If jack helped you off your horse

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10-26-2008, 01:44 PM
JPaul

If jack helped you off your horse

Would you help jack off his horse.
10-26-2008, 01:53 PM
chalice

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

I would off Jack's horse first, then I'd make some glue and dogfood.

When that was all done, I'd ride away on my horse, laughing at Jack and his inability to properly protect his horse.
10-26-2008, 02:38 PM
JPaul

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Jack is an arse.
10-26-2008, 04:23 PM
100%

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

You know jack ('s horse) shit about getting off on a horse.
10-26-2008, 04:51 PM
Mr. Mulder

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

no but i'd probably suck him off.
10-26-2008, 04:51 PM
Mr. Mulder

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

:o
10-26-2008, 04:55 PM
JPaul

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

:lol::earl:

You and your single entendres.
10-26-2008, 05:15 PM
Skweeky

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

I heard you really shouldn't suck off horses. Their willies are too big and you may damage your throat :yes:
10-26-2008, 05:18 PM
JPaul

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

In what context did you hear this, young lady.
10-26-2008, 06:00 PM
Skweeky

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

I once worked in a hotel for a month or so, as a chamber maid :fear:
10-26-2008, 06:37 PM
Something Else

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skweeky

I once worked in a hotel for a month or so, as a chamber maid :fear:

She opened the top drawer!!!!! :O

:fear:
10-26-2008, 06:39 PM
Skweeky

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

:huh:

I could tell you some gruesome stories about the things I found in some of those rooms :sick:
10-26-2008, 06:41 PM
Something Else

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Oh gawan then.
10-26-2008, 06:42 PM
chalice

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Quote:

Originally Posted by benchez

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skweeky

I once worked in a hotel for a month or so, as a chamber maid :fear:

She opened the top drawer!!!!! :O

:fear:

I used to go out with a girl who was a chambermaid in an Amsterdam hotel. No that's not a euphemism, it's a fact.

Tourists shit bricks when they're going home so they tend to leave whatever drugs they have left over in the hotel room. Either that or they're so fucked off their heads, they forget about them.

Either way, it's fucking win to be a chambermaid in an Amsterdam hotel. Even more win when you're her boyfriend. :smilie4:
10-26-2008, 06:44 PM
Something Else

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

That does sound win. She sounds like she's been in more hotel rooms than bibles. :smilie4:
10-26-2008, 06:44 PM
Skweeky

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Well... this one time I was walking down the corridor with my wee trolley and this old lady walked up to me and gave me a tenner. She pointed at her room and started apologising profusely about the mess in there. She also explained the reception had moved her to a different room.

She then went on to explain her husband had caught a stomach bug and had been 'very ill throughout the night'

When I walked into the room there was a trail of shit going from the bed to the bathroom. The bathroom was literally covered in the stuff. It was on the ceiling.
I mean... how the hell do you get it to splatter on the fucking ceiling???
10-26-2008, 06:45 PM
JPaul

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Quote:

Originally Posted by benchez

That does sound win. She sounds like she's been in more hotel rooms than bibles. :smilie4:

I think they tend to stay in the same room, mate. Until they are stolen obviousement.
10-26-2008, 06:46 PM
Something Else

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

:sick:

OK, thanks for that. Are there any less sick ones.
10-26-2008, 06:47 PM
JPaul

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Yeah, how come you had to drop out of the after dinner raconteur circuit.
10-26-2008, 06:47 PM
Something Else

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Quote:

Originally Posted by JPaul

Quote:

Originally Posted by benchez

That does sound win. She sounds like she's been in more hotel rooms than bibles. :smilie4:

I think they tend to stay in the same room, mate. Until they are stolen obviousement.

That's why I didn't say 'A bible' .

To be honest, I just heard it in a tune I was listening to Wu Tang Clan are to blame. They need to be stopped. :pinch:
10-26-2008, 06:49 PM
Skweeky

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Quote:

Originally Posted by benchez

:sick:

OK, thanks for that. Are there any less sick ones.

You asked :snooty:
10-26-2008, 06:52 PM
Skweeky

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Quote:

Originally Posted by JPaul

Yeah, how come you had to drop out of the after dinner raconteur circuit.

I don't know...

Last night I was telling an entertaining story about an entonox fuelled party I once went to. People laughed. :snooty:
10-26-2008, 06:54 PM
Mr. Mulder

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skweeky

Well... this one time I was walking down the corridor with my wee trolley and this old lady walked up to me and gave me a tenner. She pointed at her room and started apologising profusely about the mess in there. She also explained the reception had moved her to a different room.

She then went on to explain her husband had caught a stomach bug and had been 'very ill throughout the night'

When I walked into the room there was a trail of shit going from the bed to the bathroom. The bathroom was literally covered in the stuff. It was on the ceiling.
I mean... how the hell do you get it to splatter on the fucking ceiling???

:lol: that guys awesome!
10-26-2008, 06:55 PM
Skweeky

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

I reckon they were just into kinky sex and something went wrong with the enema :lol:
10-26-2008, 06:59 PM
Mr. Mulder

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

pics! :o
10-26-2008, 07:00 PM
Skweeky

Re: If jack helped you off your horse

I would put that into google and see what it brings up. I'm too scared to do it myself :fear: