sands of time washing into the sea :lol:. What a cock.

What a 'tard, he should have done it the day before and saved himself some money.

He was obviously completely insane :snooty:.

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Originally Posted by Proper Bo

What a 'tard, he should have done it the day before and saved himself some money.

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Nah, that would have been missing out on some possibly epic pwnage.

He fucked that up anyways, though.

mous think about japan , they would have a whole army of old ladies who just turned to grannies after 14 :fear:

Actually you're right. When I think about Japan somehow my troubles don't seem quite so bad anymore :P.

Here's the card! I have it in a frame on the wall because I like the picture. I blu-tacked it shut and haven't opened it for 10 years. I'm thinking it might be time to read it again, and then throw it away....:unsure:.

http://i32.tinypic.com/dgqlwn.jpg